This is a continuation to:
Developing Intimate sexual communication with Self - Day 151
Intimacy in Words - Part 1 - Day 152
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT realize that within an effective agreement/relationship with a partner, communication between the partners must be constructive, supportive and effective and that if one accept and allow any back chat and reactions towards their partner, the entire relationship/agreement is being compromised, abused and sabotaged.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to only communicate with my partner regarding sex when it makes me look better, cooler and exotic and doing that from the starting point of the desire to be more desirable and attractive to him so that he would not consider leaving me for another woman and in this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to consider that if I require to seduce my partner by using specific words in a specific tonality, the foundation of our relationship/agreement is cracked and must be revised within the starting point of whether or not there is a possibility to develop and establish an effective relationship/agreement that is based on a support structure that would result in with our self empowerment and growth to stand, be and become the utmost effective human beings in this world that would walk in every moment of breath within and as the principle of that which is best for all.
I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to develop and establish an effective and intimate communication with my partner because I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I've been trying to hide and run away from facing myself in any given moment by walking into a relationship/agreement that wouldn't support me in any way, to expose and reveal myself as what I've become which through seeing myself as who I am now, I could take self responsibility into changing and transforming myself into an effective human being in this world with the assistance and support of myself in particular and my partner as an additional support.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to blame my partner and react in anger when and as he had done something that I didn't liked/approved and in that, I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to realize that unless my partner and I would write an agreement of what we would accept and allow within ourselves, each other and this world as whole, we would react, spite, and resent each other as our communication from the get go wasn't effective, supported and agreed upon, when and as our expectation from each other wouldn't meet and/or stand in alignment to the physical reality.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed having expectation from my partner and when those expectation didn't meet the physical reality as my partner didn't stand according to my expectations, I've reacted in anger, frustration and resentment without seeing, realizing and understanding that there is no way my partner can stand according to my expectations if we haven't communicated about it and looked at the starting point to see if the point is practical and supportive for both of us and through that, coming together within an agreement whether or not we would walk this point or simply let it go as that is what's best for all.
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