Friendship Relationship - Day 29

Art by Andrew Gable

System definition - (dictionary.com)

1.a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2.a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony.
3.a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?
4.a member of the same nation, party, etc.

Friendship with the current system is defined by two or more beings that share the same self interest beliefs, mannerism, opinions and so on. The support structure is to remain enslaved to one's self interest and is in no way a support for oneself and each other to face one's accepted and allowed personality and practically change.

My allocation point with relation to the word Friend is ‘Free-End’ which will be debunked through the Self Forgiveness statements.

So what is Friendship within the principle of Oneness and Equality?
2 or more beings that assist and support each other within one's process of stepping out of one's mind as well as walking one and equal with everyone and everything.

Self Forgiveness -

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself from a childhood experience of friendship to define friendship as a suffocated relationship between human being where my beingness is being suppressed and shivered into separated parts of myself and where my freedom doesn't play a part.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to refuse to see that I define 'My freedom' according to a self interest starting point where I'm only taking myself into consideration and my own fulfilment of my desires and not even considering everything and everyone in existence and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be preoccupied with my own search of a perceived freedom instead of walking towards a solution that is be best for all lives which than, we can all physically live the living expression of the word freedom where we freed ourselves from our own limitation of the mind and establish a world that is physically best for all.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to define myself within friendship as a being with no self freedom, due to childhood experience within friendship relationship and thus, instead of sorting out myself and getting to know Who I am with no attachment to Whom I am with and allow myself to establish a supportive friendship relationships, I've hold onto the memory experienced and developed a protection mechanism so that I won't experience the same suffocated experience that I've experienced within a childhood friendship and instead, went after friendship relationship where I'm the dominant and the controller one so that no one could ever again take my freedom away or went after friendship relationships that are not based on intimacy so that I could get out of the relationship with ease whenever I wanted to and also, when I found myself in intimate friendship relationship, I've done my best to get out of the relationship without even being aware of my doing.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to when I found myself in intimate friendship relationship to sabotage the relationship until it eventually ended and I forgive myself that I haven't taken a moment to see my responsibility within it and investigate the pattern that played out because I preoccupied myself in my mind, justifying and making excuses of why it was about the other being and why I had to act/behave as I did as self righteous and thus, denying from myself the opportunity to correct my living application that is based on fear and transform/change myself to a living physical human being that is Actually LIVING in the physical reality instead of being occupied in my mind 24/7.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear friendships when I'm not the dominant and the controller part in it because than, I would place myself in a vulnerable position according to my experience with a close friendship relationship in my childhood and within that, I forgive myself that what I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see is my attempt to correct my friendship childhood experience from the other side of the polarity instead of aligning myself and establish relationships from the starting point of walking equal and one with myself and the being I'm in a friendship relationship with.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have failed to see my participation as well as my allowance within the friendship relationship connection that I've had in my childhood years and instead of taking responsibility for not directing myself effectively back than within my acceptance diminishment and submission, I've blamed and felt hatred towards the being that I was in friendship relationship with in my childhood years.

Art by Andrew Gable

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the hatred towards the being that I were in friendship relationship in my childhood years is in fact towards myself for how I've accepted and allowed myself to be abused by another human being and within that - abusing myself and I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that the emotions/feelings towards another human being are emotions/feelings that I experience towards myself however only project it towards another as well as realizing that there is a point that I've separated myself from and haven't taken the responsibility to sort myself out and align myself to myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to blame others for not seeing that I'm sabotaging and abusing myself within my friendship relationship in my childhood years from the starting point of expecting them to save me from the relationship and within that I've accepted and allowed myself to be dependent on others to fix my own problems instead of seeing and realizing that I must stand up and correct my living application and no one can do it for me we all as I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to expect others to save me from that friendship relationship without allowing myself to share and open the point with them and thus, suppressing and hiding the truth from them because within me I knew that what ever advise they will share with me, I will have to be the one who stand up and correct myself and I didn't want to do so and have decided to take the suppressing approach and find alternative and manipulative solutions of how to end the friendship without me having to stand up and face myself within standing up.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to relive the childhood friendship relationship through other friendship connections that I have had throughout my life but I've failed to see that I'm approaching friendship relationship from the starting point of fear and thus, bouncing between one side of the polarity to the other instead of stopping for a moment to reassess who I am within friendship relationships as well as investigate what and how I've accepted and allowed myself to become within friendship relationship connection and accordingly correct and change myself within the principle of what is best for all as the living application of - do onto another that which you'd like to be done onto you.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be vulnerable and intimate within friendship relationships because it would than mean that I'm placing myself in a position where I can be manipulated and controlled through the information that I'm sharing and yet, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have failed to see that vulnerability and intimacy cannot be used to manipulate and control unless I allow it as well as I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to give myself the chance to walk equal and one with another human being based on a childhood friendship memory experience and within that, haven't allowed myself to assist and support myself through establishing a supportive relationship with another while walking with another human being in a close and intimate friendship relationship while unconditionally enjoy myself and the other being.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to freak out when and as there was a being that wanted to have a close and intimate friendship relationship with me because I didn't want to take the responsibility that comes with the establishment of such friendship relationship because I've defined that responsibility from the starting point of burden according to the memory experience of my childhood friendship relationship and thus, have misinterpreted responsibility with the suffocation experience which consumed me and haven't allowed myself to walk a physical correction through the establishment of equal and one walking with another human being within a friendship relationship connection .

I forgive myself that I've attached/defined/connected/associated burden with self responsibility because I've defined myself according to What I do and Whom I am with without realizing that none of that is Who I Am as a living expression . I realize that self responsibility is a practical living expression where I allow myself to express who I am within and according to principle that are best for all lives and thus, when and as I see myself accessing the experience of burden, I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back to my physical human body because I realize that within the experience of burden, I've missed a breath and fell into the design of defining myself according to what I do and whom I am with and thus, I go back to allocate my starting point and directing myself through self forgiveness and practical living correction.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as unworthy and thus, when opportunity to establish a supportive friendship relationship with another human being came up, I backed out because I couldn't equalize myself with the being and always saw myself as less than which created a friction within me when the being tried to develop a close relationship with me and I interpreted that relationship creation as a fake relationship creation as if the being is trying to do me a favour by being in a friendship relationship with me because I couldn't even conceive that the other being doesn’t see me as less than and thus would like to develop and establish a supportive friendship relationship with me.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to become so fearful from intimate friendship relationships and within NOT standing up from within myself and sorting myself out, I've walked a looooooooooong time loop just to get to the point of eventually facing myself. I commit myself to direct myself to take the responsibility within each and every single and minuet point that exists within me and isn't aligned in equality and oneness because I see and realize that it is a waste of time to be preoccupied with things that I was able to take on and sort out instead of utilizing my physical time effectively and actually do something that is substantial for a solution that is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to yearn for a close friendship relationship connection but at the same time feared having one and thus, when and as I saw a potential to establish a friendship relationship that is not obligated in essence, I jumped right into it and changed my entire personality just to fit for a moment and experience the feeling of togetherness even if it meant that I had to compromise myself because I it would be as far as I will allow myself to get without getting the same childhood experience of suffocation, being controlled and abused.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to live the living expression of the word 'Friend' as 'Free-End' due to my childhood friendship relationship and thus, since than, even allowed myself to redefine the living expression of the word 'Friend' and Live the correction wherein 'Friendship' IS: 2 or more beings that assist and support each other within one's process of stepping out of one's mind as well as walking one and equal with everyone and everything.

I commit myself to Live the physical practical living expression of the word 'Friendship' within the starting point of establishing a supportive friendship relationships with beings and walking equal and one with and as them within our processes of stepping out of the mind and accessing ourselves as a physical living expression.

I commit myself to change myself and allow myself to be vulnerable with another human being because I realize that no one can abuse, control and manipulate me unless I allow it and thus, I commit myself to take NO shit from myself and the beings that I'm walking friendship relationships with and to stand in absolute self trust and direct myself and the friendship relationship effectively.

I commit myself to assist and support the children to come with developing and establishing a support structure within their friendship relationships and within that, becoming effective human beings within and without.

I commit myself to go through all my friendship relationships that I've had/hade to see the patterns that played/playing out as personalities that I've allowed myself to have/had and walk the correction within myself to not accept and allow myself to continue time looping and within that, sabotaging myself and my friendship relationships that I've have.

I commit myself to stop the back chat towards the beings that I've friendship relationships with because I realize that if I allow back chat towards another human being, there is a point within me that require direction and correction because the back chat reveals a point that I've not sorted out and/or aligned myself yet which is not acceptable.

I commit myself to stop my backchat in totality because every moment that I allow myself to participate with back chat, it is a moment where I've missed a breath and allowed separation to exists within me and this existence as a whole.

I commit myself to take responsibility within my friendship relationships and to be the directive principle according to that which is best for all