I've been looking at
this point for quite a while. In fact, I started looking at it when I saw that
I am holding past mistakes against people whom I judged, and in doing so, I saw
that I didn't support them to move to a point of change.
For example, the
judgement could come through a point of 'expectation' meaning, expecting
someone to not change because their past action showedthat their application can't be trusted. I
saw that I was expecting people to fail
in changing a pattern they have been struggling to change and instead of
holding their utmost potential of who they are, I've been reacting to the fact
they haven't been changing.
enough - what I did not see was how at the same time I've been expecting them
to fail, I failed. That was because I always reacted to them not changing lol.
And in that reaction, I didn't move myself to a point of change in the sense of
stop reacting and stand as a point of support for them, with the pattern they
are struggling to change.
IN other words, it
was never about them not changing, it was about me not changing that I was
mostly reacting to.
In looking at these
things, another question came up. I usually don't ask metaphysical level
questions because I can't answer the questions for myself but this one was
interesting because the possibility the answer was 'yes' was big enough
motivation for me to explore this option. I asked: "Is the reason why they
don't change is because I'm not changing my reaction to them not
So now that the
focus shifted completely to me I was looking at my self-honesty, responsibility
and empowerment, and asked: where do I keep myself captive in my own mind? What
are the patterns that I'm struggling to change? What ideas or judgement do I have
about myself through which I keep myself locked in my own mind?
I turned the point
back to myself and explored and still exploring and investigating the moments
of self-judgement where I keep myself captive in my own mind and thus not
allowing myself any moment of grace that could actually lead to a point of real
is actually this blog post that is the introduction to a blog series that I
wrote: "Do I have the right to judge myself?". I will continue discussing and sharing more as it comes and for
now, let's have a look or even make a list of all the moments we've been
keeping ourselves captive in our minds due to self-judgement we've accepted and
allowed to beLIEve to be real. Then, we'll set ourselves free from our own
judgement with the support of specific self-help tools we can each apply for
ourselves - Self Forgiveness, commitment to change and most importantly, the
follow through with our commitment to change until we have, no matter how long
it will take.