Why children do not respects Parents? - Day 389

This is a continuation of the previous blog: Why did we stop questioning our reality? (Part 1) - Day 387 and

Why did we stop questioning our reality? (Part 2) - Day 388. For the full context of this blog, I suggest reading through these blogs for context.

 

In the previous blog I ended of with the following quote:

So - why did this memory came up. when I was looking at the memory and asked myself why this memory came up, a word flashed in my mind: "Respect". I realized that my relationship with my grandfather was of respect and integrity because he always took the time to explain to me a point when I asked: "Why". And as I go through my data base of information as I write here, I see more and more events when I asked him a question and he answered me while others did not. I also remember that when my grandmother for instance said: "No, because I said so", he expanded on the point and explained me the reason behind the answer: "No".

 

How can a parent expect their child to respect them if the parent do not stand within the principle of give as you would like to receive and within that context - treat with respect and you will be respected. If one do not respect the child in taking the time to walk them through the time line of understanding, and especially when  the child ask "why", one's action indicate that one do not respect one's child but rather acting as a dictator in controlling and forcing the child to absolute submission and suppression by using one's parental authority.

 

So now the child understands the meaning of the words: "No, because I said so" and the child will slowly but surely start to disrespect and distrust the parent because a relationship of integrity was never established. The child by now already realize that there is no common sense in the words: "No, because I said so" and the child already realize that there is no use to try and ask for clarification because there isn't much chance that the parent will suddenly change their contaminated habit and start explaining the reasoning behind the decision that had led them to speak the words: "No, because I said so". This is when the Rebelling stage comes in play.

 

With the child desire to walk a specific path and the parent saying "No", the child did not associated the path they wanted to go with the word: "NO" but they have associated the word "No" with their parents and therefore, from the child perspective, all they have to do is to remove the parent from the equation and the path is clear to go. Now they will walk the path behind the parents back. Do you know anyone who didn't do what ever they wanted behind the parents' back? Do you think that your parents did not do the same - did what ever they wanted behind their parents' back?

 

But later on, consequences will come to the child's doorstep so to speak and at the end of the day, they will have to tell the parents what they have done which by then, in many cases, it is too late and one can no longer prevent the consequences but face them.

 

Now, all of that is not understood by the parents in this world despite of the fact that we, when we were children, disrespected our parents, did things behind their back, told them about it only when it was already too late and consequences emerged and yet - once we become parents, a funny thing happen - we forget that we were children, we forget that we didn't trust our parents and we repeat the same mistakes our parents did with us even though we swear so many times that we will never be like our parents. But the fact of the matter is that there is only one thing we never did as adults - question our reality in terms of looking at how is it possible that despite of our agreement with ourselves to not treat our children as our parents treated us, we still repeat and walk our parents' foot steps. Bizarre.

 

More to come in the next blog

The Consequences of our eating habits - Jamie Oliver Food Revolution Review - Day 383

This is a continuation to the blog Series review about Jamie Oliver's TV series - Food Revolution.

Thus, if you haven't already, I suggest watching Jamie Oliver's TV series - Food Revolution and read through the blog series where the question: Who is Responsible for our Children's Education? is asked.

 

Within this blog I will be focusing on the third problem that I've identified when watching the Food Revolution series - Lack of understanding the consequences of our eating habits.

 

2/3 of the Americans are overweighed or obese (http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/overwt.htm) - even though the consequences are visible to say the least, the awareness, the problem and the solution are no where to be seen. If you walk through the path of money, one thing is certain, you will find the answer, you will see the problem and you'll see exactly what needs to be done to not only sort out the problem but also, preventing it from reoccurring however, it appears that we prefer to ignor the problem and continue our destructive lives.

From the Elite's perspective, having the majority of the Americans ignorant is the Elite's bliss because they can continue making money by killing the citizens slowly but surely - I mean, think of it - the money that is spent on fast food/junk food and the money that is spent when treating the consequences is pure profit for the elite. In fact, having healthy people would reduce the Elite's profit and therefore, you cannot expect that the solution will come for far above.

 

What doesn't make sense to me is the parents common statements that they want the best for their child without realizing that with the food they feed their children, they are killing them and ensuring a shorter life span. However, here, we cannot even blame the parents for being ignorant because the system have deliberately created ignorant people who are unable to think for themselves and develop reasoning thinking. So you see, the problem is sever because those that can stand up for a change and take their responsibility where trained by the system to be sheep instead of self leaders and yet, the ones who give the power for the continuation of educating generations of sheep is the same people who were trained to be ignorant sheep - the people, you and me - we are the ones who votes for our leaders to continue training us to believe we are powerless, inferior and with no skills to even think for ourselves. Watch the Century of the Self and College conspiracy to understand what we have become.

 

This is why we now have epidemic disease called obesity; and it is getting worse despite of us seeing the premature death of the people around us due to obesity, heart problems, diabetes - all related to the food we eat, we do nothing to change our eating habits because habits, once becoming habits, are difficult to change for someone who have forced themselves to believe they are powerless to make a change for themselves.

 

So, it is not that we do not understand the consequences, we do, we see it all over. It is that we have accepted and allowed our own self defeat and we literally gave up on ourselves, our lives and the life of our children.

It seems to me that we are waiting for the consequences to get much worse before we act however, as I see it, by the time the consequences would get to a point that would force us to act, it would be already too late.

So, will we stand back and wait or will we act now and prevent that which is still in a preventable stage before it becomes too late? Investigate the Equal Money and the Equal Life foundation and support your children to live where your words and practical actions becomes ONE: "I want what is best for my child" = Ensuring in a practical and physical manner that your child and all other children will actually have the best.

 

 

What is care really? Day 340

Continuing with the Question Who is Responsible for our Children's Education?

 

When going through the news headlines and seeing the craziness humanity is suffering from, it is clear that Real Care does not exists in this world. One can blame the world system, the education system, the neighbours, the living conditions, you name it; however, if we look in self honesty, we would see that we were the ones who created the system that allows such madness; we would start seeing our responsibility from the perspective that what ever we now see accelerating around the world, is the exact duplicate of the nastiness, madness and evilness that exists in our minds. For more context, I suggest reading Why Changing the World start with Self - Day 311 and Facing the Evil within - the KEY to Self Awareness - Day 188.

 

Now, if we look back at the original question: Who is Responsible for our Children's Education? it is safe to say that if Real Care for one's children was existing, us, as Parents in this world, would have make sure that our children would be and become the best they could be within a very specific guideline of:

- Give as you would like to receive.

- Do unto another as you would like to be done unto you.

Making sure that our Children would be the best they can be within these above guidelines, would have resulted with a world that is best for all where Madness and Craziness would be non existent; where Poverty and Crime would no longer exists; War and Abuse would be something that we couldn't even grasp to be existing in our harmonized world. Which by the way, if we look at the word: 'Harmony' we would find 2 fascinating things within the sounding of the word:

1. Harmony - No Harm ->When Harmony is truly applied, there is no Harm.

2. Harm Money -> Money is the Root of all Harm isn't it?

 

HOWEVER - we cannot do it unless we understand what Real Care Imply; what Give as you would like to receive and Do unto another as you would like to be done unto you, is practically implies on a Best For all application and consideration; we cannot do it unless we understand our own Mind, our own Programming, our own reactions, thoughts, and automated behaviours and unless we walk our own process of Rebirthing ourselves as Life that is honourable, we would pass on to our children, our own generational sins without even realizing that we do so.

 

So here is to remind ourselves that there is no one to blame, not even ourselves and from here, all we have to do is to move directly to the Correction that is required to stop repeating the same generational patterns that had led us to create a world of Madness in its absolute glorification.

If you haven't already, I suggest reading through the Blog series: The correction Process and the Desteni Message as a 101 guidelines to understand what Programming Is, How we program ourselves, the difference between Honesty and Self Honesty, what does it mean to correct and change ourselves and why, etc.

 

If you are already ready to start investigating and introspecting yourself in all the level of the minds, I suggest walking the Free On-Line DIP Lite Course and start your process of Establishing the basic tools for Self Correction and Realization so that you could become the Seed of Life that would bring about Harmonized Life as a Living example.

 

Are we Aware of our Behavioural Development?–Day 339

Continuing with the Question Who is Responsible for our Children's Education?

If you haven't already, I suggest reading through the previous blogs:

 

This specific blog is a derivative of the following blogs:

Rejection as Parental Control? - Day 335

Rejections as Parental Authority - Day 336

The Quantum Mechanics behind the Child Natural Learning Abilities - Day 338

 

As we've seen in the Previous Blog, an innocence act like throwing balls towards a child to assist with developing the child's motor skills may follow consequential consequences when the child interpret the action within the equation: Throwing an object towards another = playful experience and accordingly, would believe that throwing objects towards their pets for instance, is going to be a cool game for both the child and the pet.

 

Within this blog, we will look at and investigate one more example to assist and support ourselves with tracing back our Behavioural patterns that were manifested on a physical Quantum mind already within the ages of 0-7. that would allow us to understand our children better and from that understanding, we could start developing a relationship with our children that is based on effective Communication.

 

So for instance, you know when you make yourself a cup of really good coffee? And when you make it, you do is so specific: specific amount of coffee, specific amount of milk, the way you stir the coffee with the Milk... it's like these rare moments that you treat yourself with your special way of making a cup of coffee.

Wouldn't you agree that in these moments, your entire expression is of satisfaction, perfection and absolute enjoyment?

 

That is the exact impression that the child would pick up and store within themselves to the extent of connecting for instance, the action of Stirring the coffee with the milk (without even knowing that the cup consists of any form of liquids, with Enjoyment, satisfaction and perfection. From here, what the child would attempt to do? Copy the parent expression and experience and the child would take a cup, an hour, a day or weeks later, and would stir the empty cup (or not empty) with a spoon, in such a force that the cup breaks and the child get cut/hurt.

 

You see, when I looked at the point, I've noticed that each one of us is stirring their cup in a different way without us even being aware that there is a form of 'uniqueness' within the way we stir the coffee cup. We have never questioned where this uniqueness is coming from and where have we learned this  natural ability.

We have not been aware that our children will copy our uniqueness of stirring the coffee cup as we have never been aware that we have most likely copied this specific action from our own parent.

Thus here is another point to pounder about - are we really unique within our expression or is our expression is nothing but a copied expression that we picked up from our environment without any awareness of even doing so?

 

So, with the child, coffee cup and ourselves -> a practical solution is to be aware in such moments when we do assumingly  meaningless actions that are so automated within ourselves and when we do so, the child is observing or being attentive to their surrounding. I would suggest that if the child is near by, make the coffee together - buy for the child a set of dishes that cannot be braked and let the child make a drink with you and while you do it, walk him through the process and develop a conversation with the child. You can show the child various types of ways to stir a cup, you can ask them to show you how they like stirring a cup.. There are so many creative things one can do with one's child in the kitchen. You'll be surprise what the child does understand even when the words and vocabulary are not yet in place.

 

Enjoy the process and share you feedback and/or if you wish to add any other examples, leave a message here or discuss it on the Forum.

Where did my Child learn to Behave like that? - Day 338

Continuing with the Question Who is Responsible for our Children's Education?

If you haven't already, I suggest reading through the previous blogs:

 

Who is Responsible for our Children's Education? - Day 332

Is the Zoo an Educational Experience for Children - Day 333

The Santa Claus Conspiracy - Can a Child Trust their Parents? - Day 334

Rejection as Parental Control? - Day 335

Rejections as Parental Authority - Day 336

Does the Education system Prepare the Children to Face the World - Day 337

 

 

In relation to the blog post: Rejections as Parental Authority - Day 336 - a few points to clarify as indicated in the following feedback I received from a friend who is a mother to a 2 years old boy:

 

"Maya I'm thinking constantly of the point of saying no to your child, and I felt quite bad, many times, when I had to say no. and I also think that a no without any explanation is wrong, but at a certain age the child does not understand what you are talking about and it seems to be better for parent and child if the little one just accepts the word NO. with 2 years my son is still not able to understand why he should not do something, like hitting the cat or dog. or throwing things at them, just cause it seems fun. and we never taught him to do so, he is not watching TV at all - seems like he is just trying things out. so I stopped explaining to him and simply tell him to stop/NO. if he doesn't stop I remove him from the place and put him into his room, at this point he is crying like hell. after a while he stops and comes out of the room. and this can happen again and again. it's really hard sometimes. I also respect his NO, I don't force him to drink or eat something if he says no.

you see, there is a point when you as a parent can make things even more worse with the explaining. the clear word NO and the action afterwards showing the child "this is not OK" by removing it from the place is in this kind of situation better. but that is my experience right now. I hope he will start to understand explanations soon, because LOL, I desperately want to explain him the world."

 

First of all, I'm grateful for this comment as it allowed me to realize that I've not walked this point effectively in showing the problem and  solutions that can be applied.

 

Secondly and more importantly, Please do not judge or feel guilty when reading these blogs because remember, while almost everything in this world requires a licence, parenting doesn't and non of us were ever prepared to walk such responsibility to the best of our ability. So here, I suggest to transform the inner judgement or guilt or feeling bad to a window of opportunity to look at things in different ways and accordingly, investigate and explore these points for oneself. Then, if the point isn't clear, let's discuss it again until we find the ultimate solutions that all of us can applied with ourselves and with our children.

 

Within this blog, I would specifically look at the question: where such behaviour, as was described by the mother above, are coming from and specifically when the TV isn't part in one's behaviour development since without TV, it would give us a clearer seeing of the 'time line' or the 'causes and affects', 'actions and responses' to see, realize and understand not only our children's behaviours but ourselves as well.

 

And before I start, let me emphasize again how crucial it is for every parent to invest in the Interview Series: Parenting - Perfecting the Human Race to be able to grasp the Quantum Mechanics involved within the Child Natural Learning Abilities from age 0-7.

 

So let's start - Let's take an example of a child that was never exposed at home to the Media, is only 2 years old and yet, picked up Behavioural components such as throwing stuff on pets or hitting them.

The child does not understand the difference between Playfulness and Harmfulness and in away, is innocence within their expression. There is no grudge or spite involves; there is no direct intention to do harm onto another and the child also does not have the words/vocabulary to understand the meaning of: "do not harm another".

 

So from where did the child pick up these behaviours that in time turned to be an harmful behaviours towards another? Let's have a look at the pattern of throwing stuff on pets. Now, let's place ourselves in the shoes of a 2 years old child and trace back our first impression where something was flying in the air towards us? What was that? It could be for example a little ball that a huge person, which later you were taught it was our parent, was throwing towards us and it hit our belly because we didn't know that we were supposed to catch the ball with our hands? And this huge person who kept on throwing the ball towards us was so happy in their expression that we have interpreted that experience into a simple equation: Throwing an object towards another = playful experience.

So from a child perspective, throwing stuff on the pet is a playful experience according to the data base of memories the child stored within and as themselves. From the child perspective, the pet's response would be equal to the parent response if we were to throw a ball towards the parent - enjoyable and playful response/expression.

 

So now we have a problem because we have shown our children, by example, that throwing stuff on/towards another is a playful and enjoyable experience and we haven't taken into consideration the outflows and consequences that this may lead to.

Thus, what do we know - we know how we created the problem and now we can start looking at solutions for that specific instance when a child throwing an object towards a pet.

 

Firstly, we start with our own self forgiveness because the tendency is to go now into blame, shame and judgement in realizing what we have done thus, let's take it out of the way before we move on to the next point.

Secondly, when or as we see our child throwing objects towards another being, whether it is a human, an animal or a toy, we first take a breath, make sure we are physically here, that we are stable, that there is no energetic movement within ourselves only we then we explain the child that throwing an object on the pet may harm it and that this behaviour is not acceptable. When we speak these words, we remain stable. If for instance, the child continue with their behaviour, we can divert their attention with another game/toy they could play with and if they didn't move to the next point, we divert them again towards the next point but our starting point is to make sure that no harm is done towards another being.

 

At some stage, the child would understand the difference between playfulness and harmfulness and until the point is here, we remain stable and consistently apply common sense in explaining the child what are the consequences of a harmful behaviour. Obviously, there would be cases when the child is completely possessed and won't stop crying when we remove the pet from their direct seeing, when we apply the attention diversion technic. If that occur, we remain stable and become affirm within our standing, within our voice tonality because we have develop absolute trust within ourselves and the principles we stand for and as which within that, what we would accept and allow and what you would not is clear to us. In this, slowly but surely, as the child grows, our communication would develop and become effective as we start walking with the child, in awareness. Remember, it is a process and it will take time, patience and practice until we establish our effectiveness as a parent.

 

Let's continue this discussion with more examples and solution in the next blog.

Rejections as Parental Authority - Day 336

Continuing with the Question Who is Responsible for our Children's Education?

If you haven't already, I suggest reading through the previous blogs:

 

Who is Responsible for our Children's Education? - Day 332

Is the Zoo an Educational Experience for Children - Day 333

The Santa Claus Conspiracy - Can a Child Trust their Parents? - Day 334

Rejection as Parental Control? - Day 335

 

 

A comment I received on my Previous blog: Rejection as Parental Control? - Day 335

 

"I agree to an extent. It is also key for the child to understand who is in authority. When explanation is constantly given; the child can view themselves as an equal to the parent and as entitled to an explanation and therefore justification to obey. That is a mistake."

 

Perspective:

 

If you haven't already, I suggest reading through Day 340: What is Authority? by creation's Journey to Life where it was explained in simple Common Sense What Real Authority is:

 

"Authority is the Taking of Responsibility to Produce a Form of Management, Government, Directive Principle and Outcome that is Best for Everyone…"

 

"...Authority is That which Life Grants Each One Equally, the Authority as Life…"

 

Within that context, what is Parental Authority?

 

"..An Authority in Parenting would be to Show the Child ‘What is Best,’ How to Coexist Best without Fear in Peace in Harmony with Everyone else, Without Abusing or Dominating another, Without Enslaving another through Fear.."

 

And as I've mentioned in my Previous blog:

 

"...The tendency of parents is to simply answer: "No" and "Because I said so", without any form of explanation, without showing the common sense behind the decision and without teaching the child how to look at all things and decides on that which is best. In that, what parents are normally missing is the understanding that with showing these things to the child, and stand as an example of how to Deal with Dilemmas, how to solve problems and more importantly, how to prevent a problem as a foundation/tool the child would effectively grow and expand themselves instead of becoming ineffective emotional machine that would shape and form their characters to either submit, rebel or suppress their experience of rejections.."

 

Within the context of the Comment above, it is implied that the child isn't equal and cannot be equal to their parents which is bizarre if one would look at it because: didn't the child come from the Flesh of their parents and thus, on a physical level, is equal to and one as the parent? So then thus, what separate the child from the Parent is the Belief that the child isn't equal to the parent so that the parent could superimpose their authority onto the child without realizing that this type of authority is abusive. Why?

 

When authority is used to perpetuate the inequality within the family structure, one do not see, realize and understand that one is in essence, doom their child to be and become ineffective human being in this world.

See, when the child doesn't receive explanation for the Parent's decision, the child would not learn how to expand their seeing through investigating all things and keep that which is best and accordingly, the child may develop the habit of accepting things as they are, even when it's not for the best and would thus, not question and see the relationships involve in any decision one is making, the outflows and the consequences. Thus, the child would not be able to evaluate and assess the problem one would face or more importantly, figure out in a practical manner how to prevent a problem from occurring.

Within this, the child would turn out to be dysfunctional being who is not able to develop reasoning thinking, common sense and become effective in this world which is exactly the reason why we live in a world where solutions and preventions is not part of our daily participation but rather, accepting the world system as it is despite of the abuse and suffering that is part is existing and a direct divertive of our world system, without ever investigate all things and keep that which is best for all.

 

What needs to be investigated is why the parents is unwilling to stand as their child's equal and walk as the Principle of Give as you would like to Receive. Meaning, if you place yourself in the shoes of your child: would you like to be given an answer such as "No, because I said so" without understanding the reason for the rejection, what is the starting point of the rejection and what was the parent looking at when making the decision to answer: "No.? I'm pretty sure you would not appreciate such a thing.

 

If one would look in self honesty, when we automatically say: "No" it is most often a reaction. Whether the reaction is coming from Fear of Past experiences, the reaction would deny us from looking in common sense at all the possibilities and outflows that are involved within a decision.

Our Children are very sensitive to their environment and therefore, within themselves, they would pick up whether or not we have been self honest and genuine in our answer/approach/decision. From there, the child would either accept or reject the Decision. Meaning, if the child accept the parent's self-dishonesty, the child would tend to submit and if the child reject the parent's Self-dishonesty, the child would try to manipulate or rebel. In both scenario, the actions and behaviour that would form a part in how the child would create their personality/character that would play a role in their adulthood lives when facing moments of decisions.

Here, I would suggest listening to Parenting - Perfecting the Human Race - Part 3 where it was specifically discussed the point of accepting or rejecting the Energies the child would pick up from their Parents words.

 

"...look at the consequences of a parent asserting authority over the child - as this is what has essentially made it possible for beings to exist as they are today because we raise our children to give in and/or give up their 'power' to authority, regardless of whether or not the being in an authority position is actually able to be trusted to take responsibility and make decisions that are for the best.  The teaching of 'understanding authority' leads to conflict within the individual because of the self-doubt and self-distrust as a result of being told that an authority figure is right and knows what is best - regardless of whether or not there is common sense…" (perspective written by a friend of mine who is a mother of 5 years old child)

 

So, what is behind the belief that the child is not our equals will be further discussed in blogs to come.