This is a continuation to:
For the purpose of context, suggest reading these posts above prior to reading the post below, if you haven’t already. Here I will be walking the 'I don't have TIME' Character - Internal Conversation/ back chat Dimension - Practical support with Self Forgiveness and Self Commitments.
Here, one must understand that the Back chat, are the source of all Evil wherein, what one accepting and allowing within oneself, within the belief that no one will ever find out, is nasty and evil shit. Therefor, I will be walking back chat by back chat, in making sure I purify myself from the Evil that I've accepted and allowed within myself, in the context of the ' I don't have Time' Character.
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Look at X - X is working much harder then me, X is studying, working, walking the responsibilities X committed to, sleeping for 2-3 hours - if X can do it, I must do it and stop complaining.
Within this backchat my starting point is still in comparison that was activated within a reaction towards the idea/opinion that I don't have enough time. Thus, instead of utilizing X as an Example and within that reminding myself that there is an example that I can learn from and perfect myself to stand as Equal to this being, I participated in this backchat from the starting point of calming myself down, after a series of previous backchat that were more self destructive in nature.
As I've mentioned in my Previous blog - Standing as an example doesn't mean standing as more or less than anyone else, standing as an example is a self expression within the realization of: This is who I am, this is why I am here and this is how I decide to walk my life in assisting and support myself as others within the principle of Give as You would Like to Receive and as I received the Gift of having people in my Life that are standing as an example of what I could be and become, I make the decision for and as myself to walk my Own process in becoming that which I can become and so, as I walk my process, I'm Giving that which I received by standing as Example as an expression of myself.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that having a backchat within the nature of calming self down is Valid and within that, haven't realized how I've manipulated myself within the belief that calming myself down through Thoughts is supportive and accordingly haven't investigated the nature of the backchat, what is behind the backchat and what is the backchat imply regarding to who I am within that moment. I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that calming myself down with thoughts is still done within a reaction and not in complete and absolute self movement of seeing what I have accepted and allowed myself to participate with and to accordingly, as I see, realize and understand the point, moving through this, bring myself here, BREATHE and keep on going.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to a being that I perceive to be better than me, as a motivator Key to how I would move and direct myself through Thoughts within and as myself, not seeing, realizing and understanding that this being is simply an example of self movement that shows me that once a decision is made in absolute self honesty and clarity, self is effective within and as oneself which reflect in what one do, as an expression of who one is.
In this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the starting point within having a comparative back chat within and as myself and its relationship to the Diminishment character that I've created within and as myself wherein, I've Utilized a comparison point to "Remind" myself how I'm not good enough because there are others who are better than me and thus, I must not complain and simply do the work. In that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how through calming myself down in such away, through suppressing the 'I don't have time' Character, I had Shifted to the 'Diminishment Character' instead of assisting and supporting myself in standing within and as myself, so absolute and directive, in letting all of this Go, Breathe and move on.
A suggested reading to clarify the relationship between comparison and self diminishment:
The Self Diminishment Character - Day 94
They are Better than me, I'm so fucked up - Day 95
Taking responsibility for my creation - Day 96
" I don't understand how Y is doing what she is doing; I mean seriously, she is like a super woman.
What the fuck is wrong with me? why can't I simply apply myself breath by breath and have things done? Why I'm always complaining and blaming and being jealous.
What is "Wrong" with me is now the 'Diminishment' Character in full action that I had accepted and allowed myself to access to and give all my power away. So here, Despite of me noticing within and as myself that I compare, and complain, and blame and all of it through Jealousy, I still accept and allow this energy, this possessed entity to exists within and as me.
So, being so all mighty in my Previous back that that was discussed in Standing as an Example - Self Interest or Self Realization? - Day 214, to comparing myself to X, I slowly but surely went from the Polarity of being superior towards those that I've diminished in my mind, those that I had defined as ineffective in comparison to my "effectiveness", I now went into the other polarity, seeing my ineffectiveness in comparison to X and then I conclude that I'm worthless through the comparison to Y - that is how the Diminishment Character works and functions which I again suggest reading (Day 94-96)
I Commit myself to assist and support myself to STOP bouncing from one character to the other through NOT accepting and allowing myself any backchat whatsoever within and as my mind. I understand that it is going to take a process of Breath Accumulation and so, I commit myself to Remain Humble within and as myself, to not accept and allow myself to judge and be hard on myself and to simply, walk the layers of the mind, as it reveal itself, slowly but Surely.
I Commit myself to establish Self Respect within and as myself and to stop Diminishing myself and others within and as my mind as I see, realize and understand the Evil that exists within and as the Diminishment of others and I now walk the correction, Stop Comparing, competing, judging and spiting other people and myself, within and as my mind. Thus, When and as I see a backchat comes up, where I compare, judge, diminish and spite myself and others, I stop, I breathe, Delete and move on. I see, realize and understand that temptation would come and it is up to me to decide, in any given moment of breath whether I respect myself and others in self honesty, or whether I accept and allow the Evil nature of me to take over in absolute possession and so - I commit myself to assist and support myself to Decide, over and over and over again, to stand as Life until I no longer require to remind myself as I'm the living expression of Life that is best for all.
