Illusion Reality vs. the Physical Reality - Day 3

Day 3

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT seen how I’m building up energy within me through projecting myself into the future in my mind, in expectation to get something or someone, and thus, when the moment that I’ve been waiting for comes and the physical reality doesn’t meet with my mind reality, the energy drops and I access depression.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to take for granted that I sometimes experience depression and low energy because I’m only human and in that, I’ve abdicated the responsibility to investigate and introspect how and why I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exists within and as an energetic polarity design of low/high energy.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to live in my mind through a future projection alternate reality that I’ve created for myself where I could experience myself happy and fulfil if the physical reality will meet with my alternate reality and in doing so, I’ve missed and blind myself to see and face what is ‘Here’ through supressing that which I’ve become while making sure that I will always be occupied in my mind.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed self judgement when my alternate reality in my mind didn’t meet the physical reality and instead of facing myself, I’ve suppressed and moved on to the next alternate creation in my mind. in doing so, I’ve abdicated the responsibility of physically and practically exists Here, in my human physical body and direct myself effectively in order to get myself out of the mind, into my self.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from myself by not even being attentive and aware that I’m accessing depression and thus, when I was asked what is up with me today, I’ve ignored it and made up excuses that even I believed myself so that I won’t have to see and face that which I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exists as and thus, continued creating alternate reality for myself when and as the previous alternate reality that I’ve created and build up for months didn’t meet the physical reality.

I commit myself to – When someone asked me what is up with me today because I’m not “myself”, to take a moment and investigate where I am and what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to participate with. When and as I see myself making quick excuses, I stop, I breathe, and I direct myself to sort out and face that which is here.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from myself through creating alternate realities in my mind as a coping mechanism, to not face the actuality of myself that present itself in the physical reality and in that, I’ve NOT taken the responsibility to walk, face and correct myself in every moment of every breath.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become emotional when and as my alternate reality that I’ve created in my mind as a future projection didn’t met the physical reality and in doing so, I’ve not seen and realized that what I’m actually participating with is energy polarity where as long as I project myself in my mind into the future, I’m experiencing high and positive energy and when the physical reality doesn’t meet the alternate reality, I’m accessing  low and negative energy.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that the alternate reality/fantasy that I’m creating in my mind as future projection is an illusion and in no way physical and real and within that, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to live HERE and FACE myself here through running away to the fantasy/illusion domain in my mind as well as missing an opportunity to transcend a point, to breathe myself  through and direct myself and my world according to principle on oneness and equality.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to live in an illusion/fantasy domain in my mind, to suppress and hide the actuality of myself and in that, I’ve not allowed myself to get to know myself as who I am, and I haven’t allowed myself the opportunity to get myself back Here through facing me in every moment, direct, correct and change.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from myself through the participation in the alternate/fantasy/illusion domain that I’ve created and lived in my mind.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that in essence relationships and sex are a distraction wherein, instead of focusing on myself and my alignment with myself, I’m existing in my mind, creating illusions/fantasies/alternate reality and completely miss that which is HERE as me and in doing so, not only I’m sabotaging and compromising myself, I’m also sabotaging and compromising this world because, until I won’t align myself to myself, and stand in stability in every moment of every breathe, I will not direct myself as this world into a world that is best for all since that which I’m allowing within, I’m allowing without.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to ALWAYS have something or someone to project myself towards through participating and creating a fantasy in my mind so that I won’t have to face myself and that which I’ve allowed myself to be and become and thus, I forgive myself that I’ve never seen that I’m participating in this pattern so that I won’t have to face myself in my immediate environment and actually/practically/physically correct and change myself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to – When focusing and creating alternate/illusionary/fantasy reality, I’ve abdicated my responsibility towards all that is here as myself and this world.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to abdicated my responsibility to assist and support me to step out of my own mind, into the physical reality by focusing only on one point that is based on fear and self interest through living and existing in my mind, creating and developing alternate/illusionary/fantasy reality that keeps me occupied and busy in my mind and in that, I’m missing a breath, missing the physical world and compromising myself, my process and this world.

I commit myself to – When and as I see myself accessing my mind into a projected alternate/fantasy/illusion reality, I stop! I bring myself back here, to and as my human physical body and stabilize myself.

I commit myself to – When and as I see myself going into my mind and looking for the next man to focus on, I stop, I breathe and I direct myself to NOT follow the thoughts. I realize that I’ve done so thus far, to keep myself occupied in my mind so that I won’t have to face and correct myself and actually change who and what I have become.

I commit myself to stop the pattern of always having something or someone occupying me in my mind and become the directive principle of myself and my world.

I commit myself to focus on my alignment of myself so that in every moment of every breath, I will direct and move myself in stability, self trust and self respect, in the utmost effective way, according to principle of what is best for all.

I commit myself to myself – to NOT accept and allow myself to follow my mind into alternate/fantasy/illusion future projection that distract me from what is Here and thus, I commit myself to focus on stepping out of my own mind into the physical reality.