The Secret Agent in the Mind - Day 261

I was looking today at the Secret Agent character as this character reveal itself in the Dream I had last night and as I was looking at the Character and who I am as the character, I've seen the following:

 

The Secret Agent is one who is Reacting to what one sees in one's Environment/world that one had defined as unacceptable and within that reaction, one will go against the System, within the justification that one is fulfilling one's purpose, one is doing what needs to be done, that which no one else will dare doing and thus, one is special, Divine and Heroic.

 

However, what one had not realized is that in essence, Reacting to a problem does not solve the problem but only perpetuate the gap, the separation, the inner and outer conflict instead of walking according to the Prevention Principle, standing from and as the system through which a change would be both internally and externally possible. The test of time shows and proven that Secret services and Secret Agents never in fact supported practically in bringing about a substantial change with an outcome that is best for all. Secret Services is ONLY done within the Principle of Self Interest, to benefit oneself or a handful amount of people while the Majority is being ignored, abused and compromised.

 

When I turn this back to myself, I see that I've programed and created myself as a Secret Agent within my own mind, always moved and directed myself according to my Secret agendas in self interest to fulfil my desires wants and needs. And even then, the test of time showed and proved that nothing of that which I wanted was actually manifested the way I wanted it to be which then one must ask the question - where I was 'wrong' within my application because obviously, the way I walked my life wasn't working. however instead of investigating my starting points and what was really that I wanted and desired, I kept on looping the same patterns over and over again while the only thing that was changing was the characters that acted in the Scenes that I created within and as my mind.

 

What was not addressed, investigated and questioned was: "What do I want"?

What I see, realize and understand thus far is - that which I perceived that I want, was conditioned and controlled by my pre-program design that I've created within and as myself throughout my life which was a direct influence by my Culture, Environment, Family, friends, Media, etc.

When existing according to one's preprogram design, we are actually trying to create ourselves a future that was already written by us in a very limited version of what the future can be because our frame of reference is our mind. we would try and live out our wants, needs and desires based on our self interest patterns and within that, won't allow ourselves to expand and empower ourselves in being able to assess in absolute and unconditional self honesty what is really best for all in every given moment and Live ONLY that which is best for all; and therefor, letting go of the desire of something that I want without even understanding what I want is quite a mind fuck.

 

So for instance, giving up the desire for relationship, doesn't mean that I won't have a relationship if an opportunity to a relationship would present itself and in self honesty I  would see that walking into such relationship would result in the best for all outcome. Because, when looking into my secret mind, the desire for a relationship for instance is very much existent and it influences every decision I make. I would plan my future not within the context of what and where and obviously within that who I am, stand in my utmost potential to bring about that which is really important - a change within and without but I would rather accept and allow myself to plan and brew events that may lead to the self interest desired outcome and within it all, wouldn't not really consider the beings that would be influenced by my inner plans I so desirably scheming to manifest. I would even justify the repetition of the same Life path in the decision that I make within the statement: "But this time it is different, I have changed, they have changed, I will not make the same mistakes, I must give it ago" and yet, the same repeat itself, time after time again while the only thing that is changing is the picture that I store in my mind. but till here no further.

 

And then comes the Trust - which is a big issue as Trust as how I understood trust thus far, was always within the context of trusting the system, trusting my intuition, the mind, the thoughts, feelings and emotions but that isn't a real Self trust - it is a trust that is based on separation, on deception and on what I want to trust instead of what is in fact physically real, substantial and best for all which in most or even all cases, won't stand in alignment to my self interest desires, wants and needs. So here is also to investigate how to redefine self interest to stand in alignment to what is best for all which within that context, the word that must be looked and investigated is the word 'Self' within the principle of oneness and equality that consists of and exists as EVERYTHING. In that context, Self is not only me, as my mind, as how I see myself through the mind  expression. 'Self' is Everything that exists and thus, includes me as well. This is why everything start with SELF change because unless I, self, change, there is no way the SELF that exists as Everything that is here would change. Which thus put the term: 'self interest' in a new light - instead of walking according to the interest of one's individuality in separation from everything and everyone, one walk according to the interest of Self that consists of and exists as everything that is here which then the interest serve and stand in alignment to the principle of 'best for all'

 

Will continue with my introspection within tomorrow's blog.

For now, I suggest reading Marlen's blog: Can Self Interest be Common Sense?