Creating and Living in a supportive environment (part 1) - Day 505

Before I came to live on the farm, I had this idea that once I get here, I will immediately create friendship relationship with all the people who live here; soon enough, I realized that with our busy schedules, we don't have much time to socialize and create relationships with one another. Over the years, I was primarily creating relationship with the people I was sharing the same house with and that was it.

Couple of weeks ago, I faced a big part of  my preprogram design and for a moment, it all seemed to be just too much and a thought came up, wishing Bernard was here to support me with his insights and way of looking at things. With me having the tendency to walk my process alone and only sharing myself with the other farm people after I walked the whole design, I isolated myself from everything and everyone so that I can walk the points for/as myself without anyone seeing me in a state that I, in the mind, defined as weak/vulnerable.

At one point, the farm people became aware of the points that I was walking through and one by one, people came to me, spent time with me and stood as incredible support for me. Initially, I felt uncomfortable being completely open with them in sharing everything that I was facing but soon enough I realized that each one of them had a gift for me as they walked similar points during their processes. Interestingly enough, every time the thought of Bernard came up, someone showed up and shared with me how they faced the point in the past and how Bernard supported them to walk through it for themselves.

With me spending more time with other farm members, I realized that relationships are not something that can be given to you, it is something we can create with one another if we allow ourselves to open up and invest time with each other. This was the one thing I didn't take into consideration when I first came here - relationships build over time, it cannot just happened to you.

What also supported me with the process of developing relationships of support with the farm people was Blackie -

He has back leg injury and he couldn't stay at my house any more as the environment of our house is not as supportive as for instance, in the top house. When I looked at talking with them about the possibility of them taking care of Blackie in their house, there was a part of me that expected them to say 'no' because they already have too many dogs and a baby. The part of me who doubted their perceived answer was a memory from my past where I had to leave my dog behind and it was extremely difficult to find people who were willing to take care of the dog, not to mention that Blackie was injured and needed specific support and attention. When I finally took the step to go and talk to them about it, there was not even a split of a moment where they had to think about it - immediately they saw the whole point, why it is needed and how they can manage the support structure for Blackie.

The recent events made me look at the whole point of creating and living in a supportive environment with people who are living by principles where self-interest is second and what is best for the environment is first. I was looking at how can we expand this way of living so that more and more people would be able to create supportive environments for themselves, outside of the farm.

Understand that even for us, it was a process which firstly (and still) we walk with ourselves. When Bernard died, we all came together and made an agreement to stand as a pillar of support for each other. It is one thing to make the decision/agreement and it is a whole other thing to walk the decision/agreement as an expression of ourselves, moment by moment.

We had to create our decision/agreement to live by principles through which we can support one another. That didn't just happened in one day - this was something we had to create with ourselves and each other and it is the same for everyone who wishes to create a supportive environment for themselves, we must create it. Creation is a process that will take time though, the potential exists for everyone.

will continue in the next blog…

Is living a burden? - Day 408

In the past week, the physical experience I have had was that of ‘carrying a burden’. Physically it felt like a huge stone sitting at the top of my back, pushing pain towards the neck, shoulder and arm. So I was looking at the word 'Burden' and how my experience in my day to day living in the past week has been of ‘carrying a burden’ in the context of Bernard's death which is when the physical pain had manifested.

So for myself, I see what needs to be done as a living principle, I recognize my skills and how to utilize my skills as a living principle of that which is best for all. Only that thus far, as long as Bernard was around, I allowed myself to not fully commit and accept my abilities and/or my skills as I counted on Bernard to always be here and make sure that everything is done effectively, to cross-reference, to check and assess and so, if it happens that I'm out of synch or not aligned, I conveniently trusted Bernard to be here to show me the points.

Bernard always said that all that is required is a decision and the decision must be absolute to such an extent that nothing inside one moves once a decision is made, no matter what one faces. Now I understand what an absolute decisions means, what self-responsibility means and with the pillar, to which I've abdicated my responsibility no longer being here, I cannot use justifications any longer, I must stand absolute as a living principle - that is my decision I commit to.

So with Bernard not being here, I experienced my responsibilities as a burden, as something that is too much to carry and yet, I tried to force myself to stand as these responsibilities and within that, tried to control the outcomes while not understanding that: as long as I use energy to force myself to walk, the decision I have made is not absolute as it is not coming through as a natural expression of and as myself. I continued investigating the movement between force and natural expression and I have found that the only thing that separated me from moving as an expression is my own self interest. Meaning, the decision to stand and walk as a living principle cannot be done while holding on to my self interest, to the preprogram desires, wants and needs; it must be absolute.

"…Now, what is interesting is that most of the things that come up in our Minds have a direct-relationship to the “I”, where we exist through the Mind’s I and not the ‘physical eyes’, where we exist within Illusion instead of reality – where we will thus in such a moment only see the “I’s WANT” – instead of through the physical eyes, in terms of ‘who/what’s involved, what’s the responsibility in reality, what’s the consequence if I do not stand/direct/change/take responsibility in this moment, what would be best for all and my relationship to all/everything involved with taking this action/doing this thing/giving direction?’ None of that is taken into consideration in a moment, only the I of the Mind and its WANT, the MY WANT is taken into consideration. PLUS one get an added FEELING to it (Man!!! What a Prize!!!) when/as one go into that self-interested relationship of “I and WANT” instead of Here and Responsibility…"

Source: http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com/#sthash.6jhQMxKA.dpuf

And that is exactly the point - moving from the I and Want to Here and Responsibility.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to see this life as a burden and within that, hoping for another to walk it for me and for all – as long as I could hold onto my desires, wants and needs without realizing that unless I stand, unless I become the +1 within the equality equation, I am the living expression of a burden, literally. In this, I forgive myself that I haven't accepted my responsibility to stand absolute as a living principle of life that is best for all and thus, I trust myself that I apply myself to the utmost potential of and as myself and within that, I accept my responsibility in this life. In this, I commit myself to when and as I see myself accessing the energetic force of resistance to stand accountable and responsible, to then stop, take a breath, place myself within and as my body, here, and move as a natural expression within the decision to stand as a living principle of and as life that is best for all. I realize that in slowing down, walking moment by moment, it is when I am effective; it is when I support myself and thus others; it is when I am here; and that is my responsibility as it is not so much about what I do, it is who I am within what I do.

Death Research - Day 350

 

This blog is not to terrify you or to make you be more fearful with regards to Death, it is rather to show you how little do we really know and how important it is to investigate all things and keep that which is best for all.

I've recently invested my time in listening to the Death Research interviews which is again to me, emphasized how we have created all sort of assumptions and opinions about Death without actually speaking with anyone that had died, someone who could share in details every moment of their death experience; you know, the real nitty gritty details and not just: "I saw the light".

 

The Death Research interviews are Fascinating from the perspective of being able to walk with a person who actually experience death, the moments of death and what is really happening to the Mind, the Physical and the being in those crucial moments.

I had this fantasy that upon death for instance, one would no longer experience Physical pain, that everything is gone, disappear and you are out of here but as with all fantasies it doesn't work like that.

I had this idea that I can trust what Science describe about death when for example the doctors says to the family of a person who died in traumatic event that the person didn't feel anything, that they lost consciousness and thus couldn't feel a thing. Unfortunately, that is not the case.

 

So why then, is it important to listen to these interviews? For myself, it is a point of motivation to actually Live and Use the time I have left to do something that is constructive, supportive and meaningful on earth, instead of reaching to my end of Life to only find out that I've missed Life while being on earth. Now, that doesn't mean that one should let go of all one's responsibility and have as much fun as possible. No, that is again not real LIFE but a distraction from the actual Gift of Life that only us, as individuals can discover for ourselves unless it is too late, and we die, without being able to come back and correct ourselves.

 

If anything, fearing Death is useless because so long as we fear what is defiantly certain, how can we honestly Live? How did we miss such a simple point of fearing something that is so definitive like the fact that we will die one day while all along, we are missing ourselves when having the physical opportunity to discover the actuality of ourselves as Life, an opportunity that will no longer exists at death. I mean, do you know anyone who didn't die? No right?! So why do we fear dying if it something that is so natural and if we appreciate life so much that we don't want to die, why isn't this appreciation is shown in a physical measurable manner?

 

If we really cared about Life, wouldn't we be busy creating a world where LIFE could be lived by all without having to face struggles, abuse and the atrocities that the majority of us are daily experiencing?

So, there is defiantly a dichotomy here - we fear Death and we do not want to die but yet, we do not appreciate Life according to our collective physical actions. So it is time to investigate these points and become clear about our starting point in terms of deciding if we appreciate and care about LIFE or we just here, till we die, spending the moments we've got left until our Life will be taken from us without any free will. I mean, we do not decide the time we die isn't?

 

So, the Death Research interview Series, describes specific events of death such as Heart Attack, Burning alive in a car accident, Drowning and soon you can find out what one IS experiencing when falling from a tall building. These interviews shocked me as it was nothing I could imagine; Investigate the points, prepare yourself to Life because you are living so why the hell we are not physically living but rather allowing our own mind to dictate us who and what we are? If you Dare to know the truth and debunk your fears - invest in this interview series.