Jan 22, 2016 | By: A Woman

That moment when you hear people talking about you (Part 2) - Day 539

Continuing with the previous blog where I discussed my relationship to overhearing someone talking about me and what revealed during the process of investigating this points inside of myself. For context, please read: That moment when you hear people talking about you (Part 1) - Day 538

As I moved through the layers of my mind, I stumble upon another mind program that was there to "support" the diminishment program that I was busy working to step out from. Meaning:

When I heard people talking about me, I immediately went into reaction. That reaction carried diminishment signature because I used to define and judge myself according to how other people saw/thought of me. Therefore, it didn't matter what the intensity of the judgement in what they were saying was, it didn't matter whether they said a valid thing or not - I just went into reaction. So with me taking personally what they were saying about me, I unconsciously made the decision to diminish myself because I had the chance to empower myself by reminding myself that it is just their mind speaking, not who they are and it doesn't define me.

Now, it didn't end there, the consequences weren't late to come: The consequences of accepting and allowing diminishment when overhearing people talking about me was that the next time I saw them, I was still reactive and I immediately pulled out the protection mechanism program to make sure I won't get hurt.

And so, within that, I compromised my relationship with them because I went cold, I went off grid, I did not want anything to do with them.. Instead of reminding myself that "hey, it is really just their mind that you are reacting to.. Instead support them to see what they are accepting and allowing inside of themselves".

This was tough. Moving myself to a point of absolute forgiveness and support was challenging. Because here I am, reacting to another person talking shit about me, realizing I must forgive their mind so that I can stand as their support. In that also, forgive myself for compromising my relationship with them and having the patience to walk the manifested consequences - this was not easy. And still, it is not easy.

When you realize a point inside of yourself, it does not mean you transcend the point. All it means is that you became aware of another tiny part of yourself. To transform the realization into a point of change, you have to walk through the physical reality and apply change in real time moment. This - this is the most challenging thing I have done. It is one thing to theoretically forgive. It is another thing to change in real time and prove the forgiveness was real. This takes practice, patience and perseverance.

The point that I wanted to bring across is that:
There are many reasons for why people talk shit about one another. None of these reasons are valid. However, we haven't been taught to handle situations and we haven't been supported to develop effective communication with ourselves and others. Therefore, gossiping exists - showing that something inside of self is lacking and require additional support. As long as we react to others' gossiping or even to our own mind gossiping, we are unable to support neither ourselves nor others.

In my next blog, I will talk more about why it is important to stop the reactions towards another person talking about you and how to take the 'negative' experience and transform it to a life lesson from which you can empower yourself from.


Art: gossip girls by dian bernardo


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