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This is a continuation to:
The Elite's delusion of stress - Part 1 - Day 45
The Elite's Delusion of Stress - Part 2 - Day 46
And:
This is a continuation to:
Copy Paste Character - the Way for Success? - Day 183
Copy Paste Character - The Education System - Day 184
Is it possible to Cheat yourself? Day 185
It is time to STOP Existing as a Human Machine - Day 186
In the last 2 days, while walking the Copy Paste character, I came to realize that my application within the tasks that I do is not Absolute from the perspective of investing the time each task require to be done to its utmost potential, breath by breath. That is because I've accepted and allowed way to much task than what a person can handle in a time frame of 24 hours a day. The starting point when taking these tasks upon myself, as I've mentioned in my previous blogs, was to be defined as MORE because I couldn't see myself as worthy as Me, here, as who I am but rather, I've defined myself according to other's eyes views and unless they saw me as more, I couldn’t worthy or respect myself.
So now, when slowing down, I see that I must face the consequences and keep on doing what I usually do however, the starting point must be changed and within that, I must be patient and humble with myself, letting go of all the loose hands of the desires I've accepted and allowed within and as myself and walk, as who I am, within what I do, one breath at a time, one step at a time and be OK with the fact that not everything will be done in time within the realization that there is so much one can do in every breath.
The reason why I'm writing about this point today is because I experienced a massive frustration in the past few days because I wasn't satisfied with my application in general and specifically, with my participation in the Desteni Forum where my Support wasn't as effective as I can support because I've only scanned through the posts without actually reading the posts and paying attention to the details along with missing a day where I wasn't on the forum at all which created the consequences of spending extra time on the day after, to be able to catch up with everyone's processes. I wasn't satisfied from the support I was sharing as I've seen the cracks slowly but surely coming into the surface and how within that, I'm compromising other people’s processes which is to me, not acceptable living application.
So, how to go about and change my application to be and to stand as effective as possible within each and every breath, with the time frame I have in every day, with my current projects and task that I'm participating with and within it all, how to make sure I'm not compromising and sabotaging myself, my human physical body and the people that I'm working and interacting with.
What was fascinating in the last 2 days was seeing myself trying, in my mind, to find a new short cut, how to round a few corners so that I could change my application meaning - how can I have more time to do what I do and physically invest the time/space required to do it all. And as I realized there is no way to make it work, I became frustrated, angry, irritated and - missed many many breaths which within that obviously, couldn't be effective lol - how can one be effective when one is spending time in one's mind, trying to figure out how to be effective.
When I talked with a friend that has walked the same point I've been walking and now, re-walking, she referred me to my own blogs from day 45, 46 and 67.
So - let me walk this again, in greater specificity and to stop the time loop for once and for all as I see, realize and understand that accepting this within and as myself, in unacceptable as it is compromising all of our processes as a whole.
Thus, let's look at the Character dimension of "I don't have Time".
I've written down for myself, the character dimensions as Fear, Thoughts, Imagination, Back chat, reactions and physical behaviour which I will slowly but surely publish, once I walk the correction through Self Forgiveness and self Commitments. After I'm done, I will walk the Consequences Dimension as the Self Forgiveness and Self Commitment that encompass the entire Character as I gain more perspective and realization of my own accepted and allowed 'I don’t have Time' Character.
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