Jun 8, 2012 | By: A Woman

The Secret War between Women - Daughter in War with Authority - Part 4 - Day 56

This is a continuation to:


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I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create an inferiority response pattern to authority figures in my life from my first encounter with my mother's imposed authority onto me as a child and I have NOT realized that I've imprinted the response pattern into my physical and lived it out as back chat throughout my life when and as I felt threatened by a female's authority and have thus then, allowed the secret thoughts towards the female without even realize that I had no directive awareness in that moment and I was blindly following my pre-programming and within that, I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to take my responsibility to investigate and introspect the origin/source of the subconscious backchat that I've manifested towards a female that I perceived as authority and simply accepted it to be natural response that comes up from within me.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to react in a form of backchat/internal conversation/thoughts towards women that I perceive to have authority over me and I haven't stopped for a moment to bring the point back to myself, to investigate the origin of the resistance and the core of my allowed backchat, because If I would investigate, I would see how I've accepted and allowed a specific  response pattern in relation to authority figures  already in my childhood years where I've resisted my mother's authority and have thus externalized the resistance towards all women that represent my mother according to my eye's view, in separation of me.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself as a child in this world to experience myself as inferior towards my mother because I've accepted the authority of my mother as valid, normal and natural and thus, have created a relationship with her that is based on authority/submission which within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that my acceptance of me as inferior during the age of 0-7, has become a physical memory that is in the flesh of my beingness which I've externalized within my relationship with women to such an extent that when and as I experience myself threatened, the memories from my subconscious mind will come up as a backchat/internal conversation/ thoughts towards a woman while I had no real understanding of the origin/core/source and thus, lived out the secret war between Woman - internally and externally.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to stand up and stop the inferior response pattern to authority and allowed myself to react every time I've faced a being that I've perceived to be superior/has authority on me and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that unless I stop pattern by pattern, I will pass on the very same patterns to my children and they will pass them on to their children and thus, it is my responsibility to stand up, change myself and thus change the future of the generations that will comes after me by giving them a chance to express who they are without me imposing my own programmed designs onto them but rather stand as a stable support for them within their processes of becoming and standing as LIFE.

I commit myself to stop the inferiority response  to authority pattern as I realized how I've initially created the pattern as a child and my responsibility within and the consequences it if I won't stop, delete and correct myself as the outflows upon the generation to come.

I commit myself to take my responsibility and check and investigate every reactions, response, physical body movements and eyes movement that I have automated without my directive awareness and search for the source/origin/core point where I've initially created the pattern and accordingly delete and continue walking breath by breath.

I commit myself to show how and why in the first 7 years of the child's life, the child is creating and developing one's personalities through the examples of the patterns   and why thus, it is important to have programs to support all parents with having appropriate parenting skills so that we could stop passing on, generation after generation, patterns that do not support any LIFE and instead provide the children to come a LIFE that is actually worth living where they could express themselves as who they are.

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