Emotional Attachment and Physical connection (Part 4) - Day 463

Within this blog series, I have shared with you how I investigate a reaction that I had when I heard that one of the dog is sick. What seemed to be a very 'small' reaction, opened up a fascinating point in understanding better how the mind works and its relationship to relationship we have with others beings (animals and humans). So if you haven't already, I suggest reading through the blog series:

 

Emotional Attachment and Physical connection (Part 1) - Day 460

Emotional Attachment and Physical connection (Part 2) - Day 461

Emotional Attachment and Physical connection (Part 3) - Day 462

 

When I opened up the point with Sunette, she explained the design of Emotional Attachment - emotional attachments are very specific, wherein, when one had form an emotional attachment to another being, there will be ONE particular energy experience connected to that ONE being. So in other words, with every being we have emotional attachment to, each one of these beings would represent one particular and specific energy experience that we unconsciously believe that we are unable to stand as, as an expression of ourselves and thus, we require having a being around to activate the energy experience for us to access it.

 

Now, to understand Emotional Attachment, one have to understand the basic principle of Energy - Energy is ALWAYS polarized, when positive energy exists, Negative energy Exists. To expand your understanding on Energy - please visit EQAFE and listen to the Quantum Mind Self Awareness Series

 

Emotional attachment is based on polarized dependency structure where the negative emotional energy would protect the truth of the positive energy experience that one had associated with another being. Meaning, the positive would imply that we perceive the other being to give us something that we are unable to give to ourselves - and the negative would suppress or hide the positive, of how we have defined our relationship to another. This creates a relationship of dependency rather than a relationship that is based on mutual support structure.

 

So to make it clearer, let's have a look at my relationship with Gracie - I have found that the Word that describe best the ONE positive energy experience that Gracie gives me is Comfort. Meaning, I was able to access the Energy experience of feeling comfort when Gracie is around. Within this, I have created a dependency relationship to Gracie wherein, only when Gracie is around, I could access the Positive Energy Experience of feeling comfort. To Balance the Positive Energy, Negative Energy must be created and that I did every now and then by being concern about Gracie's health. For instance, one day, I hangout with Gracie and enjoyed the comfort in her presence and all of a sudden, I had concerns because her skin was too pink and irritated due to the amount of hours she spent in the pool without giving her body the time to dry itself. Now, in self honesty, the concerns were more in the nature of fear because practically, it does make sense that if the skin is wet for so long without being dried properly, the skin will be irritated but instead of being concern about it, the practical step would be to support the skin by simply dry it properly.

 

When the Vet called and said she needs to be tested again, it activate the Negative Energy Experience within myself as a reaction. The nature of the reaction was actually, a fear of lose which was implied by the words I spoke at that moment - "Why all the animals I am attached to have to die" (for context - Emotional Attachment and Physical connection (Part 1) - Day 460)

 

Here is an example of how we are solidifying the dependency relationship to other beings in our lives where we had associated Positive Energy Experience we are accessing to, when they are around or when we think about them, but at the same time, we generate Negative Energy Experience when for instance, we have concerns of fears that something bad is going to happened to them which implies fear of lose. The circling between the Positive and the Negative keeps the dependency relationship intact as we normally would never question the positive or the negative energy we have created and keep on creating towards the other being. The consequences of not questioning this point is a life of Energy expression that is dependent on Positive and Negative instead of creating ourselves as independent beings where we are able to access specific expressions as a living expression of who we are.

 

This actually led me to ask myself the next question - is it that we fear losing the other being, or is it that we fear losing the Positive Energy Experience? Is it that our relationships to others is based on the type of energy we can draw from them or is it a relationship that is based on a physical connection, where we are able to share and express ourselves within one another?

 

More in the next blog.

Emotional Attachment and Physical connection (Part 3) - Day 462

In the Previous Blog, I started walking the investigation process in relation to a reaction that I had within myself when I heard that one of the dogs in my house is sick. It is Fascinating how one single and small reaction opens up a lot within oneself. So if you haven't already, I suggest first reading the first 2 blogs:

Emotional Attachment and Physical connection (Part 1) - Day 460

Emotional Attachment and Physical connection (Part 2) - Day 461

 

Within this blog, I will expand the paragraph from the second blog:

"The other dimension where the pack is standing as a stability point in my life - again, it is not THE dimension that I am working with here because I left them so many times and I was stable within myself and thus, I came to the conclusion that feeling of "I'm never alone" is a mind trick that I used to suppress the real issue that I haven't seen yet."

 

Here, I want to explain what does it means that the mind played tricks on me and what was the purpose of such a "trick".

 

To understand this point, it is best if you also read through the blogs series where I shared about my relationship with Yalda:

My Dog as my Comfort Zone - Day 251

My Relationship with My Dog Continue - Day 253

My Relationship with my Dog - Self Forgiveness - Day 254

Pets as a reflection of Self Intimacy - Day 252

 

If you read these blogs, you would see how my relationship with Yalda was based on ONE element that I wasn't able to give to myself at that time, which was the 'Not Feeling Alone' experience that I placed Yalda, to stand as/for me. Meaning, instead of assisting and supporting myself to stand alone within stability, I shifted the responsibility towards my dog so that she could stand as that point for me.

 

With Yalda no longer being part of my direct environment when I moved to the farm, initially, I replaced the experience that Yalda gave me of 'not feeling alone' with the pack of dogs that we have on the farm. Why the whole pack? Because I didn't want to form a relationship with a dog because I didn't know how long will I stay on the farm and I didn't want to experience again the emotional experience when leaving another dog behind.

So, as a pack, it is not so personal in comparison to a one on one relationship with one dog so I just placed all of them together within myself so that I will never feel alone and that was until Babitjie came into my life and "forced" me to get over my shit and to allow myself to connect again to another being. At the same time, it was when I was already in a process of walking the correction of standing alone regardless of who is or isn't in my environment as a point of self trust.

 

The interesting thing that opened up in relation to the statement that the mind played tricks on me - here the mind used past association that I've created in my mind in relation to the experience of not feeling alone = the pack even though the association doesn't exist anymore as an expression of myself. Thus, when I started looking at my reaction to Gracie being sick, this point came up as if it is the primary point I must look at in my relationship to Gracie in how for instance, Gracie's presence fulfil the experience of not feeling alone however, if I would to stop investigating there, I would have missed THE dimension of what animals give me that I'm not able to give to myself.

 

Here again, we have to understand how the mind works - even though I no longer associate animals to the feeling of 'not being alone' experience - when the association between Gracie/Yalda/Pack = 'not feeling alone' came up, it "felt" as if this is the point that I was working with which is exactly how suppression manifest when  the primary point doesn't reveal itself and yet, I was for a moment, under the impression that THIS IS the point. When one is under the impression that one had found the point one was working with, one would normally not push oneself to discover more dimensions within oneself within one's process of change.

 

So, when I investigate points within myself, I would always cross reference myself. What I normally do is bringing the trigger point that activate the reaction 'here' and then I assess my physical body, to see whether there is or isn't any energetic movement within myself. The principle is - if in self honesty nothing moves within myself, than I'm satisfied that the point is clear but if there is a movement inside myself, even the slightest movement, I will continue checking and investigating the point within myself and when I'm done, I would again bring the moment here and assess any energy movement throughout my body. In cases where the movement is undefined, I would also cross reference the points with others to see if they see something that I haven't seen.

 

With the Gracie point, it was undefined movement and so, I went to speak with Sunette and what she explained, opened up an interesting point which I will share in the next blog.

 

Emotional Attachment and Physical connection (Part 1) - Day 460

(Note – I started writing this blog 2 weeks ago, so the events that took place was in alignment to when the blog was written)

 

More than a year ago, I shared about my relationship towards Babitjie, one of our cats that had died. (How to Deal with a Death of our Pet - Part 2 - Day 249). Since than, it took me a while to connect again to another animal because unconsciously, I didn't want to experience again the feeling of losing a loved animal.

 

In the past couple of months, I started connecting again with the dogs that lives with us and especially with Gracie, Blackie and Zack as they are the primary dogs that spend their time with me.

 

3 weeks ago, Gracie started showing a problem with her ears - we have been taking her to the vet couple of times since then, to find a treatment that will work for her. Today, they had to give her anesthetics so that they can see better what is going on inside her ears. They found the problem and Gracie returned home to recover from the anesthetics but a few hours later, the Vet called and said that we have to take her in again next week because the blood test were indecisive.

 

The moment I heard that, there was a reaction within myself. The first words that came from my mouth were: "but why every animal I'm getting attached to is dying". The interesting thing is that Gracie isn't dying and we don't even know what the blood tests mean and besides, it’s not that all the animals are dying, it  was only Babitjie that had died and there are so many other animals that I have connection with, and they are perfectly ok. What was also interesting was the specific words that I spoke out of reaction: "Attached to" - which carried emotional energetic charge to it.

 

So I started looking at my reactions and where it all came from:

1. Gracie's Nature is extremely similar to my dog that I left behind when I moved to the farm. I was extremely attached to my dog, Yalda, and it took me months to release the emotional connection that I formed within myself however, the characteristics that Yalda has, are very similar to Gracie's so forming a relationship connection with Gracie was very natural.

2. How Gracie in particular and the pack in general stand as stable point in my life whereas, they are always here when I wake up, they are always here when I go to sleep, they are always here when I come home... And within that, I never feel alone. 

 

Will continue opening these points more in my next blog as well as practically showing how I am working with points (reactions) that comes up in my reality in terms of how I assist and support myself with investigating points within myself through writing these blogs.