This a continuation to:
From Evilness to Life - Day 226
For the context of this blog, Please read Earth's Journey to Life blog - "Birthing ourselves as life, as a partnership Part 11 - Understanding the reflection in the mirror - I feel excluded".
Here is an extraction from the blog:
"...The symbolism of seeing 2 people busy with something where I see myself as incapable of participating on their level – Now here ‘their level’ means that I do not see myself as capable of doing what they are doing – be that a form of socialising / work related / discussion related.
Firstly here to notice, is that I had judged myself as incapable of participating –which means that I had judged myself as ‘not good enough’ – But this judgment stands in comparison to these 2 other people. So – through me judging myself through comparison as to what it is that I see others are doing – I ‘exclude’ (separate) myself from what is happening, as I had made the decision and choice within and as myself that I am not capable (I judged myself). I am thus the one who ‘excluded’ myself from what was happening and by me not wanting to seeing that I had done this, I blame others ‘for excluding’ me, when it was in fact me excluding me for what was happening.
When we face points where we ‘feel’ excluded we are to investigate the nature of the situation as we create our own self fulfilling prophesies where we exclude ourselves (through our judgements) and then project these feelings of exclusion onto the people whom we excluded (judged) from ourselves…"
After I read Esteni's blog, I had a look within and as myself, whether or not, when and as I'm one of these 2 people, and I see the third being struggling within and as themselves with their own self judgement that was described, if there is any Evil Energetic Movement within and as myself, enjoying the fact that I am now More than within the other's eyes.
I was not surprise to find within and as myself, the Dark Evil joyful character that I've created within and as myself, wherein, I've accepted and allowed myself to participate in the Superior/Inferior game that I played with the third being, within and as my resonance expression. In these moments, I wouldn't make an effort to include the third being and I would deliberately create a 'special relationship' with the second being so that the Third being would be jealous, judgemental towards oneself through comparing themselves to me.
I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to consider the beings in my direct environment and within that, how I'm directly responsible for how they would experience themselves wherein, I would deliberately accept and allow myself to create a friction and conflict within and as themselves through presenting to them a specific picture which they would be jealous at and activate jealousy towards me which would give me the experience of being More and Superior in my own mind. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT considering all points, all relationship, all consequences and align these points/relationships/consequences within and as the principle of what is best for all and do onto another that which you'd like to be done to you wherein, instead of deliberately creating situation where I know that others would fall into their patterns and I would experience myself as More in comparison to their fall, to stand as a pillar of support for myself and others in walking WITH other human beings, as Equal, where we could learn from each other, expand, grow and empower ourselves and each other in walking together as ONE unit instead of Two or more enemies.
Thus, I commit myself to- when and as I find myself in situations where I'm having a conversation with a person and there is another being in the room, accessing inferiority, self judgement and jealousy, I stop, I breathe and I look within and as myself in checking my own alignments in that moment, my starting point, energetic movement, what would be the best solution in consideration of all the relationship that exists within that moment and accordingly, align myself, align the situation in standing in absolute self honesty within and as myself.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to form relationships and groups that exclude some beings and include only the "special" ones according to my 'likes' and/or my 'Preference', not seeing, realizing and understanding that my 'Likes' and 'Preferences' were created by me, according to a specific program design that I've accepted and allowed as myself, in separation of myself and that I've utilized these 'likes' and 'Preference' based on what would give me the best result outcome for an experience that I would be satisfied with, with no consideration regarding who am I stepping on, in the process of me getting the experience that I desire to have within and as myself.
In this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that what I accept and allow myself to participate in my direct environment, I accept and allow to exists in the world wherein, we created Groups, Cultures, Religion that Includes some and excludes others without realizing, understanding and directly seeing that unless we stand together as ONE group, united, within ONE principle of that which is best for all, there is no chance we would ever bring about a world that is Best for all living creatures.
And in this, I commit myself to assist and support myself in changing the way I view myself and this world, from a mind self interest dimension to a physical absolute and direct seeing of all the relationships, all the consequences, all the points that form our lives as a whole and to do so, I start with myself, in assisting and supporting myself to dissect all the Evil parts of myself that I've created, accepted and allowed within and as myself and bring myself to physical equal and one standing with all that is here through first stand in equal and one relationship with my own mind, expand myself in standing equal and one with the beings in my environment to then standing equal and one with the rest of existence.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to treat others in the very same way that I wouldn't want others to treat me, from a starting point of Spite, in self interest, to diminish them so that I could be More, not seeing, realizing and understanding that the reason why I wouldn't want to be treated in a specific behaviour by others is because I know, within and as myself the evilness that this behaviour is consisting of and existing as because I'm doing the same to others. And thus, instead of developing and establishing relationships that are based on mutual respect, understanding, expansion and growth, I create relationships that are based on pure Evil to elevate my own Experiences of being more on the backs of and the expanse of others.
I commit myself to - when and as I see others reacting to me, to assess and check in self honesty whether or not I had a part in how they are experiencing themselves, whether or not I'm directly, and deliberately supporting their reaction so that I could experience myself as more and in doing so, I check and assess how I would react if I were in their shoes and accordingly, align the moment in the utmost supportive way in taking into consideration the consequences and outflows of each decision that I make.
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