The Shyness Character - Day 104

This is a continuation to:

Suppressed Expression Character - Day 101

Suppressed Self Expression - The beginning of the End - Day 102

Singing Expression Character - Day 103

As well as:

This is a continuation to the Blog post:

The Self Diminishment Character - Day 94

They are Better than me, I'm so fucked up - Day 95

Taking responsibility for my creation - Day 96

I started to walk the Self Forgiveness on the Suppressed expression within singing Character and as I was finishing the first Self Forgiveness Statement, I've realized that I've created another dimension, another character that I must first identify to be able to walk as specific as possible. And thus, I will be walking the identification of the Shyness Character as a derivative of the Diminishment Character that I've walked a few days ago. For Reference, this is the statement that I've started of with where I found the Shyness Character:

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to become the Living Memory of the suppressed expression character within my singing expression and I haven't realized it is just another derivative of the Self Diminishment Character where I would first Create an idea about myself as a picture in my mind and then, I would compare myself to others who are able to apply a specific skill that I perceive myself to be lacking of/not good enough and accordingly, I would judge myself for not being as good as they are, not seeing, realizing and understanding the processed they have walked to establish and develop their skills as an example for me to walk the same process as they have walked and in this, I forgive myself that I have not seen, realized and understood how I have trapped myself within the diminishment character as suppressed expression character through creating the Shyness Character that would ensure I would not express myself as who I am in every given moment.

Identifying the Shyness Character:

1. Picture of the Character:

The Shyness Character looks like a little boy that is hiding behind the cupboard door, in the dark. His eyes are wide open as he is observing everything and everyone who are standing in the light but his body expression symbolizing a fear of stepping out of the hiding place and participate with the physical reality.

Another picture of the Character might be a child that is clinging on one's parents legs, with the head facing to the opposite direction of the beings that are trying to communicate with the child.

2. Back Chat:

• Who are those people?
• OMG, what will they say about me?
• I've got to make a good first impression
• Shit, how does my hair looks like?
• I should have wear the other shirt

• What if they judge the way I express myself?

• What if they won't like me?
• I worry that..

3. Reactions

• Shyness
• Embarrassment
• Judgement
• Fear
• Comparison
• Anxiety
• inferiority

4. Body changes

• Voice changes to high tones
• Smiling
• Looking down
• Playing with my hair
• Shoulder tight up
• Palm is in a fist position with the thumb inside it.

In essence, the Shyness character doesn't stand as individual character of its own but it is a derivative to one of the main characters that self has created, such as the diminishment character or the protector character. The Shyness character was created to protect self from what ever may come, as a door for self to escape the physical reality through inverting self into oneself, into one's illusionary reality, inside one's cocoon so to speak.

It is  fascinating  how the Shyness Character is  busy developing from a very young age and what is more fascinating is that parents see it and instead of stopping the child from creating the Shyness character, they assist the child with defining the character by giving it a name: "Oh, don't be Shy, it is your aunt"; "Oh, you are shy, so cute.."; and so, when the child is clinging onto the parents' legs, the parents encourage the child to continue developing the Shyness Character by accepting and allowing the child's manifestation of oneself. Why?? for what?? For the parents' self interest. The Back Chat that emerged within and as the moment when the child is clinging to one's parent's leg, the parent would experience satisfaction: "My child loves me, he feels safe and cared for with me", not seeing, realizing and understanding the extent of separation the parent's infuse within their child in that very moment through their acceptance and allowance of child accessing one's mind, as the expression of Shyness which will be and become an entity in one's life - the Shyness Character.

The Child, who is busy developing the Shyness Character to protect oneself from one's environment is doing so due to lack of one's parenting skill to assist and support the child with integrating into and as the physical in oneness and equality. Soon, the child will start developing back chats as per the example of the parents and would define the Shyness Character as oneself.

So the Shyness character, when and as it is fully developed and integrated into one's flesh, is exists as a protection mechanism from one's environment, due to extensive judgement of one's self in comparison to one's environment. It is when Self isn't standing in absolute Self Trust that self is the directive principle in every moment of every breath. It is when self is conditioned to the validation and acceptance of others and thus, self cannot stand alone, as who self is, here, but is constantly looking for stipulations and acknowledgements from one's environment.

Commonsensically , the feedback that the child receive from the parents when the child is clinging to the parents' legs, within and as the Shyness expression is: "You are safe and protected my child". So how will the child protect oneself later on in the child's life? Through becoming the Shyness Character to protect and guard oneself from the Environment.

When seeing, realizing and understanding that Self doesn't need anything and anyone to protect oneself from one's environment, as self is standing within and as self trust, in every moment of every breath, self can finally say goodbye to the Shyness Character through moving through the Character, deleting the pictures, memories and back chats and disengage the Character from and as the human physical body. But first, let's walk the Self Forgiveness process to make sure that self is clear, seeing the entire network manifestation of the character and from there - remove the character from self, as self.