Creating and Living in a supportive environment (part 2) - Day 506

Continuing from where I left off in my previous blog: Creating and Living in a supportive environment (part 1) - Day 505

"Creation is a process that will take time though, the potential exists for everyone. " in this blog, I will open up the point of this 'potential' and how can we stand by this potential when it comes to creating and living in a supportive environment.

To be able to create and live in a supportive environment, we first have to clearly define what supportive environment is or to be more specific, we need to define the word 'Support'. When I work with words, I like exploring the sound of the word and see what lie behind it. Here for instance, with the word 'Support', I found something very interesting:

Support = Sup(p)-Or-T. Have a look:
Sup: To provide
Or: Or (choice)
T: Choice, Junction
-----

Support = a decision that one is making in any given moment with regards to whether or not one would Provide/Give something to oneself or another. Now that the definition to the word Support is clear, the question is - how the word 'Support' is applied as an expression of ourselves within the principle of 'what is best for all'? Meaning, how the decision that we make in any given moment as an expression of ourselves  is practically applied within the context of deciding the direction that we would give to ourselves when it comes to providing/giving support to ourselves or another.

Here, 2 more principles must be considered:
1. Give as you would like to receive
2. Do onto another that which you would do onto you.

Obviously, when we look at these principle, what is important to understand and apply is the very basic living principle - Self Honesty. To understand the difference between Honesty and Self-Honesty please read the blog - The Correction Process and The Desteni Message (Part 8) - Day 205

So how Giving/Sharing/providing Support to another, combined with Self Honesty and the principle of Give as you would like to receive, do onto another that which you would do onto you come together as a living application/expression of oneself in one's creation of supportive environment?

It is to firstly realize that for me to grow and expand myself in this reality, I cannot accept and allow myself to be directed by my own mind but rather be stable and in each breath and look directly and the physical reality and direct myself accordingly. Obviously, this is a process that is to be lived and a lot of self support and support of another is needed for me/us to live this to our potential. This was a decision that I have made in how I want to create myself for/as myself - and for more context, please read - The Desteni of Living - My Declaration of Principle - Day 474

With this starting point and the potential that exists within ourselves (Realizing and living my utmost potential (Part 1) - Day 475) to change and become a living expression of Self-Honesty, Give as you would like to receive and do onto another that which you would do onto you, I see how these principles stand as an absolute necessity if we really want to create a change in this world in developing environments that are based on integrity, respect and harmony. Within this, the responsibility is firstly on ourselves, to support ourselves to become the potential that we can become through which we can then expand ourselves and assist and support our environment to become the potential that exist in any single one of us.

True, creating these types of supportive environment is easier if you already an environment with people who share your vision but even if you don't, the potential still exists because it exists in you and what you will create with yourself and support others to create for themselves. How?

If you live in an environment with people who are yet to be aware of their minds and our collective responsibility of creating a change in this world that is worth while, all you have to do is to firstly support yourself to change through which slowly but surely you will be standing as an example for your environment. From here, you will start seeing and assessing the nature of the support you will share with others in your environment until eventually they will stand as their own support which later they could potentially expand and stand as your pillar of support as well. What I mean by support here - the same support I would accept myself to give to myself, I will share with others in my environment. Therefore, I will very slowly, and with a lot of patience, start bringing these people into my reality in for example, when I see them participate in their mind and I walked a similar point, I will share with them my own process - what I realized for myself in relation to the point that they are facing, how I supported myself to change this point within myself and so forth.

Why it is so important to be patient when you develop and create a supportive environment for yourself?
When I first started my process, I kind of isolated myself from everyone in my environment - I believed they cannot understand me, that we cannot have a common ground to walk from and essentially, I destroyed every single relationship that I had at that time. Years later, when I realized that it was never about them; that supportive relationships cannot just manifest and if anything; that it was always about me and what I will accept and allow and what I will not, I started building, developing and creating new relationships with my old environment to a point of us being able to communicate effectively, support one another and be there for one another. This is something that is still in progress and will take a lot of time - it is a process of creation and creation takes time to be developed and how we make the best out of it is dependent solely on us - in what we accept and allow for ourselves, our environment and this world.

If you haven't already, I suggest reading through my blog series - The Desteni Message as that would give you a better context as to what I was looking at when writing this blog.

A year passed by - Day 481

Gian was mentioning the other day that when ever someone speak about Bernard, they speak about him in a present tense; and I was looking at this point for myself of how to me Bernard is still 'here' as the principles that he stood as and lived by - this, could  never die with him.

 

His death was a challenge to say the least - having to 'grow up' from Bernard's protective shell and finding my own feet within myself. Learning to trust myself, learning to direct and move myself, learning to develop communication skills that are based on support to one another, learning to live independently and yet interdependent with the people around me; learning to consider myself and others, learning to care for myself and others, learning to be patience with myself and others.

 

Bernard, in his presence, showed us the way and the tools to develop these potentials inside ourselves but it was up to us to stand up and walk these potentials, as principles for ourselves and each other. With his death, we had to make the ultimate decision of who we are and what we stand for though for and for us, there was never a question - we just stood and continued walking, together, with absolute support to one another.

 

Cerise mentioned today in her blog:

In order for us to really grow we had to step out from under the protection that Bernard gave us. It may not have been his intention to shelter us, but he did nonetheless. He would weather a storm if it meant another wouldn't have to. We got too comfortable in the safety and guidance he naturally gave out, we did not move ourselves. The only way that we could really stand up on our own was for him to die - we were not doing it on our own

 

Indeed - those who knew Bernard realized this point for themselves - that for us to grow and expand ourselves, he had to die as we didn't take the responsibility to stand up when he was alive - we were all hoping that we could find a ways to change without actively and physically changing ourselves.

 

Bernard's death in many ways showed us the consequences of when waiting for someone else to walk that which we have to walk ourselves. Realizing this now will not change the past but we can change the future where we no longer wait for consequences to manifest but instead we walk the prevention process as solutions that can be physically applied.

 

Therefore, I will not repeat the same mistake again in waiting for someone to pave the way for me instead of me paving the way for myself; I will not sit back and wait for the world to fix itself, I will become the solution myself. I will not wait until the world reaches the point of no return, I will stand up and create a future that is best for all.

 

So, in looking at the past year - what we have created together thus far and whom we have become - I am grateful for having Bernard in our lives and more so, I am grateful for the opportunity to walk with the people whom are walking with me. we have walked a long way and the road ahead is not an easy one to walk but I am certain that together we will pave the way to create future that is worth living. If anything, this was what Bernard showed us in his death.

Seeing the Potential we can become - Day 407

 

Bernard had this ability to see the potential in others, to guide and support us to see ourselves, the real self; he assisted us to see our strengths, develop/empower our natural skills and to overcome the limitations we have defined as ourselves so that we could really grow and establish our self standing  within the principle of that which is best for all life. 

Bernard stood as a temporary stability point for us all and in standing as our stability point he gave us the opportunity to investigate, explore and see who we are and what we have become, what we accepted and allowed and what we will no longer accept within ourselves and this world, how can we perfect ourselves, how can we change ourselves to stand as living examples, as a principle, of that which is best for all life.

When he died, I could no longer lean on Bernard as a stability point; I have to stand as a stability point. I could no longer wait till he expose a point within myself that I haven't dealt with; I have to expose me to myself and walk through the point. I could no longer be dependent on him as a point of trust; I must become a living trust. I could no longer depend on him to support me and others; I must stand as self-support and thus supporting others.

When he died, the stability point he stood as for me that I created within myself - died with him and in that moment, I shifted into instability within and as myself. To understand though, that I am by no means saying that ‘he stood as stability FOR me’, no. For those who have met Bernard, when you’re with him – it’s like he could with/through his words, open up inside you a part of you, you haven’t realized yourself/seen yourself as a potential that you can be/become. I hadn’t realized before he died how I had, within myself, believed that ‘it was Bernard and Bernard only keeping me stable’ – when, all the while, it was in fact a point already existent within me, a potential already existent within me. Then I realized - the stability that I had seen within Bernard and also experienced within myself when with him - stood as a potential; the stability I experienced when Bernard was around is the stability I can stand as, for and as myself - it is what I can become through an accumulation of moment by moment where I direct and support myself to face that which I have separated myself from, correct, align, change - which is actually what Bernard always said: 1+1+1+1 moment by moment by moment by moment, till I stand.

He said to me once: there will be a moment where a window would open and you will be able to see and make a decision; Make sure that the decision is that which add +1 to the equality equation and that which would result with an outcome that is best for all. The window that had opened up with Bernard's death is showing the potential. The potential of what I can become as a stable and aware human being in any given moment. Bernard temporarily stood as that stability and showed me, that I can stand in stability and in awareness in every breath and thus I commit myself to assist and support myself to accumulate moments of awareness and stability until I stand in any given moment as a living principle, a living example and to then thus give to others that which Bernard gave to me - the opportunity to realize the potential we can become.

Who is the Judge? - Day 224

You know when we walk down the street and we see people staring at us as we go by and all of a sudden we will start feeling insecure within and as ourselves and would start having this roller-coaster of thoughts regarding this point like: why are they staring at me? Is it something that I am wearing? Is it how I'm dressed? Is there something wrong with my hair? Do I look fat today? Fuck, why they are judging me?

 

Then we would start playing with our hair, and our clothes, checking that everything is in place and be very much conscious about our movements, the way we walk, how the hair looks like, how our clothes look like.

 

Or you know, when we write a blog post and we do not get any comment on our blog or no one is sharing our blog on face book, we would then start thinking: Maybe I'm not good enough? Maybe my writings wasn't good enough? Why does nobody like reading my blogs? I hope they don't think that I'm unworthy and thus won't ever read my blog? maybe I should write something else to make people want to read my blog? How could I present myself perfectly through my writings so that others could validate me? Is there a way I could change my words to be more presentable?

 

Or let's say that we are in a social gathering and everyone there are telling jokes and stories and then I find something within and as myself to share with others but when I speak it, it doesn't sound as interesting or funny like I assumed it would. Everyone is now quiet and not really getting what I was saying and then I'm like: Shit, they would now think that I'm boring, or weird, they wouldn't want to spend time with me anymore, how can I make sure that next time that I speak, they would like me or think that I'm a funny person and thus would want to spend more time in my presence?

 

Ok, so I can continue all day in giving examples of moments where we perceive our social external environment to judge us as off, boring, weird, unworthy, not good enough, disliked; but I think you got the point. :-)

 

Now, is it really that others judge us or is it more us judging ourselves through making an assumption that others are judging us; and also, even if they do judge us, is it only them who judge us or is there a part of us that judges ourselves which manifest our reactions of feeling inadequate?

 

Within the first example, in walking down the street and believing that people are staring at me, and thus, immediately going into reaction as if I did something wrong or that I look bad and within that, start plotting the scene for how I would change the way I look/walk to present myself as perfect so that others won't negatively judge me or won't have a reason to negatively judge me - The funny thing is that, sometimes, when I think that people are staring at me, and if these train of thoughts start coming up within me, I wouldn't even consider to check if there is something behind me that people are actually looking at. Like: Is there anything that is attracting their attention that I've not seen myself because I've immediately accessed the reaction within myself where I would react to the perception that they are judging me and I wouldn't see anything beyond the veil of my own fear of being judged. Lol

 

But anyway - the point is this - when we slow ourselves down, we would see in self honesty that regardless of what others think about us (judging or not judging), the fact that we are reacting indicate that there is a hidden self judgment point within and as ourselves that we haven't sorted out yet.

 

Also, another point to look at is - if we fear that other people would judge our appearance when walking down the street for instance, in self honesty we would react because we know within and as ourselves that we are doing the exact same thing - we are judging other people's appearance as well.

 

There was an old YouTube video that I liked, which describe this point very nicely; it was something like -

 

We are walking down the street and see a guy that is dressed with weird clothes, like, he is wearing a clown hat, and cowboy shirt and Pyjama pants and he is smiling and singing to himself. This entire scene makes us stop for a moment because we are not used to this type of expression and within us, we would then start thinking: "what is wrong with his man? Is he not aware of what he is wearing? Doesn’t he care about what people would think about him? didn't he look in the mirror before he left the house? I mean seriously, what is wrong with this guy?"

 

What we haven't considered in such moments are ourselves, and our own self judgement towards ourselves in relation to our expression. We are so blind to the society codes of dressing for instance that we would never allow ourselves to dress in a certain way that would not suit our environment. Within this, we haven't considered that this guy, that we have just judged, may be stable within himself, that this is how he had decided to express himself because he doesn't care about other peoples’ judgements, as he is certain about who he is in every single moment. I mean, why wouldn't we allow ourselves to express ourselves as who we are without being conditioned by Morality or Society codes? Why do we place so much value on how others would see us? because we KNOW, within and as ourselves that we are the Evil ones, we know that we are the ones that would judge other people if they aren’t standing in alignment to the Morality/Society codes and within that, we wouldn't dare placing ourselves in a position that might cause a friction and conflict in other people's mind as them judging us as our expression.

 

With the writing blogs example - one must remember that our writings is FOR OURSELVES and as ourselves. Our writing is to assist and support us in getting to know ourselves, what we have accepted and allowed, our responsibility within and as that which we have deliberately accepted and allowed in self interest and accordingly assist and support ourselves in aligning us back to ourselves within and as the principle of what is best for all. Our writing is not a contest that we must win, it is not to be validated and worshiped by others, it is for ourselves within seeing, realizing and understanding the importance of writings and how through writing, we are able to practically assist and support ourselves in seeing and changing ourselves for real.

 

Thus, when we start thinking about other people, and how they would see/judge our writings and accordingly, change and alter the way we express ourselves - we are not really writing, we are not really doing it for ourselves but to impress others for various reasons such as: feeling as part of the group, being validated within the group, expecting to be seen as more by others and so on. Within that, instead of facing the point that we are the ones that judge ourselves, investigate the nature of the judgement, why did we accept and allow ourselves to judge our writings for instance, we would either stop writing or we would write from a separated starting point that do not take into consideration ourselves and the process that we walk in assisting and supporting ourselves and as ourselves.

 

Also, if we fear that others are judging our writings, it indicate and imply that we are judging other people writing and as such, fear that others would do to us what we do to others.

 

So - here are some points to look at and considered within and as ourselves regarding judgement, self judgement and fear of being judged.