A year passed by - Day 481

Gian was mentioning the other day that when ever someone speak about Bernard, they speak about him in a present tense; and I was looking at this point for myself of how to me Bernard is still 'here' as the principles that he stood as and lived by - this, could  never die with him.

 

His death was a challenge to say the least - having to 'grow up' from Bernard's protective shell and finding my own feet within myself. Learning to trust myself, learning to direct and move myself, learning to develop communication skills that are based on support to one another, learning to live independently and yet interdependent with the people around me; learning to consider myself and others, learning to care for myself and others, learning to be patience with myself and others.

 

Bernard, in his presence, showed us the way and the tools to develop these potentials inside ourselves but it was up to us to stand up and walk these potentials, as principles for ourselves and each other. With his death, we had to make the ultimate decision of who we are and what we stand for though for and for us, there was never a question - we just stood and continued walking, together, with absolute support to one another.

 

Cerise mentioned today in her blog:

In order for us to really grow we had to step out from under the protection that Bernard gave us. It may not have been his intention to shelter us, but he did nonetheless. He would weather a storm if it meant another wouldn't have to. We got too comfortable in the safety and guidance he naturally gave out, we did not move ourselves. The only way that we could really stand up on our own was for him to die - we were not doing it on our own

 

Indeed - those who knew Bernard realized this point for themselves - that for us to grow and expand ourselves, he had to die as we didn't take the responsibility to stand up when he was alive - we were all hoping that we could find a ways to change without actively and physically changing ourselves.

 

Bernard's death in many ways showed us the consequences of when waiting for someone else to walk that which we have to walk ourselves. Realizing this now will not change the past but we can change the future where we no longer wait for consequences to manifest but instead we walk the prevention process as solutions that can be physically applied.

 

Therefore, I will not repeat the same mistake again in waiting for someone to pave the way for me instead of me paving the way for myself; I will not sit back and wait for the world to fix itself, I will become the solution myself. I will not wait until the world reaches the point of no return, I will stand up and create a future that is best for all.

 

So, in looking at the past year - what we have created together thus far and whom we have become - I am grateful for having Bernard in our lives and more so, I am grateful for the opportunity to walk with the people whom are walking with me. we have walked a long way and the road ahead is not an easy one to walk but I am certain that together we will pave the way to create future that is worth living. If anything, this was what Bernard showed us in his death.

But I applied Self-Forgiveness - why didn't I change - Day 457

 

Sometime I find myself applying Self-Forgiveness in relation to a specific patterns that I've seen within myself but on a physical level, I self honestly do not see a self-change as the point reoccurring over and over again.

When I investigated the point within myself, I have found that there are 2 dimensions that I must consider:

 

1. It may seem as if there was no Self-Change but in fact, what is showing is simply another dimension that I haven't seen before and hence, I require to work with that which opened up, forgive myself and 'wait' till a moment reveal itself again for me to see/assess if the self forgiveness was effective or there are more dimensions I must open up and investigate within and as myself.
2. I may have forgiven myself however, the automated programming still very must existent and all that is required from me to do now is  to stop and change the programming through accumulation of moments where I physically correct the point within and as myself. Here, What I often find myself doing is firstly judging myself for falling again - "I shouldn't have done that", or "what the fuck now",  or "how could I" or "I can't believe I fell into this again" or "what the hell is wrong with me".  Other times, a memory comes up and I suck into the emotional experience of that memory but at the same time, I do stop myself, not accepting that shit any more the exist within me but the moment after, I judge myself for accessing the memory in the first place not realizing that 'hey, it was me who directed myself to snap out of the emotional experience of the memory as how I've instructed myself when I paved my way before me to physically change myself when/as the memory comes up again.

 

What I also found is that when it is another dimension that opens up which I require to further explore/investigate, the self judgement is not as intense as it is when the exact same programming is repeating itself. Because, in the first scenario, the programming doesn't play out exactly as it was playing out before, something new emerge but when the second scenario is playing out, it is the exact same point that I have worked with before. In other words, taking it back to the nature of Self Judgement, in the first scenario, the self judgement is coming as: "but what am I missing? I don't understand" unlike the second scenario where the self judgement is more in the sense of self-hatred/anger if you will.

 

It is strange that it was said so many times before the Self Forgiveness by itself does not change self as the change must be walked in the physical real time and yet, time after time I judge myself when something that I already looked at and worked on is playing out and yet, the programming takes over and the pattern is playing out again.

 

Interestingly enough, the only point where I literally fall is when I judge myself lol

Because, as I've explained in my previous blog - who I am is not determine by an outcome. Who I am is determine according to my relationship to the outcome and within that, whether or not I will stand up and physically change my living application.

 

Thus, my weakness point throughout the process that I've walked was self judgement where I accepted and allowed myself to be hard on myself as a reaction, instead of practically assess myself in any given moment and walk the relevant alignment that would support me to physically change myself when/as a point is 'here' again. Though, as long as I was giving my attention to my own enemy - my own self judgement, I slowed my process of change down as I didn't directly and immediately moved to the correction.

 

Where am I going with this - I realized that if anything, 'self judgement' is unacceptable as it is not in fact assisting and supporting me to expand and empower myself but quite to the contrary - it is limiting my self-expansion growth. So, why have I allowed self judgement to exists within and as me thus far - that is because I have valued myself according to outcomes in separation of myself instead of being humble and patient with myself within the realization that self-value is defined by who I am in how I stand up within myself when/as misalignment is showing itself as a physical outcome.

 

Thus, I commit myself to physically integrate self value within myself through accumulation of moments where I prove to myself that I've corrected and change a point/pattern that was existent within myself. Within this, when/as I see that a change was not yet been absolute as a living expression of myself, I stop, I look, I investigate, align, and move to the next moment where I will physically assess and test my living application.

Life - Cult(ure) that is Best for all - Day 354

 

 

Over the years of walking with the Equal Life Foundation, Equal Money System and Desteni, we've been identified, defined, accused, blamed, judged, etc. as a Cult. Now, ironically enough, the Principle that we stand for in application implies that everyone on earth would be protected, cared for, educated and honoured and yet, it seems that the principle we stand for: Life that is best for all is so extreme and far from the human's comprehension that there was nothing else to define us and therefor, we must be a cult.

 

Now, if you investigate the Equal Life Foundation you will find a solution for all and every single problem that exists in this world and while you have so many organizations that claim and protest for human rights, you would see that if you bring all of these organization together, it would still not be a complete solution for the establishment of a life that is best for all because none of these organization have understood the extent of the problem we are facing and thus, couldn't come up with an encompassing solution. And yet, we are evil for some reason, brainwashed cult. I mean, I already said it is bizarre didn't I?

 

So it is time to set the record straight: The Equal Life Foundation is a non profit organization that is not part of the Elitist policy control but is based on Individual understanding that what has been accepted and allowed in this world is no longer acceptable and in the era of 2013, with the advance technology available, resources and human power, the atrocities that many are facing must cease to exists.

 

In the near future, I will explain in detail why is it the we have defined as an Evil Cult and what it has to do with Cognitive misinformation but for now, what must be understood is that if you allow yourself to so quickly follow the ones that claim we are dangerous cult without checking the facts for yourself, you are from that moment can no longer be able to justify why is it that you are not part of the problem in this world. Understand that the Equal Life foundation is an organization that its members are from all over the world and we are busy with daily writing, research, investigation and participation in various projects and as such, you will have months of reading to do just to be able to begin to understand what we are all about; Claiming you know who and what we are without reading and investigating the material meticulously is again imply that you have no respect towards Life because you fell into the trap of those who wish that the beast inside you, the beast that is awaiting for you to wake up and stand up for a world that is best for all, will always remind numb because if you wake up, their control and power over you will no longer be possible.

 

So - if you wish to call, define, brand, judge us a cult - go for it however realize that the our Cult(ure) is the most honourable Cult(ure) that have ever existed - a Cult(ure) of Life that is best for all and if you are not part of a Cult(ure) that is best for all than you are in a cult of Self Interest that belongs to a few and unfortunately, most likely that you are not part of these few but only their slave with no awareness that you are.

The cultural society norms character - Self Commitments - Day 99

This is a continuation to

The Chameleon Character in my Movie of my Life - Day 97

The cultural society norms character - Self Forgiveness Day 98

 

I commit myself to let the guilt of not standing within and as how I've programmed myself to be and become as my culture/society norms and behaviors because I see, realize and understand that guilt emerge when and as I hold onto memories of the other characters that I perceived to be disappointed from me stepping out of my character and so long as I allow those memories to dictate my living expression, I've not in fact changed and stood within and as a principle of what is best for all as I accept and allow myself to separate myself from here, as all that exists here, through giving value to specific groups/cultures/societies and disregard everything and everyone else in this world.

 

I commit myself to STOP the co-dependent relationships in my world and my reality and to transform the relationship's starting point to that which is best for all which then, the relationship will become interdependent relationship where all are working together, in agreement, assisting and supporting each other to step out of character, so that we can for once and for all, stand together and recreate the our existence through clearing up the mess within and as ourselves and clearing up the mess within and as existence as ourselves. I see, realize and understand that when the relationship isn't co-dependent relationship, when/if one step out of character, the other wouldn't be dependent on the other to remain in character and so, each make the decision to either remain in character or step out of character. We decide.

 

I commit myself to show that the value that we have attached/defined/connected to our culture/social norms that we brought up to accept and allow as ourselves was done within and as separation where we have only maintain our culture guideline and have protected our legacy while all along, disregard all other cultures and have allowed abuse and suffering all around the world.

Within that, I commit myself to show that when a baby comes to the world, he doesn't have any memories, thoughts, emotions/feelings and value towards one's culture and that the parents as the culture have brainwashed the child until the child accepted and allowed the value of the culture to be his dictator as the child is already lost within and as him mind, as character.

 

I commit myself to stand in the face of frictions/disagreement that may occur due to me stepping out of characters. I see, realize and understand that the cause of friction is due to me not standing as equal to and one as the memories that people are holding towards me and as I stand and challenge their character, they will access resistance and friction as that was the process that I've walked within and as myself. And I commit myself to show, how I've supported myself to step out of my characters, how I've walked and still walking through the resistances that I face in the moment of change as the memories that I stored within my flesh doesn't match the character that I'm busy deleting and as such, the mind resisting its deletion but it is only me who decide whether to give in or stand up. it is always me who decide.

 

I commit myself to show how the culture/society norms brainwash its followers through a rewards system for their good behaviour as it was the culture/society norms as who we are that have created the rewards system to enslave and control us to the source/power/god/elite of Money that will provide us our rewards.

 

I commit myself to stand as equal and one as my self-responsibility to step out of character and within that, not accept and allow other people's character as I see, realize and understand that so long as I accept the shit of others, I accept the shit of myself and that is because I wasn't willing to stand up and direct my world and my reality within and as a principle of what is best for all and so long as I'm not standing in this position, I accept and allow myself to recreate my own shit that is a reflection of this world as a mirror of my acceptance and allowances.

 

I commit myself to let go of all my desires for a specific experience within self interest as I see the consequences of me accepting and allowing myself to exists within such desires; I commit myself to show that so long as we accept and allow the self interest desire of rewards as energy, we accept and allow the abuse and suffering in this world as all we care about is ourselves and ourselves only; I commit myself to show that so long as we care for ourselves only, we blind ourselves from the real physical reality that is Here, and we are not in fact doing anything to change the physical experience of the majority of this world into a fulfilling Life experience that is equal to and one for all; I commit myself to show that it is in our power, self will and ability to change this world if and as we let go of our individual race for our own self interest desire for an experience and practically apply the principle of do onto another that which you'd like to be done to you.

 

I commit myself to let go of the belief that I must explain myself to others as there is only ONE being that I must explain myself to and that is me - explain why despite of all I know, I haven't yet changed myself and accordingly, take the responsibility to do what ever it takes, as long as it takes, and change in fact.

The cultural society norms character - Self Forgiveness Day 98

This is a continuation to

The Chameleon Character in my Movie of my Life - Day 97

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have taken for granted the belief that I must embody specific emotions and feeling within and as myself according to how the society and culture expect me to behave and thus, when and as I've not stood within the embodiment of a specific emotion/feeling when for example, someone questioned/challenged my stance, I access guilt for not being possessed by the expected emotion/feeling without realizing that in that moment of guilt, I've in fact have become possessed through accessing another dimension of and as Guilt and thus, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to stand as who I am, with no energy movement within and as myself and instead, have allowed the Chameleon Character that I've created and become to dictate the script I would play, the script that would ensure my position within and as the my society/culture so that I would please my environment and could maintain the 'peace' within the relationship.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize how instantaneously, me, as the Chameleon character, chooses the character that will suit the best outcome in any given moment wherein when my stance within the cultural and society norms is challenged, I would choose the best character that will automatically speak on my behalf so that I wouldn't create a friction within my environment. In this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the core/source/reason for why I haven't accepted and allowed myself to stand up as LIFE that is best for all is because of fear of losing my desires as I believed that only those in my culture/society can fulfil these desires because they have done so in the past and thus, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand the co-dependency relationships that I've created with my environment wherein, we are dependent on each other to remain in character and fulfil each other desires, despite of the fact that it is only our desires, in self interest that we are providing for each other and there is no equal and one care and consideration to everything and everyone in this world and so, if one will step out of character, the relationship will fall and our desires wouldn't be able to be fulfilled any longer. 

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have place Value within and as the culture and society norms that I grow up with and have thus, embodiment those values within and as my flesh to be guided and directed in any given moment and accordingly, have automated my behaviour through creating myself as the chameleon character, as a data bank of all the character that I can use to be able to maintain/sustain myself as my culture/social norms dictate me and would be able to fit in, be accepted, validated and rewarded.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear stepping out of the culture and society norms character because I know that when stepping out of character, friction would defiantly manifest and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to walk in self trust in every moment of every breath in absolute self honesty, trusting that I would keep walking no matter what may manifest and thus, I let go of the fear of friction as there is nothing to be afraid of - Friction will manifest as it is part of the change as the challenge that each one will face and unless I stand in the face of the challenge and friction, I will know one thing - I had a chance to step out of my character and stand up as Life that is best for all, and yet, I haven't as I've allowed myself as the fear character to direct, control, enslave and dictate me who and what I am as the culture and society norms that I've accepted as myself and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that unless I step out of character, I am useless as I have all that one needs for one self change - I've got the tools, I've got the support and it is me who decide whether I stand or fall and it would be me who would have to explain why and how I've allowed myself to fall with all the support that I have had throughout my Life.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the relationship between remaining in the culture/society norms character and the self interest desire for a reward as an experience because according to my past experience, when and as I stood within the cultural/society norms, I got a reward for my behaviour and thus, have decided to remain in character so that I could maintain and sustain my rewards.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to compromise and diminish myself through taking other people cultural and society norms characters personally and have thus, wear specific suits and changed my colours to sustain the peace within our relationships because I feared facing friction and within that, I haven't seen, realized and understood that so long as I accept and allow them to remain in their characters, I'm supporting their characters and thus, support their acceptance and allowance of the diminishment and compromise of themselves as characters because I wasn't willing to step out of my character and stand as a pillar of support within and as myself and within and as others as myself.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to change my colours around people which I've stored memories about and haven't allowed myself to express myself as who I am, despite of me knowing exactly what is that I'm accepting and allowing when and as I allow myself to change my colours and submit to the cultural/society character and I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to stand in self honesty as who I am, in every given moment due to fears of being mocked, judged, not accepted and validated because there was a desire that I didn't allow myself to give up yet, a desire for a self interest reward that I may get if I play along with the game, a desire that I didn't allow myself to let go because I haven't established self trust within and as myself that I will stand in the face of what ever my come, and walk the same as yesterday today and tomorrow, that I will stand and find a practical solution for what ever that may come because there is ALWAYS a solution if I dare myself to see it because the solution is Me, as what I decide ME to be and become, what I will accept and what I won't - it is always me who decides.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must explain and justify why I've changed to those who are still in character and within the fear of sharing myself as what I've walked, I in fact made sure that I won't step out of character and as such, will have nothing to explain and the truth is that I have not changed in fact because if I had, I would stand no matter what.