The relationship between Hope and Depression - Mind Reality Vs. Physical reality - Day 500

The relationship between Hope and Depression - Mind Reality Vs. Physical reality - Day 500

http://mayaprocess.blogspot.com/2014/12/the-relationship-between-hope-and_30.html

For context, please read my previous blog - The relationship between Hope and Depression (introduction) - Day 499

Within my investigation of the design of Depression and it's relationship to Hope, I have found two primary dimensions inside of myself - 

1. The belief that certain self-expressions that came out of me during the relationship can only be expressed within the same relationship structure.
2. Not wanting to face physical reality, self-responsibilities and self-honesty within the realization that primarily, the relationship was always on a mind level and not really on a physical level.

So what does it mean Mind Reality Vs. Physical Reality and what is its relationship to depression and hope?

The mind reality within the concept of relationship is when everything seems to be so good, it is the honeymoon phase where positive energy is the relationship's directive principle and this positive energy is sustain because everything feels so happy and good all of the time. It is when one believe that they found that which they were looking for and the partner they are walking with fits entirely with the profile of what one had wanted for oneself. It is when self-honesty doesn't yet existent and both are presenting only the parts of themselves that would attract the other partner, the good parts that will make the other partner want to be with them. It is the phase where one, for a moment, can let go of one's physical reality's responsibilities and indulge in an experience of 'falling in love', not really conceptualize that we are actually falling, falling into the deep realm of the mind and energy instead of creating a relationship that is based on real physical support and worth where the two are expanding and growing themselves with the support of the other.

During this phase, where the positive energy is very much in the front of the relationship, the partners start to project  all these ideas and thoughts and future plans onto each other, and the relationship is primarily build on a mind level fueled with a lot of positive energy that the partners keep generating with one another.

At some stage, the energy starts to fade away and the physical reality kicks in where one or both partners starting to question the relationship and really look practically at the relationship and the future of the relationship.

With me and the relationship that I was walking with another many years ago, I was stuck for a long time on the mind reality of the relationship while my partner started to come down to the physical reality, looking at what we have created and whether we could practically walk this life together in terms of where him and I was at. Practically, we were coming from two different worlds where he had ambitions that he wanted to follow through with and I were at a stage in my life where I did not see anything but us being together all of the time. So while I believed that we are absolutely synchronize within what we want to create for ourselves as a mind relationship, he was already starting to look at the practicality of things which was misaligned with the future plans that we have created while on Positive energy during the honeymoon phase. The problem here obviously was that he didn't know how to communicate these points with me so I was completely in the dark as to where he was at - his physical application and what he was looking at inside of him where not equal and one meaning - he continued participating with me on a mind level while being in conflict with himself and I had no idea that he was looking at all of these things until it was already too late.

When I started coming down of the mind reality and looked at what is it that I wanted for myself and what is it that I will accept and allow and what will I not, I stood up when I saw misalignment with him making a decision that I saw as disrespectful and inconsiderate towards me. Though, while he was in the physical reality for quite some time and I only started coming back, in the first moment I showed dissatisfaction from where we were at, he used this window of opportunity to give up on the relationship and end it, justifying that I need and deserve more than what he was able to give me. Though, I wasn't yet completely in the physical reality and was not ready to give up on the mind reality and therefore, couldn't accept the end of the relationship as within me, for the most part, everything between us was still super awesome except of this one small misalignment that we need to look at and walk solutions.

So in being primarily in the mind relationship reality, I was consistently bouncing back to everything that was good with the relationship, holding on to these memories and moments within the positive energy, believing that that was real, that it was the potential of the relationship that I still wanted to live and experience. While the mind reality no longer met the physical reality as we were already not walking a relationship together, I still believed the mind reality more which is where the 'hope' dimension came in, trying to get ourselves back to the mind reality relationship where I used to feel happy and satisfied. I couldn't understand why the mind reality isn't manifesting in the physical reality and within that, couldn't let go of the mind reality that I was busy creating for months. Meaning, in my mind reality, the relationship that we walked was real, the future projection that we planned for ourselves was real, the life that we planned to create for ourselves was real and within that, the hope that everything will go back to where it was, was very much real.

I couldn't understand what happened and why we were no longer together because I experienced all these feelings that I believed to be real and mutual, not understanding that all of that just happened in our minds which is why I couldn't let go of the hope that one day, somehow, we will be together again.

Within that process of hope, I went into a vicious cycle that lasted for years where in the mind I believed that the relationship was real and was hoping for a second chance and every time the physical reality didn't meet with the mind reality, I went into depression and as I was in depression, the mind reality kicked in again as hope, that led to depression and so on.

What did I learn about myself over the years of walking process - the honeymoon phase consists of many layers of programming on all levels of the mind and if I am not aware of the programming that are involved, I will follow through the preprogram design and fall into the energy that it consists of. I made the same mistake again recently where I went into the mind reality too fast too soon but this time, I was aware of what I was doing but consciously choosing to indulge in this energy that I haven't experienced for years. Though, what I haven't done to support myself was to ground myself while walking through these preprograming designs to ensure that I remain here, stable, consistent in my living application as who I am, what I stand for and what is it that I self honestly want to create for myself. Within that, I lost ground with myself and the physical reality instead of preparing myself to when the partner is coming down of his mind reality which is when we can actually start walking a relationship together that is based on real physical and practical principles.

So when the partner came down of his mind reality, I wasn't ready and prepared and I tried to keep for just one more moment the mind reality. Then, when I finally was willing to face the physical reality and take responsibility for the mind reality that I was busy creating, the partner wasn't in alignment with where I was at in wanting to start over and walk the relationship properly which was when I saw myself going into the hope dimension all over again.

Only that this time, it was unacceptable for me as I knew where this hope will take me and I understood what this hope design was all about. Within that I could see in self honesty that in essence, we actually didn't walked a relationship with one another, we walked a mind relationship with ourselves, superimposing the relationship onto another and thus, we could not really start over as there was no real and solid foundation to move from.

This doesn't take the fact that every so often, the mind comes up and bring the hope dimension based on the mind reality memories and experiences that we shared for a moment - this is where self-honesty is my directive principle where I support myself to ground myself in the physical reality, seeing things for what it really is and stop immediately my participation with hope.

It is important to not judge oneself when 'hope' comes up as feelings, emotions or thoughts - understand that while being in the mind reality, a lot of energy was used and for the energy to absolutely stop, it will take some physical moments for me to completely stop participation until the energy fades away. I am actually grateful for the experiences even though it is not easy ones to walk as there are a lot of programming that are coming out for me to face. Though - I learned a lot about my own programming and how to support and ground myself to be able to create effective relationships with myself primarily and with another as well.

So if you are willing to learn from my mistakes, when you meet someone, make sure you are still grounded inside yourself and in touch with the physical reality. It is ok to allow yourself to experience the initial phase of the honeymoon though you must be aware of that which you are participating with and prepare yourself and your partner to when the honeymoon phase is over and the real relationship creation and development starts when both partners come down of the mind reality, back into the physical reality.

In the next blog, I will be focusing on self expression and the belief that certain self expressions can only be expressed with a specific partner and how this belief is actually the attempt of the hope energy to continue existing in the mind reality.

---

David Smith Artwork 'Woman reflecting focus', 2013. Acrylic Painting. Glamor.

The relationship between Hope and Depression (introduction) - Day 499

Long long time ago, I faced a break-up with a partner whom I believed to be the 'One'. I didn't handle the break-up very well and went into a long time-loop of depression that lasted for years. I didn't understand the source of the depression until recently. In fact, back then, I justified the existence of depression inside of me by believing that time will cure that which I experienced however recent events forced me to look again at the depression dynamic and what I found within that was 'hope' at the other side of the polarity.

To explain the design of Depression and Hope, I will use the break-up example that I faced long time ago - There was a part of me who couldn't accept it was done/over - a part where I hoped that something would change and we would be together again. During the first 6 months after the break-up, I experienced myself within a deep depression - hoping to find ways to turn the wheels and get us back together again. For example, on my birthday, I invited my friends to a bar that I went with my Ex-partner one night; a bar that my Ex-partner and I created positive experiences together. I remember how in the mind I was hoping that my Ex-partner will show up to my birthday party and give me the best birthday present - himself.

It is interesting to see now how even though I knew he would not come, I still held onto a slight which manifested as intense depression experience. So when the party was about to be done and my Ex-partner didn't show up, and physical reality knocked on my door - extreme sadness and depression possessed me.

I remember how I allowed this image in my mind to exists - it felt so good for a moment and I just wanted to indulge in this experience of hope that he would show up to my birthday. With me indulging in the positive mind experience of hope, I took myself away, for just a moment, from the depression that I was consistently experiencing - but what I haven't considered was - the longer I stood with 'hope' inside of me, the longer I went into the depression cycle when the mind reality and the physical reality didn't manifest the same outcome.

After 6 months, I decided that I must be more directive so I drove down to see him, hoping that when he see me, all the good/positive memories will come back to him and from there, we would again be together. For a moment, that actually what happened - it felt like my dream came through and we are going to be together again. We talked for hours and decided to take it one step at a time and see where we will be heading BUT - he was already scheduled to leave the country for 2 months and he asked that we will see where we are at once he comes back. For more context, this was in a time where internet was not accessible enough to maintaining consistent overseas relationship so in other words, our relationship faced the separation challenges where we were not involved in each other lives for 2 months.

Again, hope was my directive principle and I didn't read the physical reality correctly - in his mind, we were not together and we could see other people during these 2 months and if we were both single when he was back,  we could reassess whether we still want to walk a relationship together. In my mind, we are together though, we are allowed to see other people and when he comes back, there was no doubt about the relationship. What contributed to this hope/belief was when we met once again before he left the country and with a little bit of alcohol, I believed that the 'truth' came out where he started crying and tolf me how sorry he was for breaking up with me, how much he loved me and so forth. 

On many levels I did understand what is it that I am allowing within that decision of only reassessing where we are when he was back but to me, I was clear in how I saw the point as even if I meet someone during these 2 months, it won't override what I felt about him, it will not take away my hope of us going back  together. And so, when I did meet someone, I only took it to a point of playing and having fun with each other but nothing more serious than that. Though at the same time, when he met someone overseas, he created a relationship with another that was strong enough to let me go inside of himself.

Not knowing that he already was in a serious relationship during his overseas period, I was planning to make international call on his birthday as an excuse to talk to him, hear his voice and feel him. My anticipation and excitement about this call was massive, also because our first kiss was on his birthday so it was 'meaningful day' in how I made it in my mind. 10 seconds after I made the call, I knew that something was off with him - he already was in a relationship and me, as the hope that I was carrying inside of me, crushed.

This was supposed to be the point where the 'hope' could no longer exists inside of me but interestingly enough, it sure did. For years I hoped that one day he will wake up and realize he had made a mistake and I will be waiting with open harms to forgive him and continue our path together. Here you must understand that I didn't see myself carrying 'hope' per say - all I could see and experience was 'justified' depression. Meaning, I wasn't so conscious about the Hope and I didn't see how I am directing my reality according to this hope and how much of this hope contributed to my depression.

Within this 'unseen hope and the justified depression', I sabotaged any form of worthwhile relationships with other people. Both with new potential partners and with old friends who couldn't understand what I was going through and I couldn't handle them not accepting the depression I was experiencing to the extent of removing these friends from my reality.

With potential partners - I unconsciously wanted to be available for when the Ex was ready to come back together. Meaning, I didn't allow myself to commit to any other partner as that would mean that the Ex and myself will never be together. All this time I thought that I didn't want to face a lose again and that was why I didn't want to commit to any relationship but in self honesty I am seeing now that it was the 'hope' that I didn't want to let go for a very long time.

Looking at myself back then, I cannot say that I didn't see the 'hope' dimension at all - the hope was there in my living application and the choices that I have made; for example, I consciously hooked up with celebrities, hoping to be seen in the gossip section of the newspaper so that the Ex would see and get jealous and run back to me.

Unfortunately, I did not have the tools that I have today to truly introspect and investigate that which I was doing to myself. After a few years, I found the power inside of me to delete him from my world - no phone number, no FaceBook, no going out to where I may see him. That was the first step but With the depression being an accepted state of mind, I gave up on relationships for almost a decade inside of myself, just because I didn't understand how to support myself to let go of the depression through letting go of the hope.

These days, I am facing the same point again but within self-empowered view where I do not accept and allow myself to linger into emotions and feelings that do not stand equal and one with who I am today as the path that I've walked in developing self-worth, self-trust and understanding of myself. These days, I will not just wait for time to cure me, I am taking full responsibility for playouts in my life and accordingly, I learn from the experiences that I am facing, getting to know parts of myself that I haven't seen before and thus, self-empowering myself to not make the same mistakes again as one thing is clear - I can never lose myself again, I am always here. 

So here was some examples of how the Hope-Depression polarity played out in my life and in the next blog I will be focusing more on how and why do we hold onto 'Hope'? Why can't we let go of the Hope? 

I will be sharing about 2 dimensions that I have found for myself so far:

1. The belief that certain self-expressions that came out of me during the relationship can only be expressed within the same relationship structure.
2. Not wanting to face physical reality, self-responsibilities and self-honesty within the realization that primarily, the relationship was always on a mind level and not really on a physical level.

And later on, I will also share practical assistance and support of how to stop the Hope/Depression cycle within ourselves and allow ourselves to just be, explore and live.

Who is Responsible for our Children's Education - Day 332

 

 

We send our children to school with great trust in the Effectiveness of the Education System; we let them leave the Home Environment, their Caring nests, and start their independent Life path. We Hope they will become an effective human beings, that they will succeed in Life and become something to be proud of.

 

So we innocently shift our Responsibility as Parents towards the Education System, towards the Teachers, the Principles and the Government that supposed to Moderate, Review and Enhance the Children; We see it as Natural part of the Child Development and we have never questioned the validity of our decision to send our children to school because it's Normal, everyone does that right?

 

We believe that School will prepare our Children for their Future but Does it really? Were we prepared for our future? Was our Education met with the Physical reality we faced after our graduation? Were we Prepared for the Daily struggle of Survival within this world system?

 

Then, what makes us Believe and Trust the Current Education System with our children? And if we cannot trust the Current Education System, Who or What can we trust?

 

First thing first: I will show you that you cannot trust the current education system within the next blog series to come because what I've realized for myself was that unless I can see clearly the problems, I won't be able to compute, comprehend and see the solution.

 

So stay here as we walk our Processes of Establishing a solution for the Future of our children.

 

 

Blind Spot and Deceiving Hope - Day 255

I always stopped myself from watching Documentary because I believed that I must have knowledge and information regarding the History of Humanity which I perceived myself as lacking and incapable of learning and educate myself and thus, the Common Belief I held within myself was that watching Documentaries that are based on History is useless because I won't get it anyway.

 

It was very recently that I pushed through the point of resistance and gave myself the Gift of Real Time Education where I could not only start adding the dots in the History of Humanity but also Learn much of the unspoken truth regarding the world and within that, our lack of responsibility that had lead to this manifestation that we call 'Life on Earth'. Only through the Education Process I set forth for myself I had realized that unless we correct what we have created, we stand no chance.

 

Like me, there are Million or even Billion people that have access to Real Education that is shared unconditionally. Real Education meaning - not the Education one learns at School. This type of education is very much Bias, Limited and of the interest of those who are in Power. But again, you don't have to believe what I say here - investigate it for yourself - Is anything you learn at school was in any way Practical? Did it open your horizons in becoming an effective human being in this world?

Within that context, I suggest watching the 'COLLEGE CONSPIRACY' Documentary that explain in detail the forces that are involved in the current Education System and why the Education System around the world is inadequate, impractical and in no way exists to Empower, Grow and Expand the Human Race.

 

Last week I watched the Documentary - Blind Spot which for a moment, activated some Fears and Reactions within me however, when I stepped out of my Pre-Program design of Reacting instead of Preventing, I've realized that literally, if we continue reacting and only sort out the manifested consequences only after it had already manifested to a point of no return, there is no way we will make it. Well, maybe we will, but the generation to come will most certainly not.

 

The reason why we would not investigate the Problems in this world and move to a Principle of Prevention instead of Reaction is due to the inherent Design of HOPE that is based on our Self Interest.

It’s funny that We all say that we care for our children, that our children are our world and yet, we do nothing to ensure that the Life of our children and their Children will be Certain, safe and sound from the perspective stabilizing Earth for them to have a world to live in. It is interesting that we believe that our Love for our children comes down to making sure that their life will be safe as long as WE live; as long as we Exists; because really, what we want to define ourselves as is in being Good and Loving Parents and yet, we do not care at all, about the Lives of our grandchildren and their grandchildren because the Physical Evidence is showing that we are living in a doomed Earth that unless we do something NOW to make sure Earth will Remain, there would be no Life on Earth on 90-200 years from now.

 

Hope is a very interesting Design - it is a BLIND Participation within and on this Earth, within the comfortable belief that everything will be fine and we will find a solution for what ever may occur because thus far, we survived like this - there was always a person or a group of beings that found a solution for the problem that had manifested and this is why, I'm not worried about anything, it will be ok. But will it be ok? What if there is a point where there is no way of fixing the problem any more? What if our grandchildren will live in a world where fossil fuel will be no more, where food would not be accessible, maintained and sustained? Why is it that despite of the Scientific evidence that we are heading towards the end of Fossil Fuel in this world, where alternative energies will not sustain and be enough to our current life style, we sit and do nothing? Hoping and depending on Science to bring the solution while Science already came and presented solutions - but we do not want to listen to the solution in the nature of Prevention because that would mean that we will have to change - change the way we consume, the way we live, the way we enjoy our life style.

 

Hope is also sound like Help - Always hoping for someone or something to Help us, to Save us. When will we realize that no one is coming to save us? that there is no God, no UFO coming to save earth, No Jesus coming of a cloud, no Superman that will save the day - it is only us - we cannot continue ruin this earth and expect others to clean our mess - there is also no money in this world that would buy the renewal of earth because Money is one of the main reasons for the destruction of earth in the first place.

 

I suggest reading my blog: From Reaction to Prevention and Obviously, watch the documentaries listed below to have a better understanding of what really goes on underneath our nose. We have the solution, but we require you to stand with because unless you move, unless you change, no movement or change is possible. We are in this together, we have to take ourselves out of it together. There isn't any other way.

 

"Remember the world system is just a system of relationships. It only exists because of all the participants; so if the participants change, the world changes – it’s really simplistic. It’s an individual thing. That’s why one by one, everyone must change, to bring about a change in the world. And you have to actually change the relationships, so that the relationships that are formed between people, animals, environment, is what is best for all Life – really simplistic". Bernard Poolman

 

Blind Spot

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=pByCxG2dIWY

 

War on Democracy

http://johnpilger.com/videos/the-war-on-democracy

The Century of the Self: Part 1- Happiness Machines

http://youtu.be/prTarrgvkjo

 

The Power Principle

http://metanoia-films.org/the-power-principle/

 

The Trap

http://archive.org/details/AdamCurtis_TheTrap

 

Psywar

http://metanoia-films.org/psywar/ 

 

Human Resources: Social Engineering in the 20th Century

http://metanoia-films.org/human-resources/

 

Investigate Equal Money System - It is time to MOVE - Will you dare to care for REAL?

Can a world of Insanity be Normal? - Day 166

This is a continuation to:

Walking Breath by Breath - Part 1 - Day 160

Walking Breath by Breath - Part 2 - Day 161

Spiritualizing beings that had Died - Day 162

OMG, I'm so Special because I'm speaking with the Dead - Day 163

Cannot Conceptualize Equality in our Minds - Day 164

Coming Down to Earth - Part 1 - Day 165

 

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to Realize what NORMAL is and within that, had accepted and allowed myself to define this existence, the people, the mind, the suffering, the pain, etc. as Normal while the physical reality shows the exact opposite - that what we have defined as Normal thus far had result with INSANITY. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to attach/associate/define/connect to what should have been common sense understanding of what Normal is - Living Breath By Breath as the physical reality, directing and moving Self according to that which is best for all when and as one had will oneself to step out of one's mind - as some magical/divine powers; not seeing, realizing and understanding how I've separated myself from Normality through defining Normality within and as magical power so that I would NOT realize my own Power as the one who decide to walk as Normal as that which is best for all, breath by breath, step by step.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to align myself with society's definition to the word 'Normal' without ever questioning the definition in itself and thus, so blindly accepted a "Normal" world where people are fighting for their survival, dying from starvation, abusing themselves and each other by the name of "it is normal behaviour, it's human nature. I see now that 'Normal' is Norm-Al which means:

Norm=Principle

Al= in Hebrew it mean Superior/utmost.

Thus, Normal - is the utmost Principle.

We have thus far, regarding the utmost/superior principle that we live as and by within our self interest - disregarding anything and everyone and most often, ourselves as well.

When walking as the living word, within and as What is best for all - Normal is the Utmost/Superior Principle as that which is best for all. So to redefine the word Normal in alignment to what is best for all as a principle - Is walking through, by and as  a principle that is best for all in every breath, in every step.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to Define the existence of thoughts, reactions, emotions, feelings, desires, etc. as Normal because everyone else existing with and as thoughts, reactions, emotions, feelings, desires, etc. and to justify my acceptance and allowance of these components, I've stated that it's the Human Nature and accordingly, it's Normal. In this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that by accepting Normal as human nature striving for our self interest desires, I've accepted and allowed a world of abuse and suffering, where wars are justified, where Education is not accessible for all, where the unconditional earth resources has been privatized and only if you have money, you can get access to it. We are living in a "Normal world" but all around us are Insane human beings that cannot see and conceptualized Equality as a simple principles:  Love your neighbour as yourself and give as you'd like to receive

 

Coming Down to Earth - Part 1 - Day 165

This is a continuation to:

Walking Breath by Breath - Part 1 - Day 160

Walking Breath by Breath - Part 2 - Day 161

Spiritualizing beings that had Died - Day 162

OMG, I'm so Special because I'm speaking with the Dead - Day 163

Cannot Conceptualize Equality in our Minds - Day 164

 

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to follow the dream I had about my grandfather dying and instead of investigating the nature of the dream, how dreams works and functions, why are we dreaming and what happened to my physical body when I dream, I have blindly interpreted the dream as if I was some kind of special because I could sense my grandfather presences, sense his death and be connected with him while others couldn't and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility to investigate my emotions and feelings, my starting point in accepting and allowing the emotions and feelings as myself, only because it give me some sort of powers, specialness and comfort, to sustain my own self interest desire to be MORE than everyone else.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to trust the dreams without investigating why and how we have dreams, who I am within the dreams and within that, why is it that dreams are existed while I'm sleeping wherein I am not consciously directing and moving myself within and as the dreams but rather, something else is moving and directing the dreams for me and from that perspective, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to take the existence of dreams for granted, as if this is normal because everyone dreams and I haven't taken the time to really investigate the point for myself to see the insanity of having dreams that are not direct and specific for me to utilize as a tool to assist and support myself in realizing myself but rather, accepting and allowing dreams to fuck with my reality, to form opinions and beliefs about is with not actual, physical ground to cross reference that which I perceive myself to understand within and as the dream.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to put so much emphasize regarding dreams and I haven't realized that if I require my mind to analyse and interpret the dreams, than it is best to let it go as I have no reference whether or not the point that I've seen is real or an illusion that I've created in my mind.

Note - 'Real' from the perspective of having physical cross reference as a principle that I accept and allow myself to live as best for all and 'Illusion' from the perspective of utilizing the mind to charge energy that would stand in alignment as my self interest desire for an experience.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create and establish an illusionary relationship with my grandfather as a coping mechanism to avoid facing my reality and in doing so, I haven't given myself the permission to stand, assist and support myself in directing and moving myself within and as my world and my reality and establishing an effective communication with physical human beings.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to develop and establish an illusionary communication with the dead because it made me feel protected, cared for and loved and I haven't seen, realized and understood that this communication is only happening within and as my mind and for this communication to exists, I must generate energy, enough to sustain my illusionary reality in my mind and therefor, I would go and seek for things that would charge the energy so that I could continue visiting my mind, be able to avoid the real and physical reality and when the energy dissolve and dissipate and accordingly, the communication can no longer exists, I would go and find resources to recharge myself to be able to again, utilize the energy to communicate with the dead.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand the relationship between my mind and the physical wherein, because I couldn't cope with the physical reality or to be more specific, didn't have specific and supportive tools to utilize in facing the physical reality, I found comfort in remaining in my mind, communicating with my dead grandfather, hoping that he would assist and support me in changing the course of my life instead of me, becoming stable within and as myself, standing up in self responsibility and directing myself and my world within and as the principle of that which is best for all.

 

I realize that within the tendency of trying to analyse and interpreted a dream within the starting point of self interest desire to be defined myself as worthy, important, unique and special - the outcome would never be that which is best for all. And thus, I commit myself to - when and as I have a dream which I perceive to be so significant that I must get answers, and I must analyse the dream and find out what does it means - I stop, I breathe and clear myself from the energy possession through breathing and breathing and breathing and till I again stand clear and stable within and as myself.

Once I'm clear and stable within myself, I assess my starting point that initiated/triggered the energy possession of: "I must analyse and understand the dream, I must get answers". As I see within and as myself that the dimension of the character that I've created within myself, I move through all the dimensions.

When that point is clear, I move to the next point in assessing in self honesty whether or not this dream is relevant to that which I'm currently walking/facing/working through and if I could utilize the dream as a tool to assist and support myself in expanding further the points that I'm facing.

In that, I am not accepting and allowing myself to use my mind in the attempt of figuring out what the dreams means as I am only looking at the relevancy in terms of what practically I can assist and support myself within and through the dream.

 

I Commit myself to STOP placing so much value ad emphasize on dreams as if I'm receiving a divine message from the dead as I see, realize and understand that when and as I require my mind in understanding a point, it is no real self realization but most likely another mind fuck that I've accepted and allowed myself to participate with. In this, I extract from the dream only that which is obvious, clear and direct as a tool to assist and support myself in expanding myself. I see, realize and understand that there is nothing divine in dreams but quite to the contrary - when and as I'm not the directive principle in every moment of breath, what do I know? Oh oh, there is a problem, I'm not here and there is something else in separation of me that decides for me how to run my life  while I've been blindly giving my life force power away to be ran by a machine that present pictures, audio, images for me to preoccupy myself in it and in that, to never in fact, stand as the life/source/power, as the directive principle, in every moment of every breath.

 

I Commit myself to Show the relationship between fearing facing the physical reality `and the tendency to develop communication with the after life, as a coping mechanism that one is utilizing to assist and support oneself in avoiding one's reality and access one's mind where it is safe and sound because no one but self can be there.

 

In that, I commit myself to assist and support parents in having the require skills to assist and support their children in being capable and able to face and direct the reality and their mind in their relationship to the physical reality.

Cannot Conceptualize Equality in our Minds - Day 164

This is a continuation to:

Walking Breath by Breath - Part 1 - Day 160

Walking Breath by Breath - Part 2 - Day 161

Spiritualizing beings that had Died - Day 162

OMG, I'm so Special because I'm speaking with the Dead - Day 163

 

 

It is interesting how we give beings power to the extent of complete abdication of self responsibility.  I mean, even with Bernard, I have to keep reminding myself that he is not special and that he is a physical living human beings with no special powers and that the fact of the matter is that what he does, how he speaks how he lives is what is NORMAL however, I couldn't even conceptualized that NORMAL is living by a principle of that which is best for all.

 

I mean none of us have a real understanding of what best for all implies because if we had, we would not accept and allow ourselves to exists within and as an abusive world that is based on one's self interest for one's survival. Seriously, when I come to look at it - How we live, how we act, how we speak, react etc. that is not NORMAL - that is all automated reactions and behaviours that we have accepted and allowed within and as ourselves and it goes to the extent of which we cannot even SEE that Living Here, within and as the physical is what is NORMAL.

 

Like for example, we have defined as normal that our country doesn't really take care of us, that if one doesn't have enough money to invest in their children's education, it's ok, that's life - some times it good and some time it is not.  We have defined as normal that if something goes wrong in the other side of the world, we won't do anything about it because it isn't really bothering us, it is not our loved ones that we need to take care of. we have defined as normal that when  someone needs a kidney implant but one doesn't have money for a kidney, then one would die. We have accepted as normal that when one do not have medical insurance, one wouldn't get medical aid.

 

However, what IS normal is when everyone will get medical aid because they need it. everyone will have food on their table, because they need it. if I go across the world and require assistance or a place to sleep in, it is normal that someone will assisting me and take care of me because they can do that. That is NORMAL - life within equality and oneness is NORMAL but we cannot conceptualized that within our minds because our mind doesn't stand in alignment to that which is best for all. In that, there is nothing magical and powerful in walking as an example of that which is best for all, there is nothing special or powerful in walking with no Mind to direct and move oneself but rather, breath by breath self movement, Here, within and as the physical.

 

An interview that had assisted and supported me in opening up this point further is the Crucifixion of Jesus - Part 10.

 

What I'm seeing is that I've created throughout my life and specifically the spiritual phase was creating symbolism as to who one is when one is stepping out of one's mind. and in that, through spiritualizing the symbolism instead of walking and living as myself, that which was shown to me, I have perpetuated my own separation and in that, have not given myself the permission to practically and physically stand as equal to and one with the being that is walking as an example but instead, had gave the being powers (which I now see as simply Normal living application) within my own desire to be that special when I would also, walk and be done with my process. And being done with my process is also a point of separation because my process will not end until everyone's processes would end. But within me, all I had cared about is my own process, my own glorification within this process as the glorification that I've assign to Sunette and Bernard, my grandfather, Kryon, Guides and Angles.

 

Within this, instead of walking that which is shown to me, in very detailed and specific words, I've created them as something so MORE than me that if I could get it myself, I would be that MORE and others would see me as MORE and everything is but my own desire to always feel and be special; Instead of Practically, slow myself down, Hear and be Here, see their words within and as me and stand as them, equal, in simplicity so that I could assist and support myself and in that, assist and support others and in that - get the fuck out of our minds so that we could start LIVING within and as this physical reality, as NORMALS :-)

 

Ok, More to come.. Tomorrow.

OMG, I'm so Special because I'm speaking with the Dead - Day 163

This is a continuation to:

Walking Breath by Breath - Part 1 - Day 160

Walking Breath by Breath - Part 2 - Day 161

Spiritualizing beings that had Died - Day 162

 

When I had the dream about my grandfather lying on the metal silver bed, with a light on top of him, and I knew that he was dead - what was behind the dream? Where did I ever heard about such experience before, and if I haven't and it had emerged in the very first time, what was this dream all about? What did this dream gave me throughout my life in relationship with my grandfather in particular and all my relationships as a whole? And how through this dream, I've characterized myself from that moment onward?

 

Usually, when we do not understand something, we try to make sense out of it. the only way I could make sense of this dream was as if I've given a sign, as if my connection with my grandfather was so great that I was sensitive enough to see him in his death. In other words - I was special in my ability to sense my grandfather, I had a special relationship with my grandfather, more than anyone else, I was the special one, I was the chosen one, I was the favourite one.

 

Now, this happened long before 1998, when the connection between earth and the dimension was still open and fucking with one's life could easily be done. For more information regarding the relationship between heaven and earth before and after 1998 and before and after the Portal had opened, I suggest listening to the Journeys into the Afterlife interview series. 

What I have not realized until recently, that the dream was preprogrammed so that I could characterize myself as special through having the sensitive abilities which through that, I could remain special in my own mind, in my secret mind and create an illusionary reality that would be the foundation of my later on spiritual phase where I was almost completely fucked up if I wouldn't came across Desteni and could hear their message.

 

So obviously, I didn't question the nature of the Dream and my After Death Communication with my Dead grandfather because this entire experience gave me power, made me feel so absolute Special in comparison to my other family members, which was in essence, my own self interest desire for an experience that I could validate myself through, that I could worthy myself through and that I could empower myself through; only what I haven't realized was that the only thing that I've validated was my own mind, my own pre-programming that I've accepted and allowed myself to exists within and as.

 

Before and after my grandfather had died, the primary experience was of me being special, cared for and loved unconditionally by him and during my life, I was seeking and looking for these character that would give me the experience of being special, cared for and Loved unconditionally. Clearly, I wasn't able to conceptualized that I am here, regardless how others are giving me, or I never conceptualized what does it even means unconditional love and unconditional taken cared for in an existential level.

Later on, I have found more dead to spiritualize in my mind and that was when I became spiritual. All those powers and attributes that I've assign to them, in separation of me, gave me the experience of being so special. I mean, as a spiritual person, hearing the positive words in books and scripts was so powerful and divine. I was really sure that the divine Masters, Guides and Angles are taking care of me, are resonating through me, healing me and others as me. And again, I obviously didn't question their existence because why should I? I was so special in my own mind. it was the only place I could feel so loved and special and having a propose. What is interesting to see now is the polarized realities that I had within my mind where in for moments, I felt so divine and powerful and in the next moment, I was so alone, useless, unworthy and depressed. That in it self raise the question - are we all Schizophrenic in the context of the polarity that we exists as within and as our mind? the only difference is that l Schizophrenic beings had externalized their mind into words while the Normal being have the ability to filter their minds when it comes to speaking.

 

Ok, so I will continue tomorrow with How I've spiritualized Living beings in comparison to the dead. Thanks for reading.

The Elite's Delusion of Stress - Part 2 - Day 46

This is a continuation of 'The Elite's delusion of stress - Part 1 - Day 45' blog that I wrote yesterday.

In my previous blog, I was looking at my own point of becoming possessed with Stress and how I was the one who created the pattern as well as how I deceived myself within the belief that it takes a process to stop a pattern instead of realizing that the only valid process is a breath by breath process of stopping patterns one by one,  breath by breath.

Within this blog, I will look at the World system in relation to stress and show the relationship between stress and Money. I will refer to 2 types of stress. Mental Stress and Physical Stress.

Mental Stress -  An accumulation of energy within the thoughts/experience such as: "I don't have time", "I must get this on time", "if I won't be good at my job, I'll get fired", "OMG, my partner is going to end the relationship".

Physical Stress as a manifested consequence of a Mental Stress - In many cases of Mental stress, the accumulation of energy manifested stress on the human physical body which can cause discomfort, headache, heart failure and so one - this type of physical stress is the manifested consequences of a Mental stress.

Physical Stress - When the Human Physical Body doesn't get the requirement for an effective functioning, the body goes to stress and slowly but surely the body systems are weakening until eventually the systems can't function and thus being dies. That kind of physical stress is being experienced by 3.3 Bilion people in this world. 3.3 billion people who do not have food, water and physical support nutrition. 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to delude myself within the belief that I'm stressed and I haven't consider that the stress is energy experience that I've accumulated through the participation with the thought/experience of not having enough time/being pressured at work/I'm getting old/various other types of thoughts/experiences and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to refused to see that a physical stress that is actual and real is being experienced day in and day out by the majority of this world whom are starving which than cause stress on the human physical body.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to delude myself within the belief that I'm stressed and I haven't consider that the stress is energy experience that I've accumulated through the participation with the thought/experience of not having enough time/being pressured at work/I'm getting old/various other types of thoughts/experiences and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to refused to see that a physical stress that is actual and real is being experienced day in and day out by the majority of this world whom are starving which then cause stress on the human physical body.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to live in a world where mental stress is defined within the psychologists as normal behaviour and thus, when a Physical Stress as a manifested consequence of a Mental Stress emerge, is it managed within the starting point of treating the symptoms instead of the looking at the cause of the stress which is in most cases due to our dysfunctional world system.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that while we focus on managing the stress symptoms of Mental stress as well as Physical Stress as a manifested consequence of a Mental Stress, we have completely disregarded the Physical stress that 3.3 billion people in this world experiencing due to lack of nutrition, water and health care because all we cared about is our own survival in the world system and we have never stopped for a moment to look at the core/origin/source of the problem and addressed it with a practical solution such as Equal Money System

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed the discipline of phycology to define Mental Stress as a normal thing, within the justification and excuses that Stress is a factor that motivate humans to move themselves within the world system  and we haven't realized or considered Who one IS when stress is the directive principle and why is it that Self isn't the directive principle? why have we taken for granted that stress is normal? Is it possible to live without Stress? If not stress, what will motivate us to move ourselves? What is the cause of stress and can the cause be removed/changed? Is Stress is a disease that caused by the world money system? What is able to be done so that no one will ever experience stress again?

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to emphasize that the cause of the mental stress is due to one's external environment in separation of self and thus then, justified and blame one's environment instead of seeing and looking at the obvious - mental stress in most cases is in direct relationship with Money and thus, what is required to be done is to first change the world system to an Equal Life System where the fear of survival is no more and secondly, focus on re-education of the individuals from the perspective of teaching/showing/sharing tools to assist and support oneself to take responsibility for one's participation in one's mind/energy and thus, stop the energy generation and physically LIVE in every moment, breath by breath.

I forgive myself that I've haven't accepted and allowed myself to see that the cause of most of the Mental stress cased is in direct relationship with the Money System and instead of addressing the cause and changing the world system to a system that support all lives, We have addressed the affect of the world system through managing the stress that beings are experiencing.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the relationship between Money and Stress because if I would, I would do what ever is necessary to be done to sort out the cause of Mental stress as well as Physical Stress through changing the current money system to a system that support life.

I commit myself to push, direct and establish an Equal Money System in this world wherein one of the immediate affects will be the elimination of Stress - Mentally and Physically.

I commit myself to expose and show the discipline of the physiologists whom are busy with finding a quick fix to mental problems instead of addressing the real and actual cause of the problems which is in most cases in direct relationship with the current money system.

I commit myself to present a solution to a world where stress experience is no more within the establishment of an Equal Money System.

I commit myself to show that mental stress isn't normal and it is an experience that self is absolutely responsible for, through separating self from one external environment and I commit myself to show and explain in details how to assist and support oneself with deleting the energy accumulation of mental stress and support self to stand as the directive principle of oneself and one's world.

I commit myself to show and explain why stress isn't supportive and why it can't be utilize as a motivator for one's movement because the only thing that is valid is a breath by breath living application where self is the directive principle and not the external factors that moves/influences/control/enslaved oneself to one's own mind.

I commit myself to expose in detail the relationship between stress (Mental and Physical) and Money and to prove that the current Money system is the cause of most Stress cases and thus, within changing the cause of stress - changing the world system to a system that support lives, stress will not play a major rule in our lives.

I commit myself to be part of the development of a re-education programs to assist and support the humans to see and realize how, why and where we create mental stress and thus, present tools for a practical self change where stress is not a part of one's daily living application and one will become the directive principle of one's life without the influence and the control of the mind.