The Drama Queen calling for attention - From Reaction to Correction - Day 260

This is a continuation to:

Just another Drama Queen - Day 258

The Drama Queen Painfully calling for Attention - Day 259

 

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to harm, sabotage and compromise my human physical body deliberately to draw attention to myself. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to use and abuse my human physical body to draw attention to myself.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand my starting point within the Desire to draw attention to myself and within that, haven't investigated the insecurity and inferiority that I had experienced within and as myself  which had led to the harm, abuse, sabotage of myself and my human physical body. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed a world where children do not have respect for themselves and their human physical body to the extent of which they would harm, sabotage abuse and compromise themselves as the human physical body, to draw attention to themselves as this is how they know how to cope with their friction and conflict between the inner and external reality; in this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed a world where children do not learn basic Life skills in how to assist and support themselves to instead of Reacting within and as themselves, to work with the principle of Prevention and accordingly, prevent harmful experiences, without having to go through experiences that could have been prevented if children were taught to be effective and self responsible human beings in this world.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to investigate the Desire to draw attention to myself in every way possible and within that, investigate the trigger point, the thoughts, the images, the pictures, the imaginations that in alignment, activated my want need and desire to draw attention to myself in a specific moment in time as the outflow of these accepted and allowed participation in my mind.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself, already as a child, when seeing what I'm accepting and allowing myself to participate with when I accessed the Drama Queen character in the school play yard, to continue participating within it because I Believed that I couldn't stop now, as everyone will see me and judge me as a Drama Queen which would harm my Status as how I perceived my status to be. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed a world where children are raised to compete and fight for their social status and within that, would allow themselves to harm, abuse, compromise and sabotage themselves to maintain the Perceived Status they believe they must sustain in every way possible.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to see myself as inferior and unworthy in comparison to the other kids and to compensate for the experience, I believed that if something will happened to me, everyone will step in and I'll be the centre of attraction. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to test my popularity within my mind through going into my imagination domain, and play a scene of me laying in the Hospital, in a coma, and people are coming to see me and be with me or just being extremely sick, spending months in the hospital while people are daily coming to see me and hang out with me.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to my peers in relation to how popular they are and how much attention they receive from their friends and family and within that, I believed that only way to get the same amount of attention would be if something terrible will happened to me. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be frustrated that everything is ordinary and normal in my life and accordingly, directed myself into creating deliberate Drama to make my life 'Interesting' according to my eye's view. Within this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that the only reason I would deliberately create Drama in my life is through the belief that I've created within and as myself that Drama=Attention.

 

I commit myself to SHOW and Expose the Educational system that promote Peer Group Pressure that would lead to children harming, sabotaging, abusing and compromising themselves and their physical body for the sake of Social Status and Attention.

 

I commit myself to further investigate all the Dimensions with regards to the Desire for Attention to assist and support myself in being aware of myself in every given moment and within that, to not accept and allow myself to deliberately create unnecessarily harm to myself and my physical body.

 

I commit myself to further investigate my childhood years as I see, realize and understand that my childhood years are the building blocks of the multiple character that I've created within and as myself which led into a complete separated entities that I exists as, in a complete automation and thus, separation from myself and this world.

 

Here is a comment that I received on my previous blog:

X has left a new comment on your post "The Drama Queen Painfully calling for Attention - ...":

 

"I would deliberately create pain or injury for myself to get attention and within that, the extent that I would take my body through, just for the sake of the attention I may receive. I mean - this is cruel self abuse"

THANK YOU MAYA.

I relate to this point.

I have arrived to the point of cutting myself, punching my eye and hitting my head in a moment where I needed attention, I was enraged , desperate and hateful.

 

I commit myself to share and through this support others that had face and are facing the same points within and as themselves as I see, realize and understand that we are all the same and through me sharing my own process, other gets the opportunity to see themselves within my blogs and accordingly, take the responsibility to assist and support themselves within the decisions they make of what they would accept and allow within themselves and what they would not.