The Family Charade in Character - Day 80

This is a continuation to my previous blog:

My Life as a character - Overview - Day 79

I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to see the separation that we have created within the family character wherein, there are specific roles that each participant is playing according to one's created character that one as accepted and allowed self to be defined as and accordingly, separate oneself as character from oneself as LIFE and the others as a whole.

Part 1: The Mother/Daughter Character - Overview

The Daughter Character:

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that I've created myself as a character of and as the 'Daughter' and within that, also created the parents as characters that will assist and support the Daughter character to remain in character.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that who I am cannot be defined by characters and thus, the daughter character cannot be real.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that for me to be someone's daughter, I must have created that relationship in character, in agreement with all the other characters to remain in character and within that, I've not seen, realized and understood the limitation that exists within and as characters wherein one is tie to one's character and cannot express and experience oneself as who one is but only as the character that one has created for oneself, in separation of oneself.

The Mother Character:

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create myself within and as the character of the Mother according to how I've observer my mother's character, the character mothers in the Movies, my characters' friends mother as so on and accordingly, created myself as the character that I would like to be in this life, not seeing, realizing and understanding that the character that I would like to be was also a character that I've defined according to my memories and experiences and that the fact of the matter is, the decision to be and become the specific mother character that I've created as myself, wasn't a free, informative and clear decision of who I am but was born from the circumstances of my life as the sum up of all the characters that allowed me to create myself as the character and within that, I haven't even considered that I've created the other characters so that I could remain in character.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create and design myself as the mother character because I believed that the mother character is who I am and I haven't realized that for me to remain in character of the mother, I must create in agreement other character that will provide me with the continuation of me as the mother character which than raise the question, what was my starting point in having children? To create myself in character or to actually bring a life that is best for all into this world?

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how limited the mother character is in fact where I'm not fully walking in absolute the physical expression of a mother in this world where I take care of all children in this world equally but rather, separated myself within and as my own little bubble which I've defined as the family character, taking care of only those who can keep me in character so that I won't have to step out of my character and walk my responsibility as LIFE to take care of all parts of LIFE equal and one.

For context, also read:

Day 79: Stepping out of Character - Bernard Poolman

Day 79: Kill the Buddha - He's Just a Character, Part 3- Lindsay Craver

Day 79. I'm Nothing But a Character - Malin Gunilla

Day 22 - Me as the Main Character within the Cinema of my Mind - Rozelle de Lange

Day 44: The Character game - Esteni De Wet

My Life as a Character - Overview - Day 79

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to REALize that I'm the creator of instantaneously characters which all of them has ONE purpose, to keep me in character.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create myself as a dimensional character that create more dimensional characters that creates more characters for one single purpose - to create more character and within that, I've enslaved myself for eternity, always creating characters separated from me, not Realizing the power of my creation that is bigger from me as the creator because I created character to create character while all along, I was the character that created character. So who am i? a character?

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to understand creation because I forgot that I've created myself as a character that created the character that forgot that I'm a character. Isn't it a nice stupidity loop?

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself, as the creator of all the character to remind myself  that I'm the creator of the characters that I've created in separation of me and because I haven't created a character to remind myself that I've created me as a character, I doomed myself for eternity.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see my responsibility as the creator wherein I've created all the relationships to support me as a character to not see the power I have as the creator that can create LIFE because I created an agreement with all the characters to support me to remain in character and have thus, enslaved us all, looping between all the characters moment by moment, breath by breath until we remember creation and create ourselves as Life .

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that I'm the characters/personalities because I forgot that I've created these characters/personalities and I haven't considered that as the powerful creator of an eternal enslavement, I can delete the characters and freely choose, in self honesty, to step out of character and clear up the mess that I've created in character.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that I've accepted and gave permission to other characters to resists change and to thus, do what they can to sabotage and limit my own self change because that is how I made sure that I won't change. Within that, I see, realize and understand how I've created resistance, how I gave power to resistance because I created resistance to protect me from an actual change.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create a character that fear stepping out of character because I know that I created characters that will attack and hurt my character because I fuck up with their characters. Thus, I realize that the conflicts, attacks and harms are all characters that I've created and I commit myself to stand in the face of what may come, prepared, in self trust, Here. And I realize that within that statement, I've created a character and thus I stop.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to look at the thought, realize that the thought was a character, to then find out that it was a character that realized that the thought was a character because I have now created a memory of the "realization" which I now let go, return to my human physical body and in an instantaneously moment, I create another character as a thought comes up and the cycle looping itself. So I keep reminding myself that I've created myself as character and I stop, and I realized that I created the character that reminds me that I've created a character until I step out of all the characters and no longer require character to remind myself that I'm a character.

I commit myself to support myself in seeing, releasing, deleting and clearing the mess that I've created in characters

I commit myself to keep reminding myself to step out of character when and as I see myself accessing a character and within that, I let go self judgement when I see that I'm still a character because I realized that self judgement is another character that I've created.

I commit myself to remind myself that I've created a character the remind myself that I'm a character to assist and support myself with stepping out of all my characters until I'm no longer creating a character of stepping out of character.

I commit myself to clear up the mess that I've created as characters and stand in the face of each and every character, forgive myself as the character and let it go.

I commit myself to show that character is being created instantaneously when a thought comes up, a memory has now been created as an experience that the memory has created as it created me. And within that, we are eternally fucked until we step out of character by cleaning that mess that we have created in character. 

 

The Decision - Am I the creator? - Day 26

Artist - Scott Cook

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to make a decision of WHO I AM and thus, allowed myself to trust my mind who tells me Who I am according to my limited grasp of LIFE and I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to have failed to see that unless I make a decision of WHO I AM and live the decision within every moment of every breath, I’m giving up on myself, I’m giving up on Life that include everything and everyone and within that making a statement that I’m useless and worthless and I might as well die.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to have failed to realize what LIFE is. I see and realize that LIFE is interdependent relationships that form a support structure by always moving and directing within the principle of that which is best for all. The entirety of all the PARTS that forms LIFE must establish an agreement with themselves and each other to always move according to that which is best for all.  So – I start with myself;  I’m here making a commitment, a decision, to establish an agreement with all my parts, as myself to always move and direct myself and this world according to that which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize the decision to be and become LIFE that is equal to and one with all the parts of me within all the relationships that forms LIFE is a moment to moment decision and physical application; it is the accumulation of moments as breaths and thus I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself in moment of falling into my mind where I’ve missed a breath to judge myself as unworthy instead of immediate bring myself back here, to my physical human body, correct and change myself and stand by my commitment to support and embrace myself, and come to terms with myself as the mind that I’ve become and yet, not accept the continuation of the limitations and abuse and simply BREATHE and move myself back to myself within the responsibility that I hold as the creator of LIFE.  

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to have failed to realize that be and becoming LIFE is through making the decision of WHO I AM and even though I’m not standing Equal to and One as LIFE in this very moment, the very decision to become LIFE is my directive principle and everything that I will do from that starting point of become life will be determine by WHO I am.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to make the decision to be and become LIFE as WHO I am and direct myself according to this starting point within all that I do because I feared the implication of having to change in fact and thus, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed through fear to compromise myself and all that is HERE as the interdependent relationships that forms LIFE because I’ve allowed the fear to be my directive principle and abdicated the responsibility to decide and practically walk as WHO I am in every moment.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to make the decision of WHO I am because I’ve valued and trusted myself as the mind despite of the realizations that following my mind have got me nowhere as well as humanity as a whole and thus, I’ve missed the obvious of walking according to principle of What is best for all is the common sense practical physical living application within the responsibility that we have as the creator of LIFE as ourselves.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize what LIFE is and WHO I Am as the creator of LIFE and I’ve taken for granted and lived the definition of MY limited version of  LIFE as a separated individual with purposes of survival

And So Who I am is to first realize that who I am is PART of all the interdependent relationships that forms LIFE and thus, I, as an individual part of ALL - is the creator of LIFE. Being the creator of LIFE comes with a responsibility – To get myself back to myself as the practical physical living application in every moment of what is best for all so that whatever I create, I create from self honesty best for all principle within the realization of Who I Am as the creator of LIFE that is HERE;

When we were born, we were born with nothing and yet, we were given LIFE. Through the years, we’ve separated ourselves from LIFE and stepped into our mind. Thus the key is to re-birth ourselves and from Nothingness, to create ourselves and this world according to that which is best for all.

Who I am? I'm in my process to understand and realize creation because I created myself, I responsible for that which i've created without understanding creation, I responsible for How the world manifested to its current design because i've understood myself, i haven't sorted out myself and I've allowed myself to stand up and take responsibility for that very creation of myself and this world.
 

 For more blogs

 

Who I am is NOT what I have been taught that I am – Day 22

http://mayaprocess.blogspot.com/2012/05/who-i-am-is-not-what-i-have-been-taught.html

Who I am is a Free Choice?  Day 23

http://mayaprocess.blogspot.com/2012/05/who-i-am-is-free-choice-day-23.html

Inversion of purpose – Day 24

http://mayaprocess.blogspot.com/2012/05/inversion-of-purpose-day-24.html