Unconditional Giving and Receiving or a Control System? (Part 2) - Day 270

This is a continuation to the Previous blog: Unconditional Giving and Receiving or a Control System? - Day 269

Where I wrote:

 

"...When looking at this point as a design, or the origin of the Design, as everything - all start at home where parents give their children gifts and expect in return the child to either be a good child, to do what was asked them to do, to be who they are expected to be which within that, the Child, as the Receiver feel obligated to Give something back to the parents. Often, the child doesn't really want to do or become what the parent wants them to do, be and become, but they do want to receive the gifts/rewards despite them knowing the Consequences it involves. Slowly but surely the demand from the parents makes the child feel slight anxiety and discomfort that would fade away and suppressed. And so, the Parents would control the child through a rewards system in a disguised of Unconditional Giving and if at any point the child rebel, the parents would always remind the child about the rewards the child had received and all the things the parents did for the child throughout time as a manipulation tactic to bring the Rebellion child back in track…"

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that parents unconditionally give to their kids without understanding the Quantum Mechanics that involves with such Giving as a mean and a method to Control the children and zombified them into automated machines that would always follow the parents want, need and desire without ever investigating what it is that they would like to be, become and exists as, as an expression of themselves.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to Believe that children owe their parents and thus must give something back when they receive a reward, benefit or a gift from the parents and within that, haven't realized that within that context, Giving a reward for 'Good behaviour' for instance, is how the parent would manipulate the Child to suppress, ignore and deny who the Child IS as an Expression of oneself and to instead, become the child/person the parent want the kid to be, according to the Parent value system, belief system and so forth.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to feel obligated to do what my parents wanted me to do because they have been so loving and caring with the rewards, gifts and benefits that I received throughout my life but within that, I haven't considered and even ignored the fact that these rewards where controlling me into becoming a limited version of myself, tied to other people wishes, wants and needs without ever in fact discovering who I am and what is it that I truly want from myself and my Life.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed the Rewards and the Benefits I received, despite of me knowing what it would entail and what of me I would have to scarify to be able to continue winning the rewards and benefits. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to Experience Anxiety and Discomfort when receiving these rewards and benefits because in self honesty, I knew that I compromising and limiting myself as now I had to give something back, a part of myself that I've separated myself from.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to store the Experience of Anxiety and Discomfort when Receiving a Reward as a Condition to specific Behaviour I must apply or a Decision I must make and thus, when and as I Received from another, the Memory activated and generated the Experience of Anxiety and Discomfort within and as my human physical body.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to falling into the manipulation trap when beings that gave me a reward, benefit or a gift in the past, are now bringing up this memory of them giving me a reward, benefit, gift to influence my Decisions so that my Decisions would be aligned with their Self Interest rather walking as a Principle of that which is best for all Lives. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to instead of directly seeing the manipulation and direct the moment effectively, to activate guilt within and as myself within the belief that I must give back because I've initially Received.

 

 I commit myself to SHOW parents that what they MUST Give their Children is Life Skills to empower, grow and expand themselves through a process of Self Discovery instead of giving them Rewards and Benefits that would limit and suppress the physical Expression of who they really are.

 

I commit myself to show that the Reward system within the Parent/Child relationship is an attempt to Control and Enslave the child into becoming the Exact duplicate of their parents while suppressing the Child's beingness as a physical Expression of oneself.

 

I commit myself to Further investigate my relationship to/with the Principle: Give as You'd like to Receive and within that, to turn the point back to myself to see how I've abused and used the Principle to support my own self interest desires and thus, never really give to anyone unconditionally.

 

I commit myself to walk as the LIVING WORDS of the Principle Give as you would like to Receive as I see, realize and understand now that unless I change my living application and stand by/as principle, no real change is ever possible when looking at the Equality Equation: 1+1=2.

Unconditional Giving and Receiving or a Control System? - Day 269

 

 

I'm seeing lately more and more that I've created issues around the Principle of Give as you'd like to Receive which made me look more carefully and deeply into my starting point in relation to living principle of 'Give as you'd like to Receive'. Interestingly enough, the reactions that I experience are more in the context of the Receiver than the Giver however, what is more interesting is that the issues around the Receiver were actually derived from the issues around the Giver.

 

What I've noticed was that when I Receive, I experience discomfort in my body, like anxiety almost. It's like, the moment I receive, I immediately go into the thought domain where I would see all the potentials and possibilities for me to Give back as if now, I must Give something back and unless I Give, I can't fully stand stable, Here, enjoy the moment, breathe - because I must give back.

 

For instance - if let's say, someone is offering to give me a massage because I had back pain or because they discovered a new pressure point in their back and now they want to show me the point while massaging, I go into anxiety. It is very slight anxiety but very much constant. If for instance, someone offers me a coffee or something to eat, I would immediately start calculating whether I should accept it because maybe it means that the next time I make myself a cup of coffee or something to eat, I should ask anyone around me if they would like so too. Or if someone buys me a gift, or a small thing that they know I would be pleased with, the anxiety kicks in again. I would then start calculating how much money I have to be able to gift them something back. And in sex as well, I never really allowed myself to Enjoy being 'treated' because I believed I would have to give back and then, I would give back according to the amount of time that I received. Quite fucked up story.

 

When looking at this point as a design, or the origin of the Design, as everything - all start at home where parents give their children gifts and expect in return the child to either be a good child, to do what was asked them to do, to be who they are expected to be which within that, the Child, as the Receiver feel obligated to Give something back to the parents. Often, the child doesn't really want to do or become what the parent wants them to do, be and become, but they do want to receive the gifts/rewards despite them knowing the Consequences it involves. Slowly but surely the demand from the parents makes the child feel slight anxiety and discomfort that would fade away and suppressed. And so, the Parents would control the child through a rewards system in a disguised of Unconditional Giving and if at any point the child rebel, the parents would always remind the child about the rewards the child had received and all the things the parents did for the child throughout time as a manipulation tactic to bring the Rebellion child back in track.

 

(Will continue in my next blog)

The Secret War between Women - Mother Daughter relationship - Part 3 - Day 55

This is a continuation to:

The Secret War between Women - Overview - Day 52

The Secret war between Women - the Childhood years - Part 1 - Day 53

The Secret War between Women starts at home - Part 2 - Day 54

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the influential consequences of the dynamics between the Mother/Daughter relationship and the secret war between Women, where the first War would be between the Mother and the child for example would manifest when and as the child 'perceives' the authority of the mother to be too rigid/not understanding/unsupportive and would then thus, develop back chat towards the mother which eventually externalized and become a habit in one's life towards other female that represent the mother figure in one's life.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself as a mother in this world to use my authority upon my child without walking with them the time line so that they could see the common sense equality equations for themselves and I have failed to realized that when I'm playing the authority game with them, it is inevitable they will create a resistance towards me and would then thus,  develop their rebellion war against me as a response to my authority game - the beginning of the Secret War between Women.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself, as a mother in this world, to for example, superimpose my fears onto my daughter and would forbid her to participate in social gathering which I've defined as inappropriate or dangerous without taking a moment to look in a practical common sense way whether my fears has any ground in the physical reality due to me that have inherited my fears from my parents which then influenced me within how I would direct points in my world instead of supporting myself to first turn the point back to myself, allocate my starting point and support myself to see the points directly through practical Self Forgiveness and corrective application.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself as a mother in this world to NOT realize, that by not communicating with my daughter through explaining in common sense why I believe that my daughter should not walk a specific path and thus forbid her from walking it by using my mother authority, my daughter will resist my authority and create a backchat/thoughts/internal conversations/reactions towards me which would perpetuate the secret war between women already at home.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to superimpose my failure within my Life onto my child , fearing that they will also fail, wherein I will teach her how to not make the same mistakes as I did and thus push her to excel in all areas of LIFE to have the best from all - Man, Career, children, clothes, friendships etc. and within that, I have failed to realize that my desires are not my child's desires and by me forcing her to walk a specific path which is not her own, she will create and manifest resistance towards my up bringing of her exactly as I have done towards my mother and within that, continue the cycle of War between women - mother/daughter generation after generation.

I commit myself to show the relationship between the superimposed authority of the mother upon her daughter and the secret war between women and within that, I commit myself to support mothers to learn how to upbringing their children in the utmost effective way by first sorting themselves to be able to stand as an example for their children, be able to understand themselves as their children and to walk in equality with them in absolute support for them to become effective human beings in this world.

I commit myself to show and explain in details the consequences of the existential inherited fears from generation after generation from the beginning of time and present, stand as a support for those who dare investigating themselves and physically/practically change according to principles of that which is best for all.

I commit myself to present technics and methods to support the parents with the upbringing of their children and to stop, for once and for all the abusive superimpose  authority upon children  and instead, establish a supportive relationship with them that will be based on self respect, trust and honesty.