Multiple Partners? Shame on you - Part 5 - Day 146

 

This is a continuation to:

Multiple Partners? Shame on you - Part 1 - Day 142

Multiple Partners? Shame on you - Part 2 - Day 143

Multiple Partners? Shame on you - Part 3 - Day 144

Multiple Partners? Shame on you - Part 4 - Day 145

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT see, realize and understand how and why I've been accepting and allowing self sabotage/compromise/abuse through a decision I've made in the moment of interaction with my new group of friends where we were discussing about Sex and within that, I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to investigate why and how I've made that decision and whether this decision would support me in any way whatsoever.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to prefer fitting in a specific group and within that, have accepted and allowed myself to compromise, abuse and sabotage me as my human physical body because I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to respect myself enough to stand in absolute self trust, the same as yesterday today and tomorrow, but instead, I've made the decision to do what ever it takes for me to feel belong and accepted by group of beings.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that having Sex would result with being accepted by a group of friends that would see me as Equals when I'm acting/behaving like one of them. within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to investigate the nature of those relationship with those women and whether or not, my relationship with them would be a supportive relationship that would result with me discovering and becoming the utmost potential I can be as a human being.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to give Value to my stance in a specific group of friends and within that, have accepted and allowed myself to compromise/sabotage/abuse myself as my human physical body with the choices I made in order to fit in and be accepted by others. Within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to value and accept me, as who I am, in any given moment and thus, had required to be accepted by others to define me as worthy of being in their presence.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand the relationship between my experience before I discovered the 'big city' and the decisions that I've made after I moved to the 'big city' and thus, I've NOT seen that my choices/decisions that I've made were because I've defined the place that I came from and the life that I had as boring and accordingly, wanted to do all the things I believed I missed out thus far due to the limitation I had felt in my home environment in terms of what is allowed and what isn't allowed and thus, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself in that moment of discussing with the new friends about Sex, to define my previous girl friends as boring and nerds which I didn't want to be associate with and essentially, wanted to join the new group of girls that would make me feel alive, not considering the things I would have to do in order to fit in and the consequences of my decisions.