Trying to avoid my responsibilities - Day 39

Marlen Vargas Del Razo

Marlen Vargas Del Razo

 This is a continuation of my previous blogs:

It is NOT fair - Day 37

http://mayaprocess.blogspot.com/2012/05/it-is-not-fair-day-37.html

Judgment isn't Fun - Day 38

http://mayaprocess.blogspot.com/2012/05/judgment-isnt-fun-day-38.html

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to deliberately ignore the points that require to be directed in my direct environment within the thought of: "it's ok, someone else will see it and direct it" and I haven't allowed myself to consider the entire equation - the time of others, the consequences of not directing the point, why do I have resistance to immediately direct the point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist directing the points that require being directed in my immediate environment within the thought - "but why everyone else ignoring the points and only I direct it?"; I realize within this that following the thought is an act of spitefulness not only towards others but also towards myself and if I allow myself to follow the thought and not direct the point, I'm ineffective within my breath by breath application because I allow myself to be influence by my mind instead being the directive principle in every moment of every breath and move myself according to that which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to - in the moment after I see that I've resisted directing a specific point to go and do what was required to be done out of guilt of being self dishonest which within that, what I've missed was that I was still moving and directing myself according to my mind within the emotion of guilt, instead of immediately stop the reaction, Breathe and do what ever needs to be done breath by breath by breath.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to deliberately not direct the points I see that required being directed because I hope that if I won't act on it immediately, someone else will take the responsibility and learn that everything is easier if everyone are equally sharing the responsibilities but I have failed to see that instead of standing as an example and direct myself breath by breath, I'm being spiteful within the experience of righteousness.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to within the experience of being righteous to NOT take into consideration the consequences and outflows of not directing the point that I see to be required being directed because of my own self interest as to gaining the experience of being self righteous.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to within directing the point that required to be directed to cycle the experience of "it is not fair" that I have to do it because others do not, within the resentment and self victimization and I haven't allowed myself to simply direct, breath and do what is required to be done.

Marlen Vargas Del Razo

I commit myself to direct the points that I see as required to be directed in my immediate environment regardless what other do or don't do because I realized that Who I am as a breath by breath decision to walk according to principle that are best for all has nothing to do with anyone but me.

I commit myself to stop feeding myself with energy as the experience  of righteousness from seeing the points that required to be directed while others do not within the attempt to make myself more than them because I realized that what required to be directed from the starting point of what is best for all cannot be influenced by self interest.

I commit myself to stop moving myself through guilt by rather direct myself according to that which is best for all.

I commit myself to stop all back chat and reactions when moving and directing points.

I commit myself to STOP being concern whether or not others will become responsible and focus only on myself becoming absolute responsible being because I realize that only by example I can stand as a support for others, after I've walked through the point and I stand in clarity, stability and in Breath.

It is NOT fair - Day 37

Art by Andrew Gable

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to react in frustration within the thought: "It is not fair; why I have to work more than others because the others aren't standing in absolute self responsibility" and within that, I forgive myself that I've refused to see that making that statement indicate that I'm NOT walking my responsibilities as Who I am within and as breath, but rather still defining myself according to What I do as that very thought shows that I'm comparing my doing to others to elevate myself as self righteous as well as clearly reveal that what I do is not been done breath by breath.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that containing negative energetic charge within the thought: "it is not fair" is the type of thoughts that many will have within the Equal Money System but because I've accepted the thought to elevate myself as righteous, I've failed to take the responsibility to clear myself and then stand as an example for others within sharing how I've supported myself to see and realize that the very acceptance of thought like: "it is not fair", is of no form of support to myself nor others as well as how I've realized that it is not about me nor them - it is about what is required to be done and simply walk it breath by breath within the principle of what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be frustrated when I have more responsibilities than others but what I have failed to realize is that comparison is USELESS and that WHO I am isn't define by what I do or what others are doing and if there is any slight of reactions towards others not walking their responsibly in absolute within me, it actually means that I have not yet walked my responsibilities in absolute stability breath by breath by breath without allowing the mind to influence who I am within the attempt to make myself righteous and more than others to feed the Ego.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that as long as I have reactions towards others whom I perceive to be doing less than me, I'm not effectively supporting them within standing as an example because I've given value to what me and others are doing instead of Who I AM and Who the other are in fact as a living physical expression.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed reactions within the thought: "it is not fair" to elevate my ego as I'm being Good while others are not and within that, I have failed to see that instead of focusing on changing Who I am as a living expression of Life, I gave permission to my mind telling me that I must compare myself to others to feel alive and through the comparison judging me either as good or bad.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to expect that everyone will walk in absolute self responsibility while I haven't yet made the decision to walk in absolute self responsibility and I forgive myself that I've refused to turn the point back to myself and sort myself out and make the absolute decision of walking breath by breath in self responsibility.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to exists within a negative/bad energetic charge towards those whom I perceive to be irresponsible and I have failed to see that I've only reacted to them because I've placed value in my own self interest because obviously, there are many irresponsible beings in this world whom I have not experienced  negative energetic charge towards but because it doesn't effect me, I don't care; which perpetuate the extent of separation from all that is here within not caring for anything or anyone if it doesn't have a direct relationship to my self interest and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to stand in absolute Equality and Oneness breath by breath because I've allowed myself to become separated from all that is Here where WHO I am is directed according to self interest personality.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to question Who I am within my responsibilities to make sure that my starting point within what I do is a direct reflection of Who I AM as the principle of what is best for all and thus, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that my reactions within the thought: "it is not fair" indicate that who I am is still defined by what I do and thus, unless I clear the starting point and making the absolute decision of who I am breath by breath, what I do is useless as it was not a self move, self direction but rather separated entity that moved and directed me to fulfil my self interest desires through the acknowledge of what I do by others.

I commit myself to a breath by breath decision of Who I Am as a living expression of what is best for all.

I commit myself to stand in absolute self responsibility as breath by breath within the decision of who I am as the principle of what is best for all and I commit myself to stop all reaction towards other beings because I realize that reaction is a direct reflection of what I'm allowing myself to participate with, within myself and within my world and with allowing that, I miss a breath and a moment of a living self expression HERE.

I commit myself to stop all back chat with regards to other people's responsibilities as I realize that focusing on others responsibilities within my secret mind/back chat indicate that there is a part of me that I've separated myself from through comparison to elevate myself within the self interest design to make myself righteous/more than, to perpetuate the acknowledgement of me as what I do by others.

I commit myself to share my process of stopping the comparison of myself and my responsibilities to others and How I've transformed/changed myself to become WHO I AM within a breath by breath decision to walk according to principle of what is best for all because I realize that many will experience the same thought pattern when Equal Money System will be established and thus, I direct and move myself to stand as an example and support when the times arrives.