Where did my Child learn to Behave like that? - Day 338

Continuing with the Question Who is Responsible for our Children's Education?

If you haven't already, I suggest reading through the previous blogs:

 

Who is Responsible for our Children's Education? - Day 332

Is the Zoo an Educational Experience for Children - Day 333

The Santa Claus Conspiracy - Can a Child Trust their Parents? - Day 334

Rejection as Parental Control? - Day 335

Rejections as Parental Authority - Day 336

Does the Education system Prepare the Children to Face the World - Day 337

 

 

In relation to the blog post: Rejections as Parental Authority - Day 336 - a few points to clarify as indicated in the following feedback I received from a friend who is a mother to a 2 years old boy:

 

"Maya I'm thinking constantly of the point of saying no to your child, and I felt quite bad, many times, when I had to say no. and I also think that a no without any explanation is wrong, but at a certain age the child does not understand what you are talking about and it seems to be better for parent and child if the little one just accepts the word NO. with 2 years my son is still not able to understand why he should not do something, like hitting the cat or dog. or throwing things at them, just cause it seems fun. and we never taught him to do so, he is not watching TV at all - seems like he is just trying things out. so I stopped explaining to him and simply tell him to stop/NO. if he doesn't stop I remove him from the place and put him into his room, at this point he is crying like hell. after a while he stops and comes out of the room. and this can happen again and again. it's really hard sometimes. I also respect his NO, I don't force him to drink or eat something if he says no.

you see, there is a point when you as a parent can make things even more worse with the explaining. the clear word NO and the action afterwards showing the child "this is not OK" by removing it from the place is in this kind of situation better. but that is my experience right now. I hope he will start to understand explanations soon, because LOL, I desperately want to explain him the world."

 

First of all, I'm grateful for this comment as it allowed me to realize that I've not walked this point effectively in showing the problem and  solutions that can be applied.

 

Secondly and more importantly, Please do not judge or feel guilty when reading these blogs because remember, while almost everything in this world requires a licence, parenting doesn't and non of us were ever prepared to walk such responsibility to the best of our ability. So here, I suggest to transform the inner judgement or guilt or feeling bad to a window of opportunity to look at things in different ways and accordingly, investigate and explore these points for oneself. Then, if the point isn't clear, let's discuss it again until we find the ultimate solutions that all of us can applied with ourselves and with our children.

 

Within this blog, I would specifically look at the question: where such behaviour, as was described by the mother above, are coming from and specifically when the TV isn't part in one's behaviour development since without TV, it would give us a clearer seeing of the 'time line' or the 'causes and affects', 'actions and responses' to see, realize and understand not only our children's behaviours but ourselves as well.

 

And before I start, let me emphasize again how crucial it is for every parent to invest in the Interview Series: Parenting - Perfecting the Human Race to be able to grasp the Quantum Mechanics involved within the Child Natural Learning Abilities from age 0-7.

 

So let's start - Let's take an example of a child that was never exposed at home to the Media, is only 2 years old and yet, picked up Behavioural components such as throwing stuff on pets or hitting them.

The child does not understand the difference between Playfulness and Harmfulness and in away, is innocence within their expression. There is no grudge or spite involves; there is no direct intention to do harm onto another and the child also does not have the words/vocabulary to understand the meaning of: "do not harm another".

 

So from where did the child pick up these behaviours that in time turned to be an harmful behaviours towards another? Let's have a look at the pattern of throwing stuff on pets. Now, let's place ourselves in the shoes of a 2 years old child and trace back our first impression where something was flying in the air towards us? What was that? It could be for example a little ball that a huge person, which later you were taught it was our parent, was throwing towards us and it hit our belly because we didn't know that we were supposed to catch the ball with our hands? And this huge person who kept on throwing the ball towards us was so happy in their expression that we have interpreted that experience into a simple equation: Throwing an object towards another = playful experience.

So from a child perspective, throwing stuff on the pet is a playful experience according to the data base of memories the child stored within and as themselves. From the child perspective, the pet's response would be equal to the parent response if we were to throw a ball towards the parent - enjoyable and playful response/expression.

 

So now we have a problem because we have shown our children, by example, that throwing stuff on/towards another is a playful and enjoyable experience and we haven't taken into consideration the outflows and consequences that this may lead to.

Thus, what do we know - we know how we created the problem and now we can start looking at solutions for that specific instance when a child throwing an object towards a pet.

 

Firstly, we start with our own self forgiveness because the tendency is to go now into blame, shame and judgement in realizing what we have done thus, let's take it out of the way before we move on to the next point.

Secondly, when or as we see our child throwing objects towards another being, whether it is a human, an animal or a toy, we first take a breath, make sure we are physically here, that we are stable, that there is no energetic movement within ourselves only we then we explain the child that throwing an object on the pet may harm it and that this behaviour is not acceptable. When we speak these words, we remain stable. If for instance, the child continue with their behaviour, we can divert their attention with another game/toy they could play with and if they didn't move to the next point, we divert them again towards the next point but our starting point is to make sure that no harm is done towards another being.

 

At some stage, the child would understand the difference between playfulness and harmfulness and until the point is here, we remain stable and consistently apply common sense in explaining the child what are the consequences of a harmful behaviour. Obviously, there would be cases when the child is completely possessed and won't stop crying when we remove the pet from their direct seeing, when we apply the attention diversion technic. If that occur, we remain stable and become affirm within our standing, within our voice tonality because we have develop absolute trust within ourselves and the principles we stand for and as which within that, what we would accept and allow and what you would not is clear to us. In this, slowly but surely, as the child grows, our communication would develop and become effective as we start walking with the child, in awareness. Remember, it is a process and it will take time, patience and practice until we establish our effectiveness as a parent.

 

Let's continue this discussion with more examples and solution in the next blog.

Rejections as Parental Authority - Day 336

Continuing with the Question Who is Responsible for our Children's Education?

If you haven't already, I suggest reading through the previous blogs:

 

Who is Responsible for our Children's Education? - Day 332

Is the Zoo an Educational Experience for Children - Day 333

The Santa Claus Conspiracy - Can a Child Trust their Parents? - Day 334

Rejection as Parental Control? - Day 335

 

 

A comment I received on my Previous blog: Rejection as Parental Control? - Day 335

 

"I agree to an extent. It is also key for the child to understand who is in authority. When explanation is constantly given; the child can view themselves as an equal to the parent and as entitled to an explanation and therefore justification to obey. That is a mistake."

 

Perspective:

 

If you haven't already, I suggest reading through Day 340: What is Authority? by creation's Journey to Life where it was explained in simple Common Sense What Real Authority is:

 

"Authority is the Taking of Responsibility to Produce a Form of Management, Government, Directive Principle and Outcome that is Best for Everyone…"

 

"...Authority is That which Life Grants Each One Equally, the Authority as Life…"

 

Within that context, what is Parental Authority?

 

"..An Authority in Parenting would be to Show the Child ‘What is Best,’ How to Coexist Best without Fear in Peace in Harmony with Everyone else, Without Abusing or Dominating another, Without Enslaving another through Fear.."

 

And as I've mentioned in my Previous blog:

 

"...The tendency of parents is to simply answer: "No" and "Because I said so", without any form of explanation, without showing the common sense behind the decision and without teaching the child how to look at all things and decides on that which is best. In that, what parents are normally missing is the understanding that with showing these things to the child, and stand as an example of how to Deal with Dilemmas, how to solve problems and more importantly, how to prevent a problem as a foundation/tool the child would effectively grow and expand themselves instead of becoming ineffective emotional machine that would shape and form their characters to either submit, rebel or suppress their experience of rejections.."

 

Within the context of the Comment above, it is implied that the child isn't equal and cannot be equal to their parents which is bizarre if one would look at it because: didn't the child come from the Flesh of their parents and thus, on a physical level, is equal to and one as the parent? So then thus, what separate the child from the Parent is the Belief that the child isn't equal to the parent so that the parent could superimpose their authority onto the child without realizing that this type of authority is abusive. Why?

 

When authority is used to perpetuate the inequality within the family structure, one do not see, realize and understand that one is in essence, doom their child to be and become ineffective human being in this world.

See, when the child doesn't receive explanation for the Parent's decision, the child would not learn how to expand their seeing through investigating all things and keep that which is best and accordingly, the child may develop the habit of accepting things as they are, even when it's not for the best and would thus, not question and see the relationships involve in any decision one is making, the outflows and the consequences. Thus, the child would not be able to evaluate and assess the problem one would face or more importantly, figure out in a practical manner how to prevent a problem from occurring.

Within this, the child would turn out to be dysfunctional being who is not able to develop reasoning thinking, common sense and become effective in this world which is exactly the reason why we live in a world where solutions and preventions is not part of our daily participation but rather, accepting the world system as it is despite of the abuse and suffering that is part is existing and a direct divertive of our world system, without ever investigate all things and keep that which is best for all.

 

What needs to be investigated is why the parents is unwilling to stand as their child's equal and walk as the Principle of Give as you would like to Receive. Meaning, if you place yourself in the shoes of your child: would you like to be given an answer such as "No, because I said so" without understanding the reason for the rejection, what is the starting point of the rejection and what was the parent looking at when making the decision to answer: "No.? I'm pretty sure you would not appreciate such a thing.

 

If one would look in self honesty, when we automatically say: "No" it is most often a reaction. Whether the reaction is coming from Fear of Past experiences, the reaction would deny us from looking in common sense at all the possibilities and outflows that are involved within a decision.

Our Children are very sensitive to their environment and therefore, within themselves, they would pick up whether or not we have been self honest and genuine in our answer/approach/decision. From there, the child would either accept or reject the Decision. Meaning, if the child accept the parent's self-dishonesty, the child would tend to submit and if the child reject the parent's Self-dishonesty, the child would try to manipulate or rebel. In both scenario, the actions and behaviour that would form a part in how the child would create their personality/character that would play a role in their adulthood lives when facing moments of decisions.

Here, I would suggest listening to Parenting - Perfecting the Human Race - Part 3 where it was specifically discussed the point of accepting or rejecting the Energies the child would pick up from their Parents words.

 

"...look at the consequences of a parent asserting authority over the child - as this is what has essentially made it possible for beings to exist as they are today because we raise our children to give in and/or give up their 'power' to authority, regardless of whether or not the being in an authority position is actually able to be trusted to take responsibility and make decisions that are for the best.  The teaching of 'understanding authority' leads to conflict within the individual because of the self-doubt and self-distrust as a result of being told that an authority figure is right and knows what is best - regardless of whether or not there is common sense…" (perspective written by a friend of mine who is a mother of 5 years old child)

 

So, what is behind the belief that the child is not our equals will be further discussed in blogs to come.

Capitalism and Ignorance is Bliss - Consuming Kids - Solutions and Rewards (Part 4) - Day 320

This is a continuation to:

Capitalism and Ignorance is Bliss - Day 315

Capitalism and Ignorance is Bliss - Consuming Kids (part 1) - Day 316

Capitalism and Ignorance is Bliss - Consuming Kids (Part 2) - Day 317

Capitalism and Ignorance is Bliss - Consuming Kids (Part 3) - Day 319

In my previous blogs, I was walking through the major problems in having Children as a Target for Advertisement and Marketing of 'Goods' and the Consequences that may emerge, individually and collectively if we accept and allow the continuation of such phenomena within a Profit Driven Capitalistic System as it designed and structured nowadays.

Within this Blog, I will present the Solutions to the Problems after we identified the Source/Core/Root cause of the Problem which is Greed and Desire for Money and thus Control.

Solution:

We have a Conumerised Robots that would automatically and blindly follow the Ads that we are exposed to. Some of us have the Money to pay for such luxuries but the majority of us, can only dream of having the ability of participating in such luxuries and Leisure and within that, develop serious mental disorders such as extensive Imagination that may lead one to extreme forms of self abuse. The solution start with Education:

"..This is the first step and pivotal point to set the foundation for change in our world system, and this process has to be differentiated from any previous attempts to do so with no success, since the intellectualization of humanity only set moral codes for the Belief in Knowledge as a means to progress and better the living conditions in our society; but money was forgotten along the way of such ‘evolution’ that was only available for some, and an intellectual elitism is created from the restricted  access to such education, which has been a constant variable that determines humanity’s well being according to countries/ culture/ race, wherein only the ruling elite or religious authorities get the education they require according to the role and position they would become in society, which perpetuated the hierarchical system we’re existing in, proving that Education as the basic aspect toward creating an Equal society has not been considered at all,  until now…"

(Source: http://marlenvargasdelrazo.wordpress.com/2013/03/08/322-deconstructing-the-root-of-all-evil/)

…"Education in an Equal Money System has the goal of giving each individual the support to discover their true passion and abilities, achieve a comprehensive understanding of how the world works and how to support life, and develop healthy relationships with themselves, others, and the world while playing an important part in maintaining a system that gives everyone the best Life possible on Earth. And – unlike in the current system – everyone will be Equally included in receiving such Support…"

(Source: http://equalmoney.org/wiki/Education)

With Proper Education, Human Consciousness couldn't be manipulated and therefor, the Principles of Equality and That which is best for all would be preserves for Generations to come despite of a Few that would try and attempt to manipulate and deceive to be able to maintain and restore their Power and Control Desires. Thus, Education is the most and foremost Tools that would assist and support on the Individual and Collective level, to Prevent the Problem to reoccur as through Education, one would see, realize and understand one's role within this world as a whole, one's responsibility and in that, see directly what would be the consequences of actions that are based on self interest and therefor, wouldn't accept and allow the abusive outflow to emerge and manifest within the world society as a whole.

In terms of Advertisements and Marketing in an Equal Money Capitalism System -

Remember, the Equal Money Capitalism System is based on Principles:

- Give as you would like to receive

- Do unto another as you would like to be done unto you

- Investigate ALL things and keep that which is good for All.

Within that, Profit will not stand as the Driven Force of our Existent but what will Stand as the Force with the utmost value is LIFE that is best for all. Within that context, the Products and Services that will be Produced and Manufacture are only those that support Life. With effective Distribution System, these Products and Services will be accessible for all. Therefor, the Entire filed of Advertisement and Marketing will cease to exists as Competition and Profit will no longer serve as the Starting point of one's making.

Marketing will take place for instance, when a new product (or service) was produced after a committee of professional assessed, checked and tested all the possible outcomes and outflows that the product and/or service may result with and thus, made sure that the product stands in alignment to the Equality and Best for all Principles. Then, the Product will be Marketed from the starting point of bringing the information to the awareness of the people. The information would include the Specific Detail of what the Product is, who was involved in the manufacture of the product, where can one receive the product and so on.

The Ads will be informative and specific and would include everything one require to know to be able to make informative decision in whether or not one require having the product for oneself as one would see, realize and understand that with every production of every product, some form of harm is caused to the world resources and therefor, if one does not require it, there is no real reason to get it just because one can get it in an EMC. The assessment tools for and as oneself will be part of the Education processes all will have access to and it is again perpetuating the necessity of reforming the Education as the first and foremost solution.

Rewards:

With Eradicating the Profit Driven Marketing Behaviour, the Mental and Physical problems I've mentioned in my previous blogs will dramatically decline and Physical Happiness could be finally achieved by all human on earth.

"...With this Education we deliberately integrate the living principle of equality within ourselves to always consider what is best for all, to give as one would like to receive, to cooperate with others to make of our reality a sustainable system, to honor nature as the life that it gives us, to enjoy a physical living expression that will no longer be taunted by ideals and images of ‘power’ and ‘wealth’ as we currently are taught to pursue in our family, schools and society, but instead follow living examples of what is possible when living is no longer only based on consumerism and a pursuit of happiness of a triumphant individualization through wealth and selective benefits, but instead based on the actual discovery of life that will be possible once out of our tunneled vision reality of fear and desires resulting on greed and hoarding as a synonym of happiness…"

(Source: http://marlenvargasdelrazo.wordpress.com/2013/03/08/322-deconstructing-the-root-of-all-evil/)

We will no longer be the Sheep that blindly follow what our eyes sees, what was deliberately been exposed for us to see and accordingly we developed all kinds and types of mental disorders from Imaginations to physical self abuse.  

When one study what is being done onto us through OUR acceptances and allowances, one may stand up and call for a chance internally and externally. I urge you to start your process of REAL education to see, realize and understand what is really being done in this world and how we play a big part within it. it is time to stop the participation with that which do not support LIFE but instead, to stand up and Create the World that is based on Life as a Value that is respected, protected and honoured. That is my friends our responsibility to create as no one will create it for us. it is our responsibility to stand up and change because it was us who gave up our power as Life and gave it away for those who knew how to use what was already here to their self interest benefits. These people are not the one to blame - they are equally responsible. So let's take our responsibility and within that our power back to ourselves and create a world where abuse of power will be no more and Life that is best for all could be practically lived.

Capitalism and Ignorance is Bliss - Consuming Kids (Part 3) - Day 319

 

This is a continuation to:

Capitalism and Ignorance is Bliss - Day 315

Capitalism and Ignorance is Bliss - Consuming Kids (part 1) - Day 316

Capitalism and Ignorance is Bliss - Consuming Kids (Part 2) - Day 317

 

Problem No.3.1

Mental Health and the Well Being of Children - Who is Responsible?

 

When I started investigating the Problem in relation to the Well being and Mental Health of the children and adults in relation to Marketing and Advertisement, I found an interesting thing that this current capitalistic System has created and the Players it involved that are either aware or unaware of their involvement however, regardless their awareness, they are part of the problem, like any other person within the capitalistic system which include us - all who can make a difference but won't due to an extensive fear of survival that we have accepted and allowed to be the Status Quo of our Existence.

 

The question that needs to be asked here is Who Supports the Advertiser Elite to Lure and Manipulate children into a Consumer Robots? Unfortunately, those whom we trust the most in the System are those who gave up their Morality for the Power of Money - the Psychologist who are directly and indirectly made the decision to support the Capitalistic System for their own Interest of Survival.

Now I understand that many would object and resist to the above statement but have a look -

There are Companies headed by Trained Child Psychologists that Specialized in Market Research on Children.

Psychologist that are involved with Child Marketing Research. An Evident is the large number of books such as "What Kids Buy and Why: The Psychology of Marketing to Kids (Acuff & Reiher, 1997)", "A Marketer’s Guide to a Kid’s Heart (Del Vecchio, 1997)". The research goes far to the extent of testing which message strategy would most effectively induce children to nag their parents to buy the advertised product (“The old nagging game,” 1998). These Psychologists are very much aware of the Consequences and the Outflows that directly Emerge in one's mind which leads to Mental health disorders such as Anorexia, Bulimia and Eating disorders, Anabolic Steroids intake,  Botox Injection, Bullying and etc.

I mean, it is quite obvious that commercial and advertisement companies targeting children, using psychologists to enhance the effectiveness of the Persuasive tools applied and that in itself should be an extreme concerning point that must follow with questioning the entire field of Psychology and the ethics that they use.

But that is not the end of it - the Victims of Advertisements are later on being treated by Psychologist that claims having good intentions and a Desire to cure the Child's Mind but is it really so?  Aren't these Psychologist aware of the core/root/source of the Problem that manifest such extreme Mental behaviour in the first place? Obviously they are but they wouldn't do anything about it because that would mean that they won't have patients to cure any longer and therefor, what will they do for a living? So there is a silent acceptance of the Problem because having the Problem in place, support the survival of the Psychology field as a whole.

So, if both the companies and the Psychologists do not have the children's Mental Health, Physical Health and well-being in mind - who is taking care of our Children in a Profit Driven Capitalistic Society?

 

Problem No.3.2

Mental Health and the Well Being of Children - why and how?

 

 

"Children now account directly for an estimated $36 billion in sales annually in the USA, with their indirect purchasing power accompanied by the so called “nag-factor” (Zelizer, 2002) reaching over $290 billion of economic spending (McNeal, 1992). This is not a coincidence, but a direct result of intense advertising and co existing problems of a consumer society. For example with over 70% of mothers now working more and more, consumer tasks are falling to the children. It is now estimated that by age 10, the average child makes over five trips a week to a shop or shopping center (McNeal 1992). And with over $1 billion being spent every year on child advertising and an additional $10 billion on promotion in the USA alone, these children have more purchasing power than ever."

Source: “Child advertising: Cradle to Grave consumerism.”

 

Thus, children who are exposed to enormous amount of advertising are forced to specific type of Deliberate 'Education' - the American Dream and the Life Style that all would like to have. They then thus, learn the importance of Money from the Self Interest and desire point of view and certainty not the Value of Life as what Money could be used as a tool of what would enhance and perfect the well being of ALL; they will learn what products they require to purchase to be able to stand in alignment to the Life Style they Desire having and within that thus, how these products supposedly would created the experience of 'Feeling Good' and 'Happy' within and as themselves. Young people are exposed from birth on to advertisements implying that their happiness is dependent on how they look, how popular they are and what material goods they have in their Possession.

Theses are the fundamental values that children are currently being exposed to, when and as they birth into this capitalistic system, as we have shown in the previous blog.

 

This obviously comes with Consequences:

 

Parent–Child Conflict An important side effect of the influence of advertising on children’s desire for products is the parent–child conflict that emerges when refusals occur in response to children’s purchase-influence attempts (Robertson, 1979). Parents obviously cannot honor all purchase requests triggered by television advertising, given the volume of commercials that the average child sees. In one study, Atkin (1975) found that more than half of children reported arguing or becoming angry when a toy request was denied; in another (Atkin, 1978), he observed high rates of child disappointment and anger in response to the majority of parent refusals for cereal requests at the supermarket. Other studies confirm these patterns (Goldberg & Gorn, 1978; Sheikh & Moleski, 1977). In sum, the frequent purchase requests associated with children’s advertising exposure may place strain on parent–child interaction.   Materialistic Attitudes Although each ad may have as its primary purpose the promotion of sales of its featured product, the cumulative impact from the totality of advertising seen by children may exert far broader sociological influence. For example, scholars have advanced the hypothesis that advertising cultivates a materialistic value system in young people. In this context, materialism can be defined as the view that products and their acquisition are the basis for determining one’s personal worth. As Baran, Mok, Land, and Kang (1989) expressed it, people develop the mind-set that “you are what you buy.” Material possessions become the source of judgment by others as well as the source of one’s own self-evaluation.

Source: Report of the APA Task Force on Advertising and Children

 

Extreme Materialism among children was found to be one of the causes for more Depression and Anxiety, dissatisfaction, anger and isolation. (Kasser T. The High Price of Materialism. Cambridge, MA: MIT Press, 2002;

Eckersley R. Well and Good: Morality, Meaning and Happiness. 2nd edn. Melbourne: Text Publishing, 2005.).

 

Commonsensically, in a society where Money become a scarce commodity as more and more people loses their jobs while Marketing and Advertisements of new Products are increasing, it is inevitable that people would experience the Desire for MORE however, wouldn't be able to get that More which would lead to Depression and frustration.

It is also clear that not all could experience the Life Style that is advertised in the various types and kinds of Media that would lead to Jealousy and all the dimensions that comes up with Jealousy such as Anxiety, Self Judgement, dissatisfaction and so Furth.

 

Furthermore, with the Photoshoped Manipulation in Marketing and advertisement, many would go through the Experience of Eating disorder due to Comparing themselves to the Picture they see in Ads to the Picture they see  in their minds and accordingly, some would go through to path of Extreme of Bulimia and Anorexia.

 

In terms of Children/parents relationship - the advertisers are aware of the harm the ads cause and even wrote a book about it - The old nagging game, 1998. With the deliberate creation of dysfunctional relationship already from a young age of the child and with no support for the parents in how to deal with the development and evolution of consumerism in a capitalistic society - the parents are forced to a life of constant conflict and friction with their children that would deny them from being the Gentle and yet Directive Force in their Child's Life, in being able to fulfil their responsibility as parents in supporting the children to be and become the upmost potential within their Natural Development processes, that they could have become within an Equal and best for all world system.

 

There are Research available that describes in specificity the Problems involved with our current capitalistic society and the consequences that are busy escalating, generation after generation.

We cannot wait until it is too late because under our noses, our children are the victims of our ignorance. While ignorance is Bliss is a quick delusional solution, it will follow, and already is following with detrimental consequences that would lead us to a point of no return.

 

To be continued...