Does your child really have a behaviour disorder? (Part 2) - Day 364

This is a continuation to Does your child really have a behaviour disorder? (Part 1) - Day 363 where the main question asked is: Who is Responsible for our Children's Education?

 

It is clear by now that most of the "psychological" problems that are now being qualified and identified as psychiatric problems that requires medication have nothing to do with the biology of the human physical body and thus, it is fair to assume that the problem isn't really the child's behaviour but rather the environment of the child and within that a dysfunctional education system and untrained parents that stand as an effective example for the child and yet again, instead of sorting out the core of the problem and prevent the problem from even manifesting, we jump into the quick fix solution by medicating the child and manipulating their parents that were never train to question the system, question the source of the problem but rather were trained to accept the flaws in the system and obey.

 

What has been defined as behaviour problems is a simple result of ineffective communication - the children that are eager to express themselves and have not yet developed an effective vocabulary to express themselves are behaving in ways that for us seems to be unacceptable because we judge that which we do not understand.

So, let's take an example of an ordinary events in a child's life and how it can influence the child's behaviour to a degree where the parents believe that there is something wrong with the child, without understanding how they are directly responsible for the child's "sudden" bad behaviour and therefore, with the belief that there is now something wrong with the child's behaviour, they will turn to the doctor that would very easily lable the child and may even medicate the child:

 

So, the child is young and the family owns a puppy. The mother throw a ball for the dog to catch and the dog catch the ball, very excited, bring the ball back so that the mom can throw the ball again which is what the mother obviously does because why not? It is a playful event. And while this is happening, the child is observing the event: the energies around, the mother expression, the dog expression and everyone are happy and having fun. Little do we know that in that very moment, what the child may also register in their mind as a memory is the movement made by the mother when she is throws the ball for the dog to catch. So now imagine for a moment what the movement can look like when the child do not have yet any previous knowledge or information regarding the implication of this playful event of throwing the ball. Yes, you guessed right, it does look like a arm going from the body, towards the skies, straightening up and going down. So from a child perspective that movement indicate a fun experience isn't it?

So now the child goes to the kindergarten and oooops, there is another kid playing with a ball that looks exactly like the ball the mother was playing with the dog just the other day. And now, a memory comes up and the kid may use their arm with a positive meaning attached to it however, the outcome may be very negative because now, the child hit the other child with the very same movement the mother did the other day when she playfully throw the ball for the dog to catch. And… the child is now showing "symptoms" of "wrongly" behaviour while all along, the child was sure that he was playing. But all the teachers in the kindergarten were reacting to the experience, and suddenly there is a total mess, children are crying, screaming and OMG, what just happen?? Oh, yes, we know, the child has behaviour problem.

 

So you see, we really do not know what innocent playful events can be interpreted by the child and we do not have the skills to make sure that every single input the child register is the input that would result with an output that is best for all and instead of investigating the cause of sudden "behaviour" problems, we react and immediately label the child as a violent child that requires medication to calm down.

 

More to come in the next blog.

Are we Aware of our Behavioural Development?–Day 339

Continuing with the Question Who is Responsible for our Children's Education?

If you haven't already, I suggest reading through the previous blogs:

 

This specific blog is a derivative of the following blogs:

Rejection as Parental Control? - Day 335

Rejections as Parental Authority - Day 336

The Quantum Mechanics behind the Child Natural Learning Abilities - Day 338

 

As we've seen in the Previous Blog, an innocence act like throwing balls towards a child to assist with developing the child's motor skills may follow consequential consequences when the child interpret the action within the equation: Throwing an object towards another = playful experience and accordingly, would believe that throwing objects towards their pets for instance, is going to be a cool game for both the child and the pet.

 

Within this blog, we will look at and investigate one more example to assist and support ourselves with tracing back our Behavioural patterns that were manifested on a physical Quantum mind already within the ages of 0-7. that would allow us to understand our children better and from that understanding, we could start developing a relationship with our children that is based on effective Communication.

 

So for instance, you know when you make yourself a cup of really good coffee? And when you make it, you do is so specific: specific amount of coffee, specific amount of milk, the way you stir the coffee with the Milk... it's like these rare moments that you treat yourself with your special way of making a cup of coffee.

Wouldn't you agree that in these moments, your entire expression is of satisfaction, perfection and absolute enjoyment?

 

That is the exact impression that the child would pick up and store within themselves to the extent of connecting for instance, the action of Stirring the coffee with the milk (without even knowing that the cup consists of any form of liquids, with Enjoyment, satisfaction and perfection. From here, what the child would attempt to do? Copy the parent expression and experience and the child would take a cup, an hour, a day or weeks later, and would stir the empty cup (or not empty) with a spoon, in such a force that the cup breaks and the child get cut/hurt.

 

You see, when I looked at the point, I've noticed that each one of us is stirring their cup in a different way without us even being aware that there is a form of 'uniqueness' within the way we stir the coffee cup. We have never questioned where this uniqueness is coming from and where have we learned this  natural ability.

We have not been aware that our children will copy our uniqueness of stirring the coffee cup as we have never been aware that we have most likely copied this specific action from our own parent.

Thus here is another point to pounder about - are we really unique within our expression or is our expression is nothing but a copied expression that we picked up from our environment without any awareness of even doing so?

 

So, with the child, coffee cup and ourselves -> a practical solution is to be aware in such moments when we do assumingly  meaningless actions that are so automated within ourselves and when we do so, the child is observing or being attentive to their surrounding. I would suggest that if the child is near by, make the coffee together - buy for the child a set of dishes that cannot be braked and let the child make a drink with you and while you do it, walk him through the process and develop a conversation with the child. You can show the child various types of ways to stir a cup, you can ask them to show you how they like stirring a cup.. There are so many creative things one can do with one's child in the kitchen. You'll be surprise what the child does understand even when the words and vocabulary are not yet in place.

 

Enjoy the process and share you feedback and/or if you wish to add any other examples, leave a message here or discuss it on the Forum.