Emotional Attachment and Physical connection (Part 4) - Day 463

Within this blog series, I have shared with you how I investigate a reaction that I had when I heard that one of the dog is sick. What seemed to be a very 'small' reaction, opened up a fascinating point in understanding better how the mind works and its relationship to relationship we have with others beings (animals and humans). So if you haven't already, I suggest reading through the blog series:

 

Emotional Attachment and Physical connection (Part 1) - Day 460

Emotional Attachment and Physical connection (Part 2) - Day 461

Emotional Attachment and Physical connection (Part 3) - Day 462

 

When I opened up the point with Sunette, she explained the design of Emotional Attachment - emotional attachments are very specific, wherein, when one had form an emotional attachment to another being, there will be ONE particular energy experience connected to that ONE being. So in other words, with every being we have emotional attachment to, each one of these beings would represent one particular and specific energy experience that we unconsciously believe that we are unable to stand as, as an expression of ourselves and thus, we require having a being around to activate the energy experience for us to access it.

 

Now, to understand Emotional Attachment, one have to understand the basic principle of Energy - Energy is ALWAYS polarized, when positive energy exists, Negative energy Exists. To expand your understanding on Energy - please visit EQAFE and listen to the Quantum Mind Self Awareness Series

 

Emotional attachment is based on polarized dependency structure where the negative emotional energy would protect the truth of the positive energy experience that one had associated with another being. Meaning, the positive would imply that we perceive the other being to give us something that we are unable to give to ourselves - and the negative would suppress or hide the positive, of how we have defined our relationship to another. This creates a relationship of dependency rather than a relationship that is based on mutual support structure.

 

So to make it clearer, let's have a look at my relationship with Gracie - I have found that the Word that describe best the ONE positive energy experience that Gracie gives me is Comfort. Meaning, I was able to access the Energy experience of feeling comfort when Gracie is around. Within this, I have created a dependency relationship to Gracie wherein, only when Gracie is around, I could access the Positive Energy Experience of feeling comfort. To Balance the Positive Energy, Negative Energy must be created and that I did every now and then by being concern about Gracie's health. For instance, one day, I hangout with Gracie and enjoyed the comfort in her presence and all of a sudden, I had concerns because her skin was too pink and irritated due to the amount of hours she spent in the pool without giving her body the time to dry itself. Now, in self honesty, the concerns were more in the nature of fear because practically, it does make sense that if the skin is wet for so long without being dried properly, the skin will be irritated but instead of being concern about it, the practical step would be to support the skin by simply dry it properly.

 

When the Vet called and said she needs to be tested again, it activate the Negative Energy Experience within myself as a reaction. The nature of the reaction was actually, a fear of lose which was implied by the words I spoke at that moment - "Why all the animals I am attached to have to die" (for context - Emotional Attachment and Physical connection (Part 1) - Day 460)

 

Here is an example of how we are solidifying the dependency relationship to other beings in our lives where we had associated Positive Energy Experience we are accessing to, when they are around or when we think about them, but at the same time, we generate Negative Energy Experience when for instance, we have concerns of fears that something bad is going to happened to them which implies fear of lose. The circling between the Positive and the Negative keeps the dependency relationship intact as we normally would never question the positive or the negative energy we have created and keep on creating towards the other being. The consequences of not questioning this point is a life of Energy expression that is dependent on Positive and Negative instead of creating ourselves as independent beings where we are able to access specific expressions as a living expression of who we are.

 

This actually led me to ask myself the next question - is it that we fear losing the other being, or is it that we fear losing the Positive Energy Experience? Is it that our relationships to others is based on the type of energy we can draw from them or is it a relationship that is based on a physical connection, where we are able to share and express ourselves within one another?

 

More in the next blog.

I have to Say Something - Day 44

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to desire speaking when I'm in the presence of another human being and thus, I would look at my information and memory data base in my mind, for something relevant to say or talk about and instead of stopping and simply be HERE, breathing and being comfortable within myself in the presence of another and check Who I am at the moment and how I can assist and support myself with clearing myself and remaining here, I force myself to speak, to avoid the uncomfortably that I experience with silence when I'm in the presence of another.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself force myself to speak when I'm in the presence of another human being because I feel uncomfortable with silence and I haven't realized that the uncomfortably that I'm experiencing with regards to silence is because I have never been silent within myself and my human physical body, Here, within and as the breath and I have no idea how to move and direct myself within silence because as long as I live, there was always a movement, back chatting, inner conversation in my mind where silence and hereness was never part of the equation.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to be and become comfortable within myself and my human physical body because I have defined comfortableness through my mind, as experience that I can only have through having conversation either with myself in my mind or with other human beings and I haven't ever consider that the experience of being comfortable is based on energy participation instead of an physical expression.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear being judged as a boring person to hang out with when I'm remaining silent and not speaking much and thus, I forced myself to speak and be communicative and I haven't realized that in that moment, I'm being directed by my mind and that self judgment is my directive principle which raise the question: Who is than the being that speaks/communicate because obviously, it wasn't a decision that I have made to move and direct myself when I followed blindly after my mind and forced myself to speak.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have refused to see that I have never really been comfortable with myself within and as the breath because I've defined/judged/associated/connected/attached comfortableness and energy and thus, to be able to feel comfortable, I had either speak with myself or with another human being to generate energy.

I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to consider Physical Comfortableness with myself and my body when I'm with other beings because I've defined myself according to how others perceive me and thus, if I get positive feedback, I feel comfortable and when the negative feedback arrives, I would feel uncomfortable and yet, I have failed to realize that Who I Am as comfortableness isn't define by anyone but it is a physical expression that is equal to and one as Who I am.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to question/consider why is it that I require to go to my information/memory data in my mind to be able to communicate instead of simply breathe and speak what ever is Here with no previous preparations and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to limited my expression to that which is in my information/memory data base in separation of me and haven't allowed myself to align to all that is here.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to relay and be dependent on my information/memory data base to be able to communicate and within that to limit and restrain myself to my mind instead of becoming a physical expression within my living application.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to desire speaking and communicate with people in my environment just for the sake of speaking because I've defined myself according to the feedback that I'm getting within the communication process and thus, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to search for a point to communicate about with the beings in my environment because I require the energy boost from them which I can get through their feedback and I have refused to see that who I am within the desire to speak is an energy addict that require a dose the energy drug to sustain myself and my personalities.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself as an energy vampire to suck energy from the attention that I'm getting from other beings and thus, I experience myself as "I have to say something" because otherwise I won't be noticeable which is an important element for my personality survival.

I commit myself to stop looking and searching for conversation topics when I'm in the presence of other human beings and simply be Here, breath by breath.

I commit myself to stand in comfortability when and as I'm in the presence of other human beings because I realize that Who I am is not dependent of where and with whom I am

I commit myself to establish comfortablity within myself that is not defined according to thoughts, emotions, feelings
I commit myself to stop my inner conversation, back chat, thoughts that gave me the wrong impression of comfortableness and to stand as a physical expression of comfortableness that can be measured in every breath.

I commit myself to stop the energy consumption of my human physical body through the desire of feeling comfortable because I realize that comfortableness as a physical expression doesn't require any movement of energy but actually vice versa - physical expression of and as comfortableness is when there is no movement of energy and self is 'Here', breathing, equal to and one as the human physical body and all that exists.

I commit myself to stop following my mind in the attempt to find a point to speak about in my information/memory data base because I realize that when I'm following my mind, the directive principle is fear and self judgement which indicate that I'm not present, aware and attentive and essentially, not breathing.

I commit myself to stop existing as energy and become a living physical expression.
I commit myself to stop the habit of getting energy through the attention that I'm getting when I'm speaking and thus I stop the experienced of "I must say something" to draw attention and getting energy.

I commit myself to stop the dependency on the information/memory data base in my mind and simply be Here, present, attentive, aware and breath.

I commit myself to stop the vampire energy sucking to sustain the personalities that I've created and become a physical living being by walking breath by breath.