Taking responsibility for my creation - Day 96

This is a continuation to the Blog post:

The Self Diminishment Character - Day 94

They are Better than me, I'm so fucked up - Day 95

I commit myself to show how the starting point of each single character that we have created within and as ourselves serve one purpose only - Self Interest Desire for an experience that only through becoming the character, equal and one, Self is able to gain the experience and within that, disregarding the Life that is here as who Self Is as self is busy bouncing from one character to another according to what suit self the Best in order to survive in any given moment.

I commit myself to show that the cycle of the Self Diminishment Character will work and function in absolute perfection within and as ourselves where we will bounce from a Negative Energy charge to a Positive Energetic charge and back to the Beginning (to the Negative and the Positive to the Negative) where all of which can only exists within and as our permission to Compare ourselves to the Idea/Picture that we have created in our mind of who and what we should have been within the picture, and we will compare ourselves to other people in our lives to make sure that our Self Diminishment and Sabotage cycle will always remain intact and in place. 

I commit myself to kill the Self Diminishment Character within and as myself as I realized that I was the one who decided to create myself as the Self Diminishment character. I realized that to expand and grow myself through the example of others that have walked the time line to develop their skills to be and become an effective human being within themselves and this world, I must stop all participation within and as comparison and competition as those are just more characters that I've created as myself to protect myself as the character that I've become, in self interest, in separation and till here no further.

I commit myself to show that the decision to be and become the self Diminishment character was made by me through my acceptance and allowance of thoughts and back chat to be and  become my directive principle as that was what I was taught by those who have come before me to always protect and defend my own self interest of survival. I see and realize that I was the one who have accepted the teaching and the example of others and have thus accepted the Comparison and competition characters to exists within and as me and thus, I stand here, in full awareness of why and how I've created myself in the nature of self interest to protect my survival of and as characters and from this moment onwards, I commit myself to assist and support myself, by dissecting each and every memory that had led me to the decisions that I've made in absolute separation and ignorance and to thus, assist and support myself to delete the memories by standing equal to and one as the memories, delete them, breath by breath until I'm purified from my own enslavement that I've trapped myself from the beginning and stand up as LIFE that is best for all.

I commit myself to Show that our fight for our self interest Survival within which we will always compare and compete with one another, will never be the solution for the creation that we all as one created and thus, it is the time to stop competing, stop comparing and stand together within the realization that it was always US who have created ourselves and this existence in separation from ourselves and LIFE as ourselves and it will be US who will re-create our Creation as LIFE as Ourselves when we accept and allow ourselves to kill our Characters that we have created in order to trap ourselves within and as our creation because the consequences of the game/movie that we have created is devastating and must be stopped and thus, from here on - the rule of the game must change - Equality and Oneness as what is best for all will and must be our guideline, our principle that we will stand as for eternity, to ensure a LIFE that is in fact best for all.

They are Better than me, I'm so fucked up - Day 95

This is a continuation to the Blog post:

The Self Diminishment Character - Day 94

 

Within this Blog, I will Walk the Process of Self Forgiveness:

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how and why I've created myself within and as the Self Diminishment Character as a data base for multiple Characters that I can choose from that will suit me the best in every given moment to serve One purpose only - My own Self Interest within and as a desire for an experience, either Positive or Negative.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how I've created the Diminishment character within and as myself through an idea that I've created in my mind of who and what I should be in any given moment and as long as the picture/idea in my mind doesn't match the physical reality, I will not be satisfied with myself and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that my own dissatisfaction from myself is through comparing myself to the idea/picture in my mind through projecting the idea/picture onto other people in my environment wherein through those people, I will activate the Cycle where I access self diminishment through first becoming Jealousy, then spiteful in finding fault in them, move to elevate myself for a moment until I go back to comparison, self diminishment, jealousy, spitefulness and the cycle continue. Thus, I commit myself to when and as I see myself accessing the comparison towards another human being, to sustain the idea/picture I hold within myself in my mind, to STOP, Breathe, and to not accept and allow myself to follow the back chat, move through the character, delete the idea/picture that I have about myself in my mind and Stand Here, as who I am, as Life that is here.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself see and realize how I've manifested the Diminishment character wherein I will first create and idea as picture in my mind of who and what I should become and who and what I see myself within my world and my environment; when a being in my environment challenge my perception of myself as the idea/picture in my mind, I immediately access comparison and competition with that person, not seeing, realizing and understanding that this being is standing as a mirror of my own comparison toward myself to the idea/picture I have about myself in my mind. and thus, because I haven't realized that I'm comparing myself to myself and I believe that it is all about the other person, I access jealousy; when and as I'm in this LOW and NEGATIVE energy charge, I will seek for ways to balance that emotions and elevate myself through finding faults within and as the other human being based on past memories that I hold onto them for that exact moment where I could use the memory against them, to create a positive feeling. But than, as I push myself to find the fault, there is a voice within and as me that remind me that I have failed an thus a failure, how wrong and unworthy I am and so - I go back to the Negative emotional charge but of course, I will not allow myself to stay there and I'll keep on looking for faults in the other being so that I can access the positive energetic charge again until… the experience of "I'm so bad, I'm unworthy, they are better than me" is in complete possession and I've absolute integrated with and as the diminishment character.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that for the Self Diminishment Character to Exists, the Comparison and Competition Character must Exist and I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that I've been missing a critical point all along - Instead of comparing and competing with other beings in my world and my reality, I'm able to expand and grow myself through Learning from other people within the understanding that in order to develop the skills that those whom I compare myself with has, I require to walk a time Line in space/time physical reality. Within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create my self existence within and as the Diminishment Character and within that, enslaved and trapped myself within and as a infinite cycle where I will never see, realize and understand Who I am and my utmost potential as a Physical Living Human Being as I was busy comparing myself to others, not giving myself the possibility to in fact expand and grow myself through others that are standing as an example of who I am able to be and become within and as the principle of Oneness and Equality.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that so long as I give myself the permission to diminish myself within and as my mind and within that, not accepting and allowing myself to grow and expand myself as a Physical Living Human being, I will remain trapped within and as my own mind not ever be able to step out of my mind as I'll be busy judging myself and be hard on myself and never in fact change.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize the cycle of Self Sabotage that I've created within and as the Self Diminishment Character wherein, instead of standing within and as a principle of Oneness and Equality and learn from the people in my environment, that have proven that change is possible through a decision that that they have made to assist and support themselves to step out of their character and become LIFE that is best for all, I had allowed myself to compare myself to them within the attempt to WIN my validation, gratification and glorification without ever realizing that I can Never be more than who I am, I can never be More than who others are and that within and as this game/movie that we have created within and as a decision that we have made very long time ago to trap ourselves for eternity to and as our mind, the only solution is to wake us all up, stand together in Equality and Oneness and change who and what we have become according to ONE principle - that which is best for all within which, we'll stand up together and change our creation to and as LIFE that is Equally best for all.

The Rebellion Daughter Mother Character - Day 81

This is a continuation to my previous blog:

My Life as a character - Overview - Day 79

The Family Charade in Character - Day 80

For Context, also read: Day 79: Stepping out of Character with LOVED ONES - Creation's Journey to Life, Bernard Poolman

Part 2: The Mother/Daughter Character - Looking at specific Characters:

The Rebellion Daughter and the relationship with the Mother:

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself as a daughter of this world, to rebel against the parents in my journey of seeking after my independence and individuality and I perceived the parents to sabotage my journey as I've perceived their morality standard and the way they perceive LIFE to be limited, narrow and constricted. What I have failed to realize, see and understand that my perception of LIFE was through the eye of a character, that I have created in separation of myself and to be able to sustain this character of myself, I had to create multiple characters within my self and as others like for instance, the parents in this world.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself as a daughter in this world, to create myself as the character of and as the rebellion daughter and for me to be able to exists within and as this character, I had to create the parents in the image of likeness that will suit my character and I have failed to realize that my perception of my Parents where within the eye of myself as the character, seeing them as the characters they have created for themselves instantaneous as I created them as characters that will allow me to sustain my rebellion daughter character.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself as a daughter in this world, to create and manifest myself as a character of the rebellion daughter through continually and continuously justifying in my mind why is it that I'm right and my parents are wrong and I haven't realized that within that very moment of participating in my backchat, I've created another dimension of myself, another character - the one that justify my self interest of "I'm right".

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself as a daughter in this world to believe that the parents are constricting and limiting my freedom as well as my expression and I haven't realized that within that belief, I've created myself as a character - an inferior character that blame everything for the limitation and constriction that I've placed upon myself as a character. And then I go, and try to rebel against my own limitation and constriction through the characters that I've created as the parents so that we can all in agreement, sustain all our characters and within that, make sure that we will not step out of characters.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself as a parent in this world, to limit my child expression within and as the character that I've created as myself, to protect my own fears which I've not seen that it was always just another character which I've superimposed on my daughter character.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself as a parent in this world, to see, realize and understand how I've created my rebellion child character in the image and likeness of myself as a rebellion child and how, generation after generation, I've looped myself as a character and all my family member's character so that we can all stay in character to ensure that none of us will step out of character.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, as a family member in this world, how I've created our characters in self interest, so that we will never step out of our characters and create LIFE that is best for all in fact and how, generation after generation, I've kept all the character in place, playing the same script over and over again.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that so long as I keep my characters: Fear, self interest, cultural beliefs, opinions etc. I'm creating more and more characters to sustain those characters which include creating my children as characters that may rebel to my character exactly as I've rebelled to my parents characters and here we go - creating a never ending time loop where we are all kept as characters that we have created ourselves as characters to ensure one single point - that our self interest will remain and we will never require to clean up the mess that we have left after ourselves.

I commit myself to show and expose how we've created, generation after generation ourselves as characters; either of the child or the parents and within that, looped the same points over and over again, so that we won't have to actually face the mess that we've created ourselves, to not have to clean the mess that we've created ourselves and thus, continue reserving the character, life after life after life, instead of actually creating LIFE that is best for all, through cleaning up the mess for once and for all.

I commit myself to show that the only way the rebellion daughter character can stand intact, is through creating the parents as a character wherein both will play the written script that we have all agreed to play and stand as.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to step out of characters through taking all the characters that we have created in this world, delete them from within and as me until no character remain and LIFE can be created in fact.

In the next blogs to come:

The Submissive Daughter and the relationship with the Mother:

The Perfect Daughter and the relationship with the Mother:

The Caring Daughter and the relationship with the Mother:

The Clever Daughter and the relationship with the Mother:

The promiscuous Daughter and the relationship with the Mother:

The Loving Daughter and the relationship with the Mother:

The Family Charade in Character - Day 80

This is a continuation to my previous blog:

My Life as a character - Overview - Day 79

I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to see the separation that we have created within the family character wherein, there are specific roles that each participant is playing according to one's created character that one as accepted and allowed self to be defined as and accordingly, separate oneself as character from oneself as LIFE and the others as a whole.

Part 1: The Mother/Daughter Character - Overview

The Daughter Character:

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that I've created myself as a character of and as the 'Daughter' and within that, also created the parents as characters that will assist and support the Daughter character to remain in character.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that who I am cannot be defined by characters and thus, the daughter character cannot be real.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that for me to be someone's daughter, I must have created that relationship in character, in agreement with all the other characters to remain in character and within that, I've not seen, realized and understood the limitation that exists within and as characters wherein one is tie to one's character and cannot express and experience oneself as who one is but only as the character that one has created for oneself, in separation of oneself.

The Mother Character:

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create myself within and as the character of the Mother according to how I've observer my mother's character, the character mothers in the Movies, my characters' friends mother as so on and accordingly, created myself as the character that I would like to be in this life, not seeing, realizing and understanding that the character that I would like to be was also a character that I've defined according to my memories and experiences and that the fact of the matter is, the decision to be and become the specific mother character that I've created as myself, wasn't a free, informative and clear decision of who I am but was born from the circumstances of my life as the sum up of all the characters that allowed me to create myself as the character and within that, I haven't even considered that I've created the other characters so that I could remain in character.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create and design myself as the mother character because I believed that the mother character is who I am and I haven't realized that for me to remain in character of the mother, I must create in agreement other character that will provide me with the continuation of me as the mother character which than raise the question, what was my starting point in having children? To create myself in character or to actually bring a life that is best for all into this world?

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how limited the mother character is in fact where I'm not fully walking in absolute the physical expression of a mother in this world where I take care of all children in this world equally but rather, separated myself within and as my own little bubble which I've defined as the family character, taking care of only those who can keep me in character so that I won't have to step out of my character and walk my responsibility as LIFE to take care of all parts of LIFE equal and one.

For context, also read:

Day 79: Stepping out of Character - Bernard Poolman

Day 79: Kill the Buddha - He's Just a Character, Part 3- Lindsay Craver

Day 79. I'm Nothing But a Character - Malin Gunilla

Day 22 - Me as the Main Character within the Cinema of my Mind - Rozelle de Lange

Day 44: The Character game - Esteni De Wet