Starting Over - A Failure or an Opportunity? - Day 232

So in a way, I'm starting my process again or to be more specific, aligning my starting point in why am I walking this path and who I am within the decision because, as long as 'Self' as a Starting point, within the principle of what is best for all, isn't absolute clear, I would keep bouncing back and forth with no actual and substantial change.

 

I have changed my starting point of walking process many times before. It is more in the context of aligning the starting point when I saw something about myself that I haven't seen before and accordingly, after introspection, I see the adjustments and alignments that must be done within my application.

In the beginning, I used to access self judgement within the back chat - "I have failed", "I fell", "everything that I've walked thus far is a waste" but after awhile, I had realized that it is actually a cool thing because After all, it is a process of change and it is a process of becoming honest with ourselves and as we walk, more dimensions are coming up and within that, we expand our level of awareness and our self honesty and we align ourselves, stand up and continue walking. The only Real fall is when I had accepted and allowed myself to judge myself and chastise myself.

 

This is where I am now - in a point of Re-alignment; meaning - even though I CONvinced myself that I'm walking this process for myself, the 'myself' was still in the context of self interest wherein, I used my Process to define myself as more, within a life purpose that I've created within and as my mind, within an idea that I have to get somewhere, that I must achieve a goal, that what I do must result with an outcome where I could look back in my elderly days and be proud at what I've accomplish in my life.

 

What I had to realize was that 'Myself' is not the 'Myself' in Self Interest that must be the Starting point. 'Myself', is not only me, in an isolated world that exists only within my mind. 'Myself', consists of and Exists as everything that is here within interdependent relationships that encompass everything and everyone and thus, walking this process 'for and as Myself', is not to satisfied 'Myself' as the Mind within the Definitions that I could define myself as but rather, walking it as and for Myself as the Realization that 'Myself' is Equal to and One as everything that is here and as such, I walk this process for and as everything that is here, in Equality, because this is My Self Responsibility simply because I am part of everything that is here. After all - What is best for all is also best for me.

 

So, the points that I would be focusing now is looking and investigating the definition that I've programmed myself within and as in how I have lost myself, as Who I am, as Real Life on Earth in an ocean of Definition, in separation of myself.

It is to walk to a point of Nothingness, that nothing externally or Internally would determine who I am. That nothing would move me, unless I move myself. What would happen after? we shell see, it is not important nor relevant at this stage because if it was known I wouldn't be able to trust it because if it was known, it would imply that it was pre-programmed and that I wasn't the directive principle within the programming.

Lost in the Future - Day 48

For clarity - Here is the drawing of the pattern that I will be discussing here -


The diamonds points represents points that I haven' aligned myself yet/haven't sorted out yet. The future projection is based on fears, on knowledge and information that I hold on, in separation of myself and that which is here. And thus, instead of walking breath by breath in alignment to all that is here, I go into my mind in the attempt to control the future to avoid the fears through a projection and within that, miss all the points that required being sorted out and directed which then thus, I manifest a time loop meaning - my future plans won't work out as I expected them to be and than, my decisions will be based on a reaction of fear and the cycle continue to the beginning where I'll plan new future out of fear and miss again the points that require my attention.



I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the design that I've participated with throughout my life within and as the existence of a future projection and thus, I've accepted and allowed myself to avoid the points that require direction through projecting myself to the future which within that, could ignore and disregards the points that I require to align and sort out.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how I instead of sorting out point by point, I went into my mind, within and as a future projection and when the future didn't played out as I expected it to be, I freaked out, and immediately went and build a new future plans and I haven't considered to stop for a moment, look at the practicality of the points and made an informative decisions that is based on what is HERE.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to exits within and as future projection out of self interest desires and when the points didn't played out exactly as I've planed it, I reacted in fear and tried to figure out how to walk the point but I haven't considering that figuring out how to walk the point in my mind within a reaction of fear will not be the utmost beneficial solution and I rather stop the reactions, breathe and look at practicality and walk the decision thereof in absolute self trust, clarity and stability, breath by breath.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that I'm existing in the Future within a future projections plans that I've made from the starting point of self interest desires which were based upon my past as the knowledge and information that I hold and I haven't allowed myself to see and realized that the most important point was missed all along - being HERE, walking breath by breath according to that which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that my future projections plans that I've made in my mind were based on FEAR according to the knowledge and information that I hold inside myself that I've carried from my past and thus, when things didn't played out according to what I planned I react in fear because I didn't carry the knowledge and information that I believed I require for making an informative decisions however, what I've missed was the common sense HEREness that is not defined according to one's past or future and thus, when one is walking breath by breath by breath, one is able to face and direct what ever a point is playing out in absolute stability and clarity.

I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to see the relationship between future projection and the manifested reality that reflected back to me within unexpected changes from that which I've planned, and instead of stopping the reactions to the unexpected changes and direct myself effectively breath by breath, I went back into my mind, creating alternative solutions and I have failed to see that by allowing myself to react in fear and run back to my mind, I've manifested unnecessary time loop because it is inevitable that I will face myself whether I like it or not.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself and gave myself the permission to walk breath by breath and instead, I've directed myself according to a future that I've planned out for myself, in my mind, a future that is based on fears due to not taking on the points/patterns that I've participated throughout my life and stop the points/patterns one by one, and so, walk my life in absolute awareness of myself, my mind and all that is here in equality and oneness.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have failed to see the creation of the illusion reality that I'm creating in my mind in the attempt to miss and avoid points that requires my attention, consideration and practical correction.

I commit myself to stop creating unnecessary time loop for myself through participating in a future projection that is not based on the equality equation of this physical reality but is based on fears and reactions.

I commit myself to a process of stopping patterns one by one, breath by breath and to not allow myself to create an illusionary reality that can only exists in my mind.

I commit myself to stop reacting in fear when the illusion reality that I've created in my mind didn't meet with the physical reality and utilize the moment to see how and why I've manifested the physical reality that played out and furthermore, investigate what does it reflect back to myself from the perspective of looking and investigating what have I missed while I was preoccupied in my mind, in the illusionary reality.

I commit myself to stop being influenced by fears and instead of reacting and making decisions that are based on fear, I give myself the permission to stop, breathe and look at the practicality of the points and accordingly correct and direct myself, breath by breath.

I commit myself to hereness, to myself, to a breath by breath process of stopping the patterns that I've created in ignorance.

I commit myself to make informative decisions that based on the equality equation of 1+1=2 and to stop making reactive decisions that has no foundation/ground within the physical reality.

I commit myself to explain in details how and why we have been consistently living in our mind and how within that, we have missed ourselves and this physical reality as well as presenting a practical solutions to assist and support oneself in one's process of stopping pattern by pattern, breath by breath and within that becoming a physical living expression of LIFE.