When I'm looking at the pain that was here a few days ago and the pain that was here a month ago - there is one thing in common - on both days I was taking a time off from my day to day responsibilities. As I go along, you'd see why this point is relevant and in fact, the source point of the pain.
So back to a few days ago - when the pain was still bearable, and I had already made the connection between the pain and the menstruation as an actual, real and true fact within and as my mind, I asked a friend for a support through pushing a specific point in my hand as it is usually assist with reducing the pain and with breathing through the pain that is busy emerging in the hand, I see a dimension that is related to the pain and am able to work with it.
When we started to investigate the source of the point, I've seen that the pain started when she was asking me what date it was and my back chat was: "oh, I must get period soon". In that moment, without my awareness, I've accepted and allowed the thought and the pain that comes with getting a period that I've accepted and allowed within and as me. So I deleted the connection between getting a period and having pain and continued with my investigation regarding the source/core of creating the idea in the first place, between pain and getting period.
My friend move her hands and push on my upper right eye which open up a new point within and as myself. What I've seen was memories of women that are being excused from specific responsibilities when having period pain. When I looked within myself, I saw, that creating a pain, once a month, enough to shut me down for a few hours was deliberately created because I'm not a sick person, I usually don't get sick and thus, I always have to maintain my responsibilities. When I moved through this point, the pain was gone.
What I've NOT seen, realized and understood was how, through taking a time off by creating pain, I'm deliberately abusing myself and my human physical body, instead of giving myself a time off without a need to make an excuse for why it is ok for me to take a moment off.
In this, it is not surprising that the 2 times I had headache where times where I "took" a moment off from my responsibilities however, I wasn't stable nor clear within my decision to take the time off because I believed that taking a time off is wrong when there are so many other things that I could do to support myself and others.
Here, I would refer myself and you to a point that I've been writing about a while back and now, when another dimension opened up, I would get into more specificity in my Self Forgiveness and Self Commitment application: Inner dullness light up in Energy - Day 68.
What was not yet seen, understood and realized within and as myself is that who I am is not defined within what I do or don't do but rather, who I am within what I do will determine who I really am as a breath by breath living application.
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