Sep 26, 2012 | By: A Woman

Coming Down to Earth - Part 1 - Day 165

This is a continuation to:

Walking Breath by Breath - Part 1 - Day 160

Walking Breath by Breath - Part 2 - Day 161

Spiritualizing beings that had Died - Day 162

OMG, I'm so Special because I'm speaking with the Dead - Day 163

Cannot Conceptualize Equality in our Minds - Day 164



I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to follow the dream I had about my grandfather dying and instead of investigating the nature of the dream, how dreams works and functions, why are we dreaming and what happened to my physical body when I dream, I have blindly interpreted the dream as if I was some kind of special because I could sense my grandfather presences, sense his death and be connected with him while others couldn't and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility to investigate my emotions and feelings, my starting point in accepting and allowing the emotions and feelings as myself, only because it give me some sort of powers, specialness and comfort, to sustain my own self interest desire to be MORE than everyone else.


I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to trust the dreams without investigating why and how we have dreams, who I am within the dreams and within that, why is it that dreams are existed while I'm sleeping wherein I am not consciously directing and moving myself within and as the dreams but rather, something else is moving and directing the dreams for me and from that perspective, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to take the existence of dreams for granted, as if this is normal because everyone dreams and I haven't taken the time to really investigate the point for myself to see the insanity of having dreams that are not direct and specific for me to utilize as a tool to assist and support myself in realizing myself but rather, accepting and allowing dreams to fuck with my reality, to form opinions and beliefs about is with not actual, physical ground to cross reference that which I perceive myself to understand within and as the dream.


I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to put so much emphasize regarding dreams and I haven't realized that if I require my mind to analyse and interpret the dreams, than it is best to let it go as I have no reference whether or not the point that I've seen is real or an illusion that I've created in my mind.

Note - 'Real' from the perspective of having physical cross reference as a principle that I accept and allow myself to live as best for all and 'Illusion' from the perspective of utilizing the mind to charge energy that would stand in alignment as my self interest desire for an experience.


I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create and establish an illusionary relationship with my grandfather as a coping mechanism to avoid facing my reality and in doing so, I haven't given myself the permission to stand, assist and support myself in directing and moving myself within and as my world and my reality and establishing an effective communication with physical human beings.


I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to develop and establish an illusionary communication with the dead because it made me feel protected, cared for and loved and I haven't seen, realized and understood that this communication is only happening within and as my mind and for this communication to exists, I must generate energy, enough to sustain my illusionary reality in my mind and therefor, I would go and seek for things that would charge the energy so that I could continue visiting my mind, be able to avoid the real and physical reality and when the energy dissolve and dissipate and accordingly, the communication can no longer exists, I would go and find resources to recharge myself to be able to again, utilize the energy to communicate with the dead.


I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand the relationship between my mind and the physical wherein, because I couldn't cope with the physical reality or to be more specific, didn't have specific and supportive tools to utilize in facing the physical reality, I found comfort in remaining in my mind, communicating with my dead grandfather, hoping that he would assist and support me in changing the course of my life instead of me, becoming stable within and as myself, standing up in self responsibility and directing myself and my world within and as the principle of that which is best for all.


I realize that within the tendency of trying to analyse and interpreted a dream within the starting point of self interest desire to be defined myself as worthy, important, unique and special - the outcome would never be that which is best for all. And thus, I commit myself to - when and as I have a dream which I perceive to be so significant that I must get answers, and I must analyse the dream and find out what does it means - I stop, I breathe and clear myself from the energy possession through breathing and breathing and breathing and till I again stand clear and stable within and as myself.

Once I'm clear and stable within myself, I assess my starting point that initiated/triggered the energy possession of: "I must analyse and understand the dream, I must get answers". As I see within and as myself that the dimension of the character that I've created within myself, I move through all the dimensions.

When that point is clear, I move to the next point in assessing in self honesty whether or not this dream is relevant to that which I'm currently walking/facing/working through and if I could utilize the dream as a tool to assist and support myself in expanding further the points that I'm facing.

In that, I am not accepting and allowing myself to use my mind in the attempt of figuring out what the dreams means as I am only looking at the relevancy in terms of what practically I can assist and support myself within and through the dream.


I Commit myself to STOP placing so much value ad emphasize on dreams as if I'm receiving a divine message from the dead as I see, realize and understand that when and as I require my mind in understanding a point, it is no real self realization but most likely another mind fuck that I've accepted and allowed myself to participate with. In this, I extract from the dream only that which is obvious, clear and direct as a tool to assist and support myself in expanding myself. I see, realize and understand that there is nothing divine in dreams but quite to the contrary - when and as I'm not the directive principle in every moment of breath, what do I know? Oh oh, there is a problem, I'm not here and there is something else in separation of me that decides for me how to run my life  while I've been blindly giving my life force power away to be ran by a machine that present pictures, audio, images for me to preoccupy myself in it and in that, to never in fact, stand as the life/source/power, as the directive principle, in every moment of every breath.


I Commit myself to Show the relationship between fearing facing the physical reality `and the tendency to develop communication with the after life, as a coping mechanism that one is utilizing to assist and support oneself in avoiding one's reality and access one's mind where it is safe and sound because no one but self can be there.


In that, I commit myself to assist and support parents in having the require skills to assist and support their children in being capable and able to face and direct the reality and their mind in their relationship to the physical reality.


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