Dec 1, 2012 | By: A Woman

Holding onto a Grudge - Part 2 - Day 231

This a continuation to:

From Evilness to Life - Day 226

The seclusion in Inclusion - Day 227

Seeing the Evil Nature in Dreams - Day 229

Holding onto a Grudge - Day 230

 

 

Kris Lewis - Returning the FireI forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to Delete the Past Memory Experience, Either a Negative or Positive, as I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that storing Past Memory Experiences is how I enslave myself, further into my mind in how I would from there develop preferences, likes/dislikes and emotions and feelings towards other human beings and within this, how I would chose the people I like/dislike being around instead of, assessing and checking the alignment between us to see if the relationship would produce an outcome that would result in the expansion and growth of each other within the principle of that which is best for all.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT realize that as long as I hold grudge towards another human being, based on a past memory Experience where I felt betrayed or hurt, I do not give the relationship a chance to transform to a supportive relationship where both are standing in alignment, assisting and supporting each other to become a better human beings in this world and through that, empower we are through strengthening ourselves with the assistance and support of each other because, the grudge that I hold onto the other human being is like a wall that I'm placing between us, a wall that cannot be walked through so that we both become One, unless I remove the wall in absolute self trust, through deleting the past memory experiences and within that, accepting and allowing myself to walk with a person, as who the person IS, in that very moment of Breath.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to train and program myself to hold grudge towards the people in my world and my environment as part of my Survival tactics, in case that one day, I could utilize that grudge and transform it to a revenge, to strike first with all the weapons I have stored within and as myself, before they could harm and hurt me. In this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that my approach to any relationship is within FEAR as I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to trust anyone due to past memory experiences where I perceived people to harm and hurt me.

 

Moreover, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that I've approached Relationship from fear, from a very young age and within that, didn't walk the 1+1 equation in understanding that that which I fear, persists and manifest itself over and over again, until I stand up and change.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT realize that when and as I hold grudge towards another human being, I'm not accepting and allowing myself to create a co-existing relationship with them, because I would always be in a state of protection and defense towards a possibility of getting hurt.

 

In this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that so long as I hold onto past memory experiences of all the times I perceived others to disappoint me, harm, compromise, betray or hurt me, I cannot expect having relationship with people from an Equal and ONE physical starting point as I gave value to past memories experiences which through the memories, as fears, I accepted and allowed myself to move and direct myself.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that so long as I'm holding a past memory Event/Experience that I've defined within and as myself as Negative, I'm Not accepting and allowing myself to really get to know another human being as my approach from the get go was of and as fear. In this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I have never in fact, accepted and allowed myself to get to know another human being so long as I hold memories within and as myself through which, I would interpret what I think and perceive they are saying, through associating their words, behaviour and mannerism with past Memories Events/Experiences that I've stored within and as myself.

 

 

Will be continued..

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