Nov 26, 2012 | By: A Woman

From Evilness to Life - Day 226

There are moments in time where one sees what one is doing to another, what it is that one is deliberately accepting and allowing within and as oneself, one see’s how one's words and actions has an affect on others in harmful and destructive ways and yet, one would continue one's participation in one's design/program/pattern/character/personality and would never take responsibility for such moments in making sure that one would not accept and allow oneself to ever again harm oneself and other human beings in this world.


This is why I am now writing this blog as I've seen in myself the Evilness that exists within myself, that I've accepted and allowed to accumulate Evilness  over the years, without giving myself any constructive and supportive direction and as such, my actions, my words and my resonance outflows, may harm and cause damage to others as the only things that I would consider in such moments are ME and my Experiences and I would not consider the other beings at all. Till here no further.


This blog will be an overview of the points that I've seen within and as myself thus far and from here, I would go into more details and specifics in assisting and supporting myself in walking the path of standing Equal to and One as other human beings and within that, stand as a support rather than a machine that suck the life out from other beings to sustain my Ego/Personalities as how I've defined myself as 'who I am' in separation of myself, others and this world as a whole.


I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to desire to be so much more than another human being that within that, I would accept and allow myself to walk over their toes and smash them so completely, in making them so small within and as my mind so that I could remain in control over them which would give me the Experience that I'm More. Within that, I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to question myself as to why and how I have accepted and allowed the pattern/design as desire to be more, to exists within and as me and within that, haven't assisted and supported myself in stopping this pattern/design as the desire to be more and accordingly standing in alignment to the other being, in an assisting and supportive relationship instead of diminished and compromised relationship that would not benefit anything or anyone.


I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to try and attempt to make people so small in comparison to me, in my own mind, internally and externally and thus utilized all my "powers" as manipulation and defence tactics in doing all that I can so that they won't grow and expand themselves within who they are so that I won't have to stand in Equality with them but always remain more than them, in my own eyes but then, not seeing, realizing and understanding that I'm not only compromising them, but also compromising myself in  deliberately not assisting and supporting myself and others, equally as one to grow, expand and empower ourselves in becoming effective, trustworthy and respectful human beings in this world.


I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to deliberately create and manifest relationships in my life with beings that I "see" and perceive as less than me so that I could always stand in a superior position, in control over them. Within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself when the Relationship Dynamic changes and the being is actually moving and changing themselves in assisting and supporting themselves to grow, expand and empower themselves within who they are, to react within and as myself because how I have defined myself as more and superior according to them, has now collapsed and I can no longer sustain the superior personality that I've created within and as myself. Within this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to assist and support myself in standing in absolute self trust as who I am, without needing/desiring/wanting to be More than who I am and specifically, in comparison to others.


I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how Evil one can be and become, in how one would speak, move, behave to other human beings in one's world within and as oneself when and as one accept and allow oneself to deliberately manipulate oneself and one's relationships with other human beings, within the starting point of keeping the Relationship Dynamics as it always was in satisfying one's desire to define oneself according to a specific attribute or component that one perceive oneself as lacking within and as oneself through the other being.


I commit myself to STOP the Evilness that I've accepted and allowed within and as myself and within that, be aware of such moments where I would change my personality in the attempt to diminish others on my behalf, to sustain my own self created definition that I've defined myself as within my relationships with others.


I commit myself to assist and support myself in walking the process from Evilness to life that is best for all and within that, to investigate all the points within and as myself that I've accepted and allowed the Evil nature to override the principle of what is best for all life.


I commit myself to Re-Establish my relationships with other people in my world and direct myself within the relationships according to that which is best for all as a principle wherein, we transform the relationships to constructive and supportive where both would assist and support ourselves to grow, empower and expand ourselves as living beings instead of limit, compromise and diminish ourselves within who we are in our relationships to ourselves and each other.


I commit myself to investigate why and how I've created relationships that I could experience myself as superior and within that, its relationship to the polarized experience within and as myself, as inferior that I've attempted to suppress through creating relationship that would defined me externally, otherwise.


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