Does your child really have a behaviour disorder? (Part 2) - Day 364

This is a continuation to Does your child really have a behaviour disorder? (Part 1) - Day 363 where the main question asked is: Who is Responsible for our Children's Education?

 

It is clear by now that most of the "psychological" problems that are now being qualified and identified as psychiatric problems that requires medication have nothing to do with the biology of the human physical body and thus, it is fair to assume that the problem isn't really the child's behaviour but rather the environment of the child and within that a dysfunctional education system and untrained parents that stand as an effective example for the child and yet again, instead of sorting out the core of the problem and prevent the problem from even manifesting, we jump into the quick fix solution by medicating the child and manipulating their parents that were never train to question the system, question the source of the problem but rather were trained to accept the flaws in the system and obey.

 

What has been defined as behaviour problems is a simple result of ineffective communication - the children that are eager to express themselves and have not yet developed an effective vocabulary to express themselves are behaving in ways that for us seems to be unacceptable because we judge that which we do not understand.

So, let's take an example of an ordinary events in a child's life and how it can influence the child's behaviour to a degree where the parents believe that there is something wrong with the child, without understanding how they are directly responsible for the child's "sudden" bad behaviour and therefore, with the belief that there is now something wrong with the child's behaviour, they will turn to the doctor that would very easily lable the child and may even medicate the child:

 

So, the child is young and the family owns a puppy. The mother throw a ball for the dog to catch and the dog catch the ball, very excited, bring the ball back so that the mom can throw the ball again which is what the mother obviously does because why not? It is a playful event. And while this is happening, the child is observing the event: the energies around, the mother expression, the dog expression and everyone are happy and having fun. Little do we know that in that very moment, what the child may also register in their mind as a memory is the movement made by the mother when she is throws the ball for the dog to catch. So now imagine for a moment what the movement can look like when the child do not have yet any previous knowledge or information regarding the implication of this playful event of throwing the ball. Yes, you guessed right, it does look like a arm going from the body, towards the skies, straightening up and going down. So from a child perspective that movement indicate a fun experience isn't it?

So now the child goes to the kindergarten and oooops, there is another kid playing with a ball that looks exactly like the ball the mother was playing with the dog just the other day. And now, a memory comes up and the kid may use their arm with a positive meaning attached to it however, the outcome may be very negative because now, the child hit the other child with the very same movement the mother did the other day when she playfully throw the ball for the dog to catch. And… the child is now showing "symptoms" of "wrongly" behaviour while all along, the child was sure that he was playing. But all the teachers in the kindergarten were reacting to the experience, and suddenly there is a total mess, children are crying, screaming and OMG, what just happen?? Oh, yes, we know, the child has behaviour problem.

 

So you see, we really do not know what innocent playful events can be interpreted by the child and we do not have the skills to make sure that every single input the child register is the input that would result with an output that is best for all and instead of investigating the cause of sudden "behaviour" problems, we react and immediately label the child as a violent child that requires medication to calm down.

 

More to come in the next blog.

Where did my Child learn to Behave like that? - Day 338

Continuing with the Question Who is Responsible for our Children's Education?

If you haven't already, I suggest reading through the previous blogs:

 

Who is Responsible for our Children's Education? - Day 332

Is the Zoo an Educational Experience for Children - Day 333

The Santa Claus Conspiracy - Can a Child Trust their Parents? - Day 334

Rejection as Parental Control? - Day 335

Rejections as Parental Authority - Day 336

Does the Education system Prepare the Children to Face the World - Day 337

 

 

In relation to the blog post: Rejections as Parental Authority - Day 336 - a few points to clarify as indicated in the following feedback I received from a friend who is a mother to a 2 years old boy:

 

"Maya I'm thinking constantly of the point of saying no to your child, and I felt quite bad, many times, when I had to say no. and I also think that a no without any explanation is wrong, but at a certain age the child does not understand what you are talking about and it seems to be better for parent and child if the little one just accepts the word NO. with 2 years my son is still not able to understand why he should not do something, like hitting the cat or dog. or throwing things at them, just cause it seems fun. and we never taught him to do so, he is not watching TV at all - seems like he is just trying things out. so I stopped explaining to him and simply tell him to stop/NO. if he doesn't stop I remove him from the place and put him into his room, at this point he is crying like hell. after a while he stops and comes out of the room. and this can happen again and again. it's really hard sometimes. I also respect his NO, I don't force him to drink or eat something if he says no.

you see, there is a point when you as a parent can make things even more worse with the explaining. the clear word NO and the action afterwards showing the child "this is not OK" by removing it from the place is in this kind of situation better. but that is my experience right now. I hope he will start to understand explanations soon, because LOL, I desperately want to explain him the world."

 

First of all, I'm grateful for this comment as it allowed me to realize that I've not walked this point effectively in showing the problem and  solutions that can be applied.

 

Secondly and more importantly, Please do not judge or feel guilty when reading these blogs because remember, while almost everything in this world requires a licence, parenting doesn't and non of us were ever prepared to walk such responsibility to the best of our ability. So here, I suggest to transform the inner judgement or guilt or feeling bad to a window of opportunity to look at things in different ways and accordingly, investigate and explore these points for oneself. Then, if the point isn't clear, let's discuss it again until we find the ultimate solutions that all of us can applied with ourselves and with our children.

 

Within this blog, I would specifically look at the question: where such behaviour, as was described by the mother above, are coming from and specifically when the TV isn't part in one's behaviour development since without TV, it would give us a clearer seeing of the 'time line' or the 'causes and affects', 'actions and responses' to see, realize and understand not only our children's behaviours but ourselves as well.

 

And before I start, let me emphasize again how crucial it is for every parent to invest in the Interview Series: Parenting - Perfecting the Human Race to be able to grasp the Quantum Mechanics involved within the Child Natural Learning Abilities from age 0-7.

 

So let's start - Let's take an example of a child that was never exposed at home to the Media, is only 2 years old and yet, picked up Behavioural components such as throwing stuff on pets or hitting them.

The child does not understand the difference between Playfulness and Harmfulness and in away, is innocence within their expression. There is no grudge or spite involves; there is no direct intention to do harm onto another and the child also does not have the words/vocabulary to understand the meaning of: "do not harm another".

 

So from where did the child pick up these behaviours that in time turned to be an harmful behaviours towards another? Let's have a look at the pattern of throwing stuff on pets. Now, let's place ourselves in the shoes of a 2 years old child and trace back our first impression where something was flying in the air towards us? What was that? It could be for example a little ball that a huge person, which later you were taught it was our parent, was throwing towards us and it hit our belly because we didn't know that we were supposed to catch the ball with our hands? And this huge person who kept on throwing the ball towards us was so happy in their expression that we have interpreted that experience into a simple equation: Throwing an object towards another = playful experience.

So from a child perspective, throwing stuff on the pet is a playful experience according to the data base of memories the child stored within and as themselves. From the child perspective, the pet's response would be equal to the parent response if we were to throw a ball towards the parent - enjoyable and playful response/expression.

 

So now we have a problem because we have shown our children, by example, that throwing stuff on/towards another is a playful and enjoyable experience and we haven't taken into consideration the outflows and consequences that this may lead to.

Thus, what do we know - we know how we created the problem and now we can start looking at solutions for that specific instance when a child throwing an object towards a pet.

 

Firstly, we start with our own self forgiveness because the tendency is to go now into blame, shame and judgement in realizing what we have done thus, let's take it out of the way before we move on to the next point.

Secondly, when or as we see our child throwing objects towards another being, whether it is a human, an animal or a toy, we first take a breath, make sure we are physically here, that we are stable, that there is no energetic movement within ourselves only we then we explain the child that throwing an object on the pet may harm it and that this behaviour is not acceptable. When we speak these words, we remain stable. If for instance, the child continue with their behaviour, we can divert their attention with another game/toy they could play with and if they didn't move to the next point, we divert them again towards the next point but our starting point is to make sure that no harm is done towards another being.

 

At some stage, the child would understand the difference between playfulness and harmfulness and until the point is here, we remain stable and consistently apply common sense in explaining the child what are the consequences of a harmful behaviour. Obviously, there would be cases when the child is completely possessed and won't stop crying when we remove the pet from their direct seeing, when we apply the attention diversion technic. If that occur, we remain stable and become affirm within our standing, within our voice tonality because we have develop absolute trust within ourselves and the principles we stand for and as which within that, what we would accept and allow and what you would not is clear to us. In this, slowly but surely, as the child grows, our communication would develop and become effective as we start walking with the child, in awareness. Remember, it is a process and it will take time, patience and practice until we establish our effectiveness as a parent.

 

Let's continue this discussion with more examples and solution in the next blog.

Reactions as a window of Opportunity for self Intimacy - Day 310

I realized today a fascinating thing about reactions as Judgement and Blame - what we judge about the other was always there meaning - their behaviour never changed or their thought patterns are always the same but only when we perceive that their behaviour or thought pattern may Harm us in any way whatsoever we then react to it Judgement, Blame, Resentment and so on.

 

Like for example, let's say that you work in a 2 floor office where your colleagues and you are divided to 2 floors. You are all in a way responsible for certain projects but each has their own responsibility. As long as you don't see what they do, there won't be any thoughts/backchats running around in your mind however, the moment you become aware of their doing, and you perceive that what they do would harm you in a way, you'll then develop backchats about them and judge/blame them within and as your mind.

 

So even though these people behaved/acted the same previous to your awareness of that, you only started to judge and blame them when you became aware of it and only because you perceived that their behaviour is unacceptable and may cause harm to you or others which compromised your self interest, you reacted.

 

In this scenario, the Reaction is what actually Compromised not only you but also your peers because if you noticed a point that require correction but instead of effectively directing it and come to a point of correction, you reacted to it and the problem persists.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge another when I Perceive through my own Physical eyes that they are doing something that is not acceptable according to the set of Norms that I've Encrypted within and as myself, set of norms that I've installed and lived as, in separation from myself without any consideration or regards to the validity of these Norms that I've accepted and allowed blindly as myself.

 

Within this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that what I judge is that which I 'Feel' that would threaten my Self Interest, because otherwise, if I would have seen a point that is not best for all, I would have been directing it within self trust and stability but the fact that I've reacted in judgement and/or Blame indicate a point within and as myself that I overlooked and haven't sort out yet.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the pattern or the point that I judged in another, was something that didn't quantimaly manifested but was always there only now, I became 'aware' of it because it interfere with my self interest which then thus, activated a personality system within and as myself through which I accepted and allowed myself to react instead of Direct and Correct.

 

In this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that reacting to such point/pattern instead of directing them indicate that I've accepted and allowed my own process of compromised application as well as the Process of another because I haven't realize that as long as I accept and allow myself to react instead of clearing myself from these Energies,  stand in stability and clarity and assist and support the other to see one's participation of that which is not standing in alignment to what is best for all, I've accepted and allowed myself to compromise not only myself within my initial reaction but also the other as I've not stood as an example and as a pillar of support.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to question why is it that I only react to what I'm aware of while the point was always there regardless my awareness of its existence and within that, how is it that I've accepted and allowed myself to react to knowledge and information in terms of, reacting to what I became aware of instead of standing in stability in ever moment of breath? In this, how is it that I've accepted and allowed myself to change my entire behaviour through reactions to new pieces of Information that I've either heard/read/seen and thus, why it is that something outside of myself moves me and my entire expression?

 

I commit myself to further investigate the point of reactions as a design as I now see, realize and understand that there much more to it than what meets the eyes.

 

I commit myself to when and as I see myself reacting, to flag the point and use this window of opportunity to get to know myself more, to be able to transcend such points wherein nothing separated from me would move and change me but rather I stand as the directive principle in every moment of each breath.

 

I commit myself to investigate why it is that I've accepted and allowed myself to react to knowledge and information in terms of, reacting to what I became aware of instead of standing in stability in ever moment of breath? In this, how is it that I've accepted and allowed myself to change my entire behaviour through reactions to new pieces of Information that I've either heard/read/seen and thus, why it is that something outside of myself moves me and my entire expression?

The Drama Queen Painfully calling for Attention - Day 259

What I haven't understood when and as I accessed to the Drama Queen Character is the relationship between the mind and the Physical and within that, the consequences it consists of.

It is interesting that the consequences are always being justified and/or Denied so that we can continue exactly as we always been without ever looking into and as ourselves to find out the core/source/origin of our behaviour, mannerism and attitudes towards ourselves and others.

 

So what is the nature of the Drama Queen? The first point that came up when I started to investigate character was the Desire for attention. It is when one experience oneself as insecure, inadequate and inferior within and as oneself through which one would try and balance oneself through deliberately create scenes, experiences and events that would draw the attention one required to receive from others.

Within and underneath this desire, exists a Fear. (I will get to the Fear Dimension in a moment).

 

For myself, the Drama Queen Personality/Character started in a very young age through creating Physical Painful experiences. What is fascinating is that when I look back at my life - the real Physical pain and consequences were very much in a silent experiences meaning - I would not go to the extreme of screaming and crying because in doing so, the pain increase. So for instance, when I was about 6 years old, I fell down the stairs in a friend's building house. It was a direct fall of one store height which I rolled all the way down. The Consequences of such event were severe. The doctors said to my parents that I lost my sight in my left eye and the chances that I will ever see again are very low. Fortunately, that wasn't so and my sight return to full function. The point is - the experience within myself was of silent. One of the neighbours who heard the fall came out to see what was going on but that was as far as my memory goes. The next thing was my mother taking me to the hospital.

 

Then, in another incident, already in high school - we were taken to a water park and my entire class went to the tubing slider together - we held hands, all connected to each other and I was the last one on the chain of people. Due to the force that was in play, when I got to the first slide curve, still holding hands with the person in front of me, I was pulled down and my body was thrown from head down till my head knocked the floor; I got a concussion and 2 spots on my spine were out. However, also within this, the experience was of silent within me. No screaming, no yelling out laud for attention. Can't remember the next scene in details. All I remember was 6 months of physiotherapy recovery after that event.

 

But now, when I go back to the memory I shared yesterday, about the 3 stairs that I fell from in the school yard - man, I made a huge scene. I remember it almost to the specific details because I knew that I was making a scene and by the time that I realized what I was doing, my Ego couldn't let me just go away with it - so I continued, trying to make it real so that I won't be judged as someone that yells 'wolf' while there is no wolf around.

 

Thus, what is interesting here is to see how I would create scenes for me to be the main star, through utilizing 'human compassion' when they see someone gets hurt. I guess it is also a cultural thing - in Israel, people are very compassionate when they see someone get hurts in front of their eyes. However for instance, when I was in Prague, I saw someone falls down on the street and I was the only one who approached him.

 

But the specific point that I'm looking at here is how I would deliberately create pain or injury for myself to get attention and within that, the extent that I would take my body through, just for the sake of the attention I may receive. I mean - this is cruel self abuse even though it had never manifested to the extreme of real physical damage. Who knows what I would have done to myself if I haven't faced this point now? This is why it is crucial to move from a reaction to correction so that I won't have to face this point physically but rather, prevent the consequences because there is no real reason to manifest such things in one's life.

 

Will walk the Self Forgiveness and Self Commitments in tomorrow's blog so stay tuned.

 

How little do we know about our Body - Day 223

This is a continuation to:

 

The Elite's delusion of stress - Part 1 - Day 45 The Elite's Delusion of Stress - Part 2 - Day 46 The Decision of TIME - Day 67 opy Paste Character - The Education System - Day 184 Is it possible to Cheat yourself? Day 185 It is time to STOP Existing as a Human Machine - Day 186 The End of Times - Day 187 Facing the Evil within - the KEY to LIFE - Day 188 Fear of Disappointing others - Day 189 The Psychology of TIME - Day 190 I Regret, therefor, I'm a Good Person. NOT!!! - Day 191 The REAL Fear - Day 192 The things we Won't tell ANYONE - Day 193 Missing out on the Good Life - Day 194 Let's have some Fun - Day 195

Stupidity Loop - Jumping from the Bad to the Good to the Bad - Day 196 The Smoke Screen of Ignorance - Day 197 Leaving in a Dream - Day 208 Having the Life Style you always dreamt to have - Day 209 IT is MY time Now - don't say a word - Day 210 Let's go on Vacation - Day 211 Comparison is a Bitch - Day 212 Damn, I will never have everything done - Day 213 Standing as an Example - Self Interest or Self Realization? - Day 214 From the Bossy to the Loser - Day 215 Jealousy and Frustration - I want the Life they Have - Day 216 The Poison within Irritation and Anger - Day 217 Judgement as self Perfection - Day 218 Impatience as Evilness - Day 219 Please feel Sorry for me - Day 220 Depression - Self Interest or a Real Physical Condition? - Day 221 Stress and Anxiety - Self Creation or Elite's Mind Control? - Day 222

 

For the purpose of context, suggest reading these posts above prior to reading the post below, if you haven’t already. Here I will be walking the 'I don't have TIME' Character - Behaviour Dimension - Practical support with Self Forgiveness and Self Commitments.

 

Behaviour Dimension:

* Shoulders downs

* Back carving in

* Head leans on the left hand

* Dragging the legs

* Rub my eyes

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to automate how I would Behave and how I would move myself as my human physical body, with no self awareness, when and as I've activated the 'I don't have Time' Character. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT realize how and why I've automated my Behaviour body movement when and as I access the 'I don't have time' Character and within that, How I would accept and allow myself to sabotage my physical body through accepting and allowing myself to position my body in postures that do not support the physical body.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how I've taken for granted my physical body and completely sabotaged myself as the physical body through accepting and allowing myself to access a total mind possession, as the 'I don't have time character' wherein I would accept and allow my body to be positioned in postures that do not support the body in any way whatsoever.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see, realize and understand how in the moment of realizing that I will not get a task/work done wherein a moment before that, I've been stable within and as myself, I, in that moment, would change my body posture according to the Negative Experience that I've accepted and allowed within and as myself, in comparison to the Positive Experience that I've had within and as my mind and so, I my shoulders would go down and my back would crave in and I would lean my head on the left hand, in total desperation and self victimization that I've Perceived the Experience that I face to be. 

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to drag my legs when I'm walking while I'm in the 'I don't have time' character, so that within the way that I walk, I would be noticed by others, and they would either feel sorry for me, or offer to assist me and I have NOT seen how I would compromise and sabotage my human physical body for the sake of getting attention to validate the Character that I embodied within and as myself so that I could justify to myself why it's ok to 'Feel' what I feel, not seeing realizing and understanding the Design of the 'I don't have time' character that I've created within and as myself.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT realized that I deliberately rub my eyes when I'm possessed within the 'I don't have time' character that I've created within and as myself, to further justify for myself why it is ok to give up now and not push myself to finish the task/work that I've set forth to myself within the excuse that I'm apparently tired which manifest a physical consequences of dry eyes.

 

I commit myself to be aware and attentive to how I move and change my body behaviour in any given moment to assist and support myself in seeing what I've accepted and allowed within and as myself so that I could investigate the point for myself and accordingly walk the correction process, as myself.

 

I commit myself to - When and as I see myself going down the road of separation from and as my human physical body as I see that I'm changing the way that I move, speak, behave I then stop, Breathe, assessing within and as myself what's going on, what backchat, fear, reactions, imagination I've accepted and allowed within and as myself and accordingly, assist and support myself in bringing myself back here though physical self forgiveness and self corrective practical application.

Behavior Modification - Day 74

For context - Please listen to the interview:

Life Review - My Life of Behaviour Modification

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself as a child, to react in absolute self judgement and fear of what others will say about me, when a person in my environment said to me that I'm acting like a show-off and thus should immediately stop expressing myself in dancing because according to the being eye's view, by dancing=show-off,  I'm hurting other people in my environment by making them feel inferior/less than me.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to check within and as myself, in self honesty, my starting point of my expression in that moment to be able to assess whether there was a want/desire within me to present myself as more than or whether this statement was a self reaction within the being who made the statement. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to react in self judgement to this statement because I didn't understand how the mind works and how to assist and support me within that moment, to assess in self honesty the entire play out/time line and thus, I've imprinted in that moment, a single dimension of the entire play out, as a point I could connect myself to because I knew within me that I have tried/attempted to, in various situations pre this event to be more than this person that I'm supposedly hurting within my expression.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT investigate within and as myself the starting point of the being's statement to see if the statement was as a point of a support for me to look at a specific point within who I am in my environment of whether it was a self judgement point of the being who made the statement that I shouldn't take personally but instead, assist and support the being to see what the being has accepted and allowed themselves to be and become.

Within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to capture that memory in a time capsule within and as myself and allowed this past memory imprint to influence who I am, as self expression, from that moment onwards where I became self conscious about my expression and accordingly, made the decision to suppress my expression and modify myself according to the Society eyes view.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to take one statement spoken by a being and make it bigger than what is was to the extreme of this statement becoming my directive principle in my life instead of me, walking and directing me, as who I am as self expression, in every moment of every breath.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how I have shaped, mould and manifested myself within and as specific type/s of personality to keep me 'stable' within my environment within this world system and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT realized that these personalities that I've created  within the first 7 years of my life was to modify and adapt myself to the Norms of my environment as well as the values and mannerism that my society/culture/religion/environment stand within and as, in absolute separation from myself as LIFE.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to consider and question what abnormal behaviour even means within this world system and why the system defined specific behaviours as abnormal. Was it to keep us controlled? What is the reason for keeping beings controlled? What is it that the system doesn't want us to know?

All of these question can be answered within and as oneself, in self honesty and a bit of common sense - just follow the money route and you'll see the answer. Otherwise, suggest investing some time to investigate http://equalmoney.org/wiki

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself, as a parent in this world, to make the commitment of getting to know myself as the mind, getting to know my child as the mind, so that I could stand in absolute support for my children wherein instead of forcing them to create personalities according to the example that I stand within and as, as what I've passed on to them from generation to generation in total separation, I will stand and educate my children to express who they are as Life that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to grasp my responsibility within my child's behaviour development and how I am a direct influence within their behaviour development and unless I get to know myself as the mind, align myself back to myself as a physical living human being, I will not and cannot stand as an absolute support for my children within and as the principle of oneness and equality and thus, I commit myself to get to know myself as my mind, as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become in separation of myself and accordingly change, BEFORE I even consider bringing a child into this world because I see, realize and understand how and why I am the most influential being in my child's life and it's up to me to first take responsibility for myself before I can take responsibility for another. Within that, I commit myself to show that this is not a point of judgement towards those who already have children because within every moment of every breath, one is able to make the commitment to themselves to change according to principles they are willing to stand as for eternity and within that, take responsibility for themselves and their child within self trust that they have supported their child in the utmost of their ability in this ONE life time.

I commit myself to not force and impose my opinions/ideas/beliefs onto another by making even the smallest statement as I see, realize and understand how I can influence and effect another human life when and as I'm not clear within and as myself and especially, when I'm standing as a point of support and responsibility towards the being.

I commit myself to always investigate and check within and as myself a being's statement that was addressed to me so that I can asses in self honesty whether it is a point that I require to look at and correct or whether I stand in clarity and support the being to see the point that they have missed within themselves.

I commit myself to go through my past memories, and delete them one by one until I'm empty so that my expression, who I am, will no longer be dependent on my past as limitation that I've accepted and allowed within and as myself.

I commit myself to show that society's norms are but another form of control and enslavement of the humans into a closed circuit system that they can never get out of so long as they are contained within their mind, according to their preprogram design.

I commit myself to show the parents influence of the child development within the first 7 years of their life  and why it is crucial for the parents to take the responsibility to get to know themselves as the mind, to be able to support their child to develop themselves as LIFE that is best for all.

I commit myself to show the relationship between society regulation of the humans within the definition of what is normal and abnormal and MONEY.