Don't you Dare Blaming me - Day 244

 

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to react and access defense mode when and as someone is directly or indirectly blaming me for their Negative Experience and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to Realize that when allow myself to React and take their Blame Personally, I accept and allow myself to embody energetic system into and as me, that I feed with my attention I give it through my emotions and feelings, which is really, a (re)act of insanity wherein, one is accepting and allowed oneself to embed energy systems that wasn't previously existent within and as oneself but now, making the system one's own, which now, one has a bigger problem as one has to go back, investigate one's acceptance and allowance and correct oneself.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to program myself to (Re)act when someone is directly or indirectly blaming me for their negative experience that they have associated with me and within that, haven't investigated why and how I have programmed myself, when did I first stored and installed this program and what is the Self Interest starting point of this Programming because obviously, if I accepted this programming as myself, there was something i believed I would benefit from.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I react to another blaming me for their own Negative Experience, I do not stand as a pillar of support, both for myself and another because when I am in a reaction within a defense mode, trying to justify myself or fight for my righteous believes about myself and at the same time, the other will fight for their right to make their point while neither of us is actually inverting the points of reactions back to ourselves in seeing, realizing and understanding why and how we have accepted and allowed the reaction to exists within and as ourselves and accordingly, stand as the directive principle and make the decision to not accept and allow ourselves to participate in such reactions as we see, realize and understand that accepting and allowing these reactions to continue, we accept and allow ourselves to disempower and diminish ourselves which within that, become lesser version of ourselves than who we really are as an expression of ourselves.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to program myself to react and take things personally when another is blaming me or having some sort of attitude towards my presence which within that, what I haven't considered and/or realized for myself is that when and as I take the other personally, I validate their experience by making it my own, and in that moment of acceptance and allowance, I disempower myself through not standing in stability and clarity, as Breath, within and as myself, and thus, cannot support myself or the other as I'm already in a mind fuck of my own.

 

I thus Commit myself to assist and support myself in investigating in depth the design of Reaction that I've created within and as myself and within that, investigate the multidimensionality of the design so that I could for once and for all, stop all reactions within and as myself, to assist and support myself to be and become an effective human beings in this world where I stand in any given moment as a pillar of support for myself and others.

 

I Commit myself to investigate the Reaction Games that I had accepted and allowed within and as myself to participate within the relationships that I have with other human beings in this world as I see now that when and as I accept and allow myself to react and take things personally, I accept and allow my own disempowerment, diminishment and thus, compromise of myself and others.

 

I Commit myself to Flag the points of Reaction when it occur and to remind myself that accepting and allowing myself to communicate while and within a reaction is useless and counterproductive and in no way a form of support for myself nor others.

Holding onto a Grudge - Day 230

This a continuation to:

From Evilness to Life - Day 226

The seclusion in Inclusion - Day 227

Seeing the Evil Nature in Dreams - Day 229

 

So, the dream that I shared yesterday opened up a point within the Evil context that one wouldn't usually consider within and as oneself, in one's relationships to other human beings in one's world - How we Keep and Store Past Memory Events where we felt Betrayed and/or hurt by our Friend/Sibling/Parents/Partner/Co-worker, which then, we would utilize the Past Memory Negative Experience, the moment we feel threatened, to justify to ourselves why it is ok to behave and treat the other with Spite and/or Distrust.

 

What we haven't realized is - so long as we accept and allow ourselves to keep and store Past Negative Memories as an Experience, our Relationships with other human being wouldn't stand the test of time. Sure, one can continue to suppress the Negative Experience towards the other being but slowly but surely, the Experience would accumulate till a moment where everything would burst out where one would make the decision - Face the point and sort the relationship out regardless of the outcome or to suppress the point again, make fake peace and continue the relationship as it was, till the next outbreak. 

 

What I've seen within and as myself was that the relationship never get to a point of 'Peace' again because there is a constant movement within and as me, when being around the beings that I've associated them with a Negative Past Experience and within this, I would always expect the worse case scenario of them hurting or betraying me again  and accordingly, would never accept and allow myself to trust them. Interestingly enough, I never looked at the point of self trust within that context and why it is that I would always engage into relationships within the expectation of getting hurt and within that, the fears that I carry from the past that would drive me to participate in the same patterns, manifesting the same consequences, over and over again.

 

As I'm writing, I see that this point is a multi-dimensional point that would require further investigation and introspection. Unfortunately, I won't be able to go into it today, in physical space time consideration within the level of specificity that I would like to walk, . So, I will continue with myself for a moment and will share tomorrow the points that I've seen, realized and understood within and as myself so stay tuned.

 

Investigating Sexual Expression - Part 2 - Day 121

This is a continuation to:

Sexual Expression – Overview  Day 112

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Forgiveness Part 1 - Day 113

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Commitments - Part 1 - Day 114

 

A few days ago, I was writing about the Negative Charge within the words Sex, Fuck and so forth and today, I will continue with looking and investigating the Positive Charge that we have attached for example, to the words: Romance, Making Love, Love etc.

 

It is interesting to see, how we are only working/writing/dealing with that which makes us feel uncomfortable and we disregards that which makes us feel good, better, superior. Meaning, why should I investigate that which makes me feel good? Why can't I only get rid of the negative feeling within and as myself? Why do I need to stop the positive energy within and as myself? I don't want to.. Lol. That is a common statement that I hear from many beings - "you are so negative! You have to fight the human nature with positivity! All you need is Love". Is it? If that is so, why we have defined sex and making Love with a polarity charge despite of the fact that it describe the same thing? And obviously, if Love is all we need, how come there is so much abuse in this world. (for context watch my vlog 2012 - LOVE Month - Is Love and Light the Solution?

The Polarity design of energy was explained in details in Earth's Journey to Life - Day 5: Redefining Words (Part 2) - Playing polarity games

 

Why is it that making LOVE is accepted and Sex/fuck isn't? I mean, seriously, that is the exact same thing. why are we reactive in a positive way to the words 'Making Love' and reacting in a negative way to the words sex/fuck?

 

So, why is it that Making Love and Romance is Ok? Is Positive? Is allowed? While the fact of the matter is that the physical act remain the same - 2 human beings fucking each other.. Lol

Why is it wrong to Make Love with ourselves? Why is it shameful to create an environment for ourselves, alone, candles in one's room, clean sheets, quite music, maybe some essential oil burners and simply touch ourselves, becoming intimate with our physical body? Why is it that when touching oneself in a warm, candle light, music environment is suddenly sound bad/wrong when we called the physical touch - Masturbation. Oh no, god forbid saying this word. 

 

In self honesty, one can look within oneself at the physical body changes when hearing the words Fuck vs. hearing the words Making love. The word Fuck comes with disgusted, constriction in the belly area, the face constricting as well and specifically in the mouth reign and our entire human physical body yells: "NO, it's awful, don't say that". However, when hearing the word 'Making Love' the body expand, like breathing from the inside, smile suddenly automatically emerge and warm and positive energy moves within and as us from the belly area towards the heart.  Fascinating isn't it?

 

This shows the extent of separation that we've allowed within and as ourselves in relation to how we LIVE the WORDS we speak and hear. How for each and every word we assigned/associated/connected/defined with either positive or negative charge. For more information with regards to the Living words and redefining of words, I suggest reading Earth's Journey to Life - Day 4: Redefining words - Part 1.

 

Within my following blogs, I will walk the positive energy charge that is associated to the word Love in relation to sex and masturbation through a process of self forgiveness and self corrective/commitments statements.