Yesterday I had a conversation with a being that brought up some old Memories of what they Perceived I communicated with them in the past and how from that moment, they developed inside themselves a friction and conflict in relation to what they perceived that I was saying. Then, for the first time, I've Realized that we have never actually communicated with each other from the perspective of, we would always "Hear" what the other is saying from our own personality/character system that we have previously created in our mind and this personality/character is the entity that is "Hearing" and Interpreting what the other is saying according to what would serve the best the Character/Personality so that one would not question the existent of one's personality/character but instead, accept and allow the Personality/character as it is and would doom oneself to a life of misery and resentment towards others that apparently said some stuff that one had reacted to. One would repeat this conversation in one's mind and alter it until at some stage, one would be absolutely sure that these are the words the one had spoken to the extent of validating one's misinterpreted out of context words that the other had originally spoken.
I later on further looked at this point and I've realized that everything that I have heard throughout my life, was never an actual 'Here-ing' because I was always hearing what the other is saying from the Personalities/Characters I've accepted and allowed as the existent of myself with absolute surety that this is who I am.
This is a concerning point: the realization that we have never communicated with each other. This also explains why there is so much friction and conflict within human beings, either suppressed or expressed - we never hear anything pass our Mind and will always hear what we want to hear to maintain and sustain our personality/character we play a role in, within the belief that it is who we are.
This also made me realize why it is so important to not share with another our thought processes before we are clear and stable within ourselves within the trust that we would be able to direct the outflows as backchat that may emerged within another. It is imperative to first walk a point for ourselves, as ourselves, and stand with absolute clarity before we share a point with another that may influence, prolong and compromise the process they are walking.
I've seen that I've been sharing points that I was not yet clear within myself because I felt obligated to share it within the concept of "Friendships". Meaning, I believed that I must share myself with my friend so that they would know that I'm working with the point and that I'm doing something to sort it out and I will prove it to them by sharing with them what I've seen thus far without a real and practical direction within self responsibility for each and every dimension this one point consist of and exists as. I believed that the other won't be influenced by the points that I'm sharing if I say to them: "it's not about you, it's me, you have nothing to do with it, you are just the trigger point that activated the point within myself so don't take it personally".
I believed that this is what Friendship is all about - that one must share oneself without taking into consideration what the sharing my cause in the other human's mind because my self interest within it was to be 'Good' within the other's eyes, within a perceived presented responsibility I've taken on by working with the point of friction and conflict without realizing that sharing at this stage is an act of abdication of self responsibility as I've not placed myself in the shoes of another and how would the other process the information I'm throwing at them within their Mind personality/characterization.
So, this point was a good wake up call for me to redefine the nature of Friendship that I've created as a Script I must live as, as if how I've structured what friendship is within my mind is the Moral code I must follow and cherish. It was also a good reminder for myself to always walk in the shoes of another when and as speaking with another to assess and measure in absolute awareness if I'm able to direct each point that would result and/or manifest from me sharing information/realizations and within this, where the other being is in their process and whether or not what I'm sharing would be destructive or supportive in a given moment.
Thus, I commit myself to place a guard in front of my mind, a guard that is me as the directive principle in breath by breath Awareness, before I speak. In this, I commit myself to walk my process of correction to understand my own mind and thus, understanding others' mind within the realization that all minds are exactly the same in its functioning with the only change of the outfit each one dresses their Personalities/characters. Within this, I commit myself to place myself in the other shoes, to see who they are for real within all the relationships one have with one's mind and accordingly, assess the words I speak and express myself in a way that would be the best support possible. I see, realize and understand that unless that is applied in absolute self honesty, the words I speak can be destructive and poisoned and thus, would be the words that would compromise another, when and as the words I speak are the words I speak to fulfil my self interest desire to achieve a specific outcome that would serve me as a character I've accepted and allowed as me instead of standing as an expression of myself, as a living words, applied in every moment of breath.
