Don't you Dare Blaming me - Day 244

 

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to react and access defense mode when and as someone is directly or indirectly blaming me for their Negative Experience and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to Realize that when allow myself to React and take their Blame Personally, I accept and allow myself to embody energetic system into and as me, that I feed with my attention I give it through my emotions and feelings, which is really, a (re)act of insanity wherein, one is accepting and allowed oneself to embed energy systems that wasn't previously existent within and as oneself but now, making the system one's own, which now, one has a bigger problem as one has to go back, investigate one's acceptance and allowance and correct oneself.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to program myself to (Re)act when someone is directly or indirectly blaming me for their negative experience that they have associated with me and within that, haven't investigated why and how I have programmed myself, when did I first stored and installed this program and what is the Self Interest starting point of this Programming because obviously, if I accepted this programming as myself, there was something i believed I would benefit from.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I react to another blaming me for their own Negative Experience, I do not stand as a pillar of support, both for myself and another because when I am in a reaction within a defense mode, trying to justify myself or fight for my righteous believes about myself and at the same time, the other will fight for their right to make their point while neither of us is actually inverting the points of reactions back to ourselves in seeing, realizing and understanding why and how we have accepted and allowed the reaction to exists within and as ourselves and accordingly, stand as the directive principle and make the decision to not accept and allow ourselves to participate in such reactions as we see, realize and understand that accepting and allowing these reactions to continue, we accept and allow ourselves to disempower and diminish ourselves which within that, become lesser version of ourselves than who we really are as an expression of ourselves.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to program myself to react and take things personally when another is blaming me or having some sort of attitude towards my presence which within that, what I haven't considered and/or realized for myself is that when and as I take the other personally, I validate their experience by making it my own, and in that moment of acceptance and allowance, I disempower myself through not standing in stability and clarity, as Breath, within and as myself, and thus, cannot support myself or the other as I'm already in a mind fuck of my own.

 

I thus Commit myself to assist and support myself in investigating in depth the design of Reaction that I've created within and as myself and within that, investigate the multidimensionality of the design so that I could for once and for all, stop all reactions within and as myself, to assist and support myself to be and become an effective human beings in this world where I stand in any given moment as a pillar of support for myself and others.

 

I Commit myself to investigate the Reaction Games that I had accepted and allowed within and as myself to participate within the relationships that I have with other human beings in this world as I see now that when and as I accept and allow myself to react and take things personally, I accept and allow my own disempowerment, diminishment and thus, compromise of myself and others.

 

I Commit myself to Flag the points of Reaction when it occur and to remind myself that accepting and allowing myself to communicate while and within a reaction is useless and counterproductive and in no way a form of support for myself nor others.

Process of self perfection - overview - Day 70

 

For Context, Read - "The 8 Stages of Process" by Bernard Poolman - Interviews from the Desteni Farms.

 

 

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, understand and LIVE self Patient within a breath by breath Living expression because I've believed that everything must and required to be experience and/or done NOW and if it's not happening NOW, something isn't right. Within that, what I've failed to realize was that Self Perfection is a breath by breath process of accumulation within the physical space/time reality; a process of self dedication, devotion and will to assist and support oneself to for once and for all, perfect oneself as a human being through facing one's acceptance and allowances, correct oneself and practically change which through that, one will step out of one's mind and build, program and design oneself as the a Physical living human being in every moment of every breath.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that self perfection is a process of accumulation which takes time; it took us years to program ourselves in the nature of that which we have become; it will take us years to de-program and Re-program ourselves within and as Equality and Oneness as self expression of who we are as Life that is best for all.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to consider that self perfection is an absolute breath by breath self application as a physical living expression, where one is directing oneself in one's practical and active participation in this world within a clear decision and principle which one stand by, no matter what.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to embrace the physical fact that self perfection isn't happening over night; just like that; over night;  but rather a self will, in absolute dedication within and as a clear decision that one has made for oneself wherein, one is walking as principle, in every moment of every breath, within a process of self forgiveness in self honesty, a process of stopping pattern by pattern until one becomes Nothing; which only from Nothingness, one is able to start applying Equality in self perfection through a real understanding of creation and how, within the limited space/time reality one can perfect oneself as equal to and one as existence as a whole.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted ad allowed myself to embrace myself as well as being humble within and as myself and thus walk my process patiently, breath by breath, stopping pattern by pattern, within the realization that self Perfection is a process of accumulation of breath by breath corrections within one's application wherein one see, realize and understand one's programming and thus, take the responsibility to deprogram and re-create oneself (reprogram) within and as principles of Equality and Oneness as that which is best for all.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to push myself to perfection without understanding self perfection and I haven't realize that within that, my starting point wasn't absolutely clear as an expression of who I am, but rather a part of a personalities that I've created for myself within the desire of self validation and the validation of others.

 

I commit myself to walk in patient my process of self perfection and absolute self will, dedication and devotion.

 

I commit myself to get myself back to nothingness within my Journey to become LIFE as my day to day commitment of assisting and supporting myself to see, realize and understand who I have become as a programmed set of patterns that I've defined myself as, to deprogram myself through Self Forgiveness in self honesty and to Reprogram myself within Equality and Oneness From Nothingness to LIFE.

 

I commit myself to perfection within Oneness and Equality through a process of stopping my self as the mind that I've defined myself as and to create myself as LIFE that is best for all.

 

I commit myself to embrace and acknowledge myself as who I have become and within that, stop self judgement when and as a I face a point within and as myself and thus, I stand in humbleness towards myself and others as myself. I realize that self perfection is a process that I walk breath by breath and it cannot be forced but can be directed by me as a principle of what I stand for and as.

The Secret War between Women - Daughter in War with Authority - Part 4 - Day 56

This is a continuation to:

The Secret War between Women - Overview - Day 52

The Secret war between Women - the Childhood years - Part 1 - Day 53

The Secret War between Women starts at home - Part 2 - Day 54

The Secret War between Women - Mother Daughter relationship - Part 3 - Day 55

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create an inferiority response pattern to authority figures in my life from my first encounter with my mother's imposed authority onto me as a child and I have NOT realized that I've imprinted the response pattern into my physical and lived it out as back chat throughout my life when and as I felt threatened by a female's authority and have thus then, allowed the secret thoughts towards the female without even realize that I had no directive awareness in that moment and I was blindly following my pre-programming and within that, I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to take my responsibility to investigate and introspect the origin/source of the subconscious backchat that I've manifested towards a female that I perceived as authority and simply accepted it to be natural response that comes up from within me.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to react in a form of backchat/internal conversation/thoughts towards women that I perceive to have authority over me and I haven't stopped for a moment to bring the point back to myself, to investigate the origin of the resistance and the core of my allowed backchat, because If I would investigate, I would see how I've accepted and allowed a specific  response pattern in relation to authority figures  already in my childhood years where I've resisted my mother's authority and have thus externalized the resistance towards all women that represent my mother according to my eye's view, in separation of me.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself as a child in this world to experience myself as inferior towards my mother because I've accepted the authority of my mother as valid, normal and natural and thus, have created a relationship with her that is based on authority/submission which within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that my acceptance of me as inferior during the age of 0-7, has become a physical memory that is in the flesh of my beingness which I've externalized within my relationship with women to such an extent that when and as I experience myself threatened, the memories from my subconscious mind will come up as a backchat/internal conversation/ thoughts towards a woman while I had no real understanding of the origin/core/source and thus, lived out the secret war between Woman - internally and externally.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to stand up and stop the inferior response pattern to authority and allowed myself to react every time I've faced a being that I've perceived to be superior/has authority on me and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that unless I stop pattern by pattern, I will pass on the very same patterns to my children and they will pass them on to their children and thus, it is my responsibility to stand up, change myself and thus change the future of the generations that will comes after me by giving them a chance to express who they are without me imposing my own programmed designs onto them but rather stand as a stable support for them within their processes of becoming and standing as LIFE.

I commit myself to stop the inferiority response  to authority pattern as I realized how I've initially created the pattern as a child and my responsibility within and the consequences it if I won't stop, delete and correct myself as the outflows upon the generation to come.

I commit myself to take my responsibility and check and investigate every reactions, response, physical body movements and eyes movement that I have automated without my directive awareness and search for the source/origin/core point where I've initially created the pattern and accordingly delete and continue walking breath by breath.

I commit myself to show how and why in the first 7 years of the child's life, the child is creating and developing one's personalities through the examples of the patterns   and why thus, it is important to have programs to support all parents with having appropriate parenting skills so that we could stop passing on, generation after generation, patterns that do not support any LIFE and instead provide the children to come a LIFE that is actually worth living where they could express themselves as who they are.