Holding onto a Grudge - Part 3- Day 233

This a continuation to:

From Evilness to Life - Day 226

The seclusion in Inclusion - Day 227

Seeing the Evil Nature in Dreams - Day 229

Holding onto a Grudge - Day 230

Holding onto a Grudge - Part 2 - Day 231

 

Before you read this blog, I truly suggest to Invest in the Quantum Mind - Self Awareness Interviews as it is a tremendous assistance and support for me in getting to know the origin of myself in how I programmed myself to behave, speak, react, form personalities and so forth. In this, I can slowly but surely, expand my awareness of myself as what I've accepted and allowed myself to be and become through years of Self Programming with Zero self and real Awareness.

 

I Commit myself to Further expanding my Direct seeing of my own mind, from the Conscious to the Sub Conscious to the UnConsious and to the Quantum and the Physical Quantum Mind to understand the Mechanics of the Mind in how I've accepted and allowed myself to program my relationships with myself and with others with No Self Awareness.

 

I Commit myself to Investigate my Current Relationships within my Physical Environment to allocate the 'Preferences' that I've formed within these relationship so that I could see, realize and understand for myself, how I've programmed these preference in relationship with Past Memories Experiences as the Building blocks of how I would automatically experience myself in their presence, what Back chat would I have, How would I react and so forth. Within that, I commit myself to change my Relationship from Mind Experiences to Physical Living Expression of and as myself.

 

I Commit myself to when and as I see myself accessing defence mode in relation to another human being, to investigate and check if there are any memories from the past that I've associated and connected to this being and accordingly, assist and support myself to Forgive myself and delete the memories that I've utilize to Protect myself through holding onto Grudge as I now see, realize and understand that so long as I hold onto grudge, I'm not giving our relationship to transform to a supportive and effective relationship where we expand and grow ourselves within and as the principle of that which is best for all.

 

I commit myself to investigate all the fears that I've programmed myself within and as because I now see, realize and understand that so long as I'm approaching relationship within the starting point of fear, there is no way I could develop and establish a real and physical relationship with any human being as I would not allow myself to trust them and would keep a wall that separate us from really getting to know each other and develop a supportive and effective relationship that would stand for eternity.

 

I commit myself to - when and as I communicate with another human being, to allow myself to truly listen to their words, in letting go the defense mechanisms that I've created within and as myself from the starting point of fear. In this, I commit myself to self honestly getting to know the other human being in their totality as I now see, realize and understand that I have never accepted and allowed myself to see the being as who they are, but always approach the being from my own limitation of my own mind, through my opinions, beliefs, ideas, fears, reactions that I have created within and as myself throughout the years.

Holding onto a Grudge - Part 2 - Day 231

This a continuation to:

From Evilness to Life - Day 226

The seclusion in Inclusion - Day 227

Seeing the Evil Nature in Dreams - Day 229

Holding onto a Grudge - Day 230

 

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to Delete the Past Memory Experience, Either a Negative or Positive, as I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that storing Past Memory Experiences is how I enslave myself, further into my mind in how I would from there develop preferences, likes/dislikes and emotions and feelings towards other human beings and within this, how I would chose the people I like/dislike being around instead of, assessing and checking the alignment between us to see if the relationship would produce an outcome that would result in the expansion and growth of each other within the principle of that which is best for all.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT realize that as long as I hold grudge towards another human being, based on a past memory Experience where I felt betrayed or hurt, I do not give the relationship a chance to transform to a supportive relationship where both are standing in alignment, assisting and supporting each other to become a better human beings in this world and through that, empower we are through strengthening ourselves with the assistance and support of each other because, the grudge that I hold onto the other human being is like a wall that I'm placing between us, a wall that cannot be walked through so that we both become One, unless I remove the wall in absolute self trust, through deleting the past memory experiences and within that, accepting and allowing myself to walk with a person, as who the person IS, in that very moment of Breath.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to train and program myself to hold grudge towards the people in my world and my environment as part of my Survival tactics, in case that one day, I could utilize that grudge and transform it to a revenge, to strike first with all the weapons I have stored within and as myself, before they could harm and hurt me. In this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that my approach to any relationship is within FEAR as I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to trust anyone due to past memory experiences where I perceived people to harm and hurt me.

 

Moreover, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that I've approached Relationship from fear, from a very young age and within that, didn't walk the 1+1 equation in understanding that that which I fear, persists and manifest itself over and over again, until I stand up and change.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT realize that when and as I hold grudge towards another human being, I'm not accepting and allowing myself to create a co-existing relationship with them, because I would always be in a state of protection and defense towards a possibility of getting hurt.

 

In this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that so long as I hold onto past memory experiences of all the times I perceived others to disappoint me, harm, compromise, betray or hurt me, I cannot expect having relationship with people from an Equal and ONE physical starting point as I gave value to past memories experiences which through the memories, as fears, I accepted and allowed myself to move and direct myself.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that so long as I'm holding a past memory Event/Experience that I've defined within and as myself as Negative, I'm Not accepting and allowing myself to really get to know another human being as my approach from the get go was of and as fear. In this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I have never in fact, accepted and allowed myself to get to know another human being so long as I hold memories within and as myself through which, I would interpret what I think and perceive they are saying, through associating their words, behaviour and mannerism with past Memories Events/Experiences that I've stored within and as myself.

 

 

Will be continued..

Please feel Sorry for me - Day 220

 

 

This is a continuation to:

 

The Elite's delusion of stress - Part 1 - Day 45 The Elite's Delusion of Stress - Part 2 - Day 46 The Decision of TIME - Day 67 opy Paste Character - The Education System - Day 184 Is it possible to Cheat yourself? Day 185 It is time to STOP Existing as a Human Machine - Day 186 The End of Times - Day 187 Facing the Evil within - the KEY to LIFE - Day 188 Fear of Disappointing others - Day 189 The Psychology of TIME - Day 190 I Regret, therefor, I'm a Good Person. NOT!!! - Day 191 The REAL Fear - Day 192 The things we Won't tell ANYONE - Day 193 Missing out on the Good Life - Day 194

Let's have some Fun - Day 195 Stupidity Loop - Jumping from the Bad to the Good to the Bad - Day 196 The Smoke Screen of Ignorance - Day 197 Leaving in a Dream - Day 208 Having the Life Style you always dreamt to have - Day 209 IT is MY time Now - don't say a word - Day 210 Let's go on Vacation - Day 211 Comparison is a Bitch - Day 212 Damn, I will never have everything done - Day 213 Standing as an Example - Self Interest or Self Realization? - Day 214 From the Bossy to the Loser - Day 215 Jealousy and Frustration - I want the Life they Have - Day 216 The Poison within Irritation and Anger - Day 217 Judgement as self Perfection - Day 218 Impatience as Evilness - Day 219

 

For the purpose of context, suggest reading these posts above prior to reading the post below, if you haven’t already. Here I will be walking the 'I don't have TIME' Character - Reaction Dimension - Practical support with Self Forgiveness and Self Commitments.

 

Reactions Dimension:

* Jealousy

* Frustration

* Irritation

* Anger

* Judgment and Self Judgment

* Impatient

* Self Pity

* Depression

* Anxiety

* Stress

 

 

 

 

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Self Pity

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want, need and desire others to feel sorry for me within the context of the ' I don't have time' character, as a manipulation tactic to stipulate others to assist me with the task I must do, instead of being direct, see what needs to be done, what I can do within the space/time consideration and accordingly, if I see in self honesty that I require additional support - I simply ask. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to react either positively or Negatively to the  feedback of whether or not one can assist with additional support in walking a specific task that must be walked wherein, if the person would agree, I would be happy and if the person would disagree, I would again feel sorry for myself and be nasty and resentful towards the other being instead of - what ever the feedback of the other person may be, I stand stable within and as myself and direct the moment according to the feedback, breath by breath.

 

Thus, I commit myself to assess in self honesty, whether or not I require additional support in walking a specific task. When and as I ask for additional support, I make sure that whatever the feedback may be, nothing within me moves as I trust myself that I would sort the point in one way or another independently of a specific feedback. And thus, may the feedback be 'Ok, I can assist' or 'sorry, can't assist here', I breath, I make sure that I clear within and as myself, that no pictures of comparison comes within and as me, that there is no hidden resentment, judgement or spite whether the being cannot assist. All that has changed is  additional piece of information that I would utilized in making the next Move as self movement within and as a clear and stable decision.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to feel sorry for me because I have so many things to do and I don't get things done, not seeing, realizing and understanding that if I would to stop, Breathe, and walk with and as my physical, I might have get to everything in a practical and effective way however, when spending time in my mind, in feeling sorry for myself, all I do is waste the time that I could have utilize to the best of my abilities.

In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to project in my mind, to all the things I would like to get to and accordingly assess what is possible and not possible to walk within a space/time consideration and thus, to not accept and allow myself to feel sorry for myself for not being able to do all that I would like to do and to instead, I commit myself to utilize such moments, in a practical and supportive way where I would assess all the points and prioritize them according to what would support me and the group the most and accordingly, make a decision, so absolutely, in leaving no back door for self pity and sorrow as I understand why I'm here, who I am and what are my responsibilities within my understanding of who I am.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to feel sorry for myself when accessing the 'I don't have Time' character and perpetuate the point through sharing with others all the things I must do during the day so that they could also feel sorry for me and perhaps volunteer to support, not seeing, realizing and understanding that that which I walk, I walk for ME, as the Decision of who I am as an expression of myself and that it is my point to walk because I simply able to and that any emotions like feeling sorry for myself is unacceptable.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to investigate and realize the design of self pity where one would access self pity, to justify for oneself why one is right in being stressed, frustrated, irritated and so on and within that, what one is really desiring for, is recognition from others, to validate one's self sorrow so that one, wouldn't have to face one's creation of self pity/sorrow but rather remain enslaved to one's creation of one's mind with no actual self awareness movement in assisting and supporting self to see, realize and understand what one had accepted and allowed oneself to participate with, in separation of self and accordingly, walk one's self correction into changing self from Mind movement to Self Movement in any given moment.

Thus, I commit myself to SHOW that accepting and allowing self pity, is to prepare the way before self to fall as one is accepting and allowing self defeat, self limitations and self victimization instead of taking a moment to investigate and see what self had accepted and allowed self to be and become in separation of self, as how self had defined self within self pity and to, take a breath in, take a breath out, place oneself back in one's physical body, release self from the pre-CONceived ideas self had defined self as and accordingly, in self honesty and self responsibility, immediately correct and change.