Living 'Direction' as a Living Word - Day 467

This is a continuation to my recent blogs From Limitation to Direction - Day 465 and The start of 'Direction' as a living expression - Day 466. I strongly suggest that if you haven't already, read through these 2 blogs for context to this blog post.

 

So, I made the commitment to start my process of 'Direction' and within that, accepting that it would be a learning curve through a moment by moment living application. 'Learning curve', from the dimension that I was not pre-programmed to 'Direct' in how I am assisting and supporting myself in becoming a living expression of 'Direction' as a living principle of 'What is best for all' ; my pre-program design of  'direct' myself/people/situations was according to a self interest starting point, in fulfilling my wants/needs/desires. Within this thus, I realized that It is a process of Creation - creating within and as myself, 'Direction' as a living word, a living expression of myself which is created through/by  accumulation of moment by moment living application of 'Direction'.

 

The night of publishing the blog: From Limitation to Direction - Day 465, I couldn't sleep, I was fully awake, restless; Without my awareness, I accessed a point of limitation again where in my mind, I would blame another for not directing a point that I asked them to direct for me because I saw myself as unauthorized or powerless in directing a specific point. Here, I noticed that there is a problem because just a few hours ago I have made an agreement with myself to start my process of 'Direction' and yet again, I was falling into the pre-program design of blaming another for not directing points for me.

 

Initially, when I saw that I accessed the pattern again, I stood up from within myself and said: "No, this is bullshit- I see where the 'urge' of blaming another is coming from, I see that I require to direct the point myself but this can wait for tomorrow  because it is time to sleep now". BUT - nope, I was still very much awake.

 

Then a memory came up - my father once told me that when solving a mathematical equation, drawing the question leads to half of the solution; I also remembered how Bernard used to show us how to present to others that which he was speaking about. Meaning, while he was presenting a new concept or a new direction, he would also draw his words on a piece of paper as a way of ensuring that everyone has a tangible understanding of that which he was speaking about.

 

So I got up, took my note book and started to organize my thoughts by drawing the structure as a solution that I was looking at - I wanted to assess if what I saw in my mind does actually make sense in the physical reality on a practical level. I enjoyed the drawing part - it was like getting a new puzzle and now I had to match the pieces and put them in the right location. When I was done, I was pretty satisfied because I was now ready to present the solution that I was seeing to the group I was working with and within that, to finally direct the point to its upmost potential. At that stage, I could put my body to rest.

 

The  next day, I presented the point to the group and everyone were clear and could follow the flow charts that I drew and at the end of my presentation,  we were all on the same page,  a decision was made immediately and taaaa daaaa - a point of direction that I was struggling with for so long,  was now structured and directed. 

 

What I realized from this event is the following:

In the past, when I asked someone to direct points for me, I was basically stating within myself that I'm limited, powerless and inadequate in being able to stand as the point of direction. However, what I haven't realized before was that the only reason why I 'felt' this way was because the 'direction' was not clearly defined within myself and instead of taking responsibility and clearly define the direction within myself, I shifted the responsibility towards another to figure out how to direct a specific point which within that, I believed that I won't be accountable for the manifested outflows. Here obviously, there are many other dimensions involved whereas for instance, it is 'easier' to ask someone else to find a way to direct a point because if the direction will not manifest to best outcome, I could blame the other for the decision that they made in how they  directed a specific point. I will expand about this points more in one of the next blogs to come.

Thus, the practical correction here - When and as I see myself going to another expecting them to direct a point that I see required to be directed, I stop, I take a breath in and I remind myself that I haven't clearly defined the direction within myself and therefore, instead of looking for solutions outside of myself, I place 'Direction' within and as me and until the solution presents itself and clearly defined within myself.

Within the example above,  holding the information in my brain was not sufficient as I didn't stand equal and one to the information and therefore, the correction here was to bring all  the information 'here' and draw everything on a piece of paper to visually see the time lines in the physical reality and how everything can practically come together to manifest the best outcome.

This is not an absolute point wherein, sometimes I may not see all the information and therefore, won't be able to utilize the tool of drawing to structure the information effectively. Within my process of 'Direction', I may find that there are other tools that I am able to utilize to assist and support myself to express the direction that I see fit. There would also be times where I self honestly won't see any practical solution/direction, I then commit myself to discuss with the other the problem that I am seeing and through communication, we utilize the power of 2 or more in my name as we together look for solutions/directions that we are able to stand as.

 

And with how process works - when one point is walked, the next point opens up for one to walk - so stay tuned as I continue sharing the process of 'Direction'.

 

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Art work - Dottie Gleason

Recreating our Potential (Part 2) - Day 450

This blog is a continuation to:  Trying to be someone we are not  - Day 448 and Recreating our Potential - Day 449.

 

In the previous blog, we had a look at how the desire to be someone that we are not, lead to physical consequences for instance, within the example of me straining my body, trying to superimpose my abilities to the Yoga Teacher abilities without considering the Physical body and the path I had to walk to constructively support the body.

 

From here, another dimension opened up which I will explain in this blog post:

What I found within the example that I shared was that I could only desire having the yoga teacher's physical abilities once I started practicing yoga myself which is when I could see the potential within myself. So I realized that when we want to be someone or something that we are not yet standing as, the desire is coming up because we can already see a spark of potential within ourselves standing as the point however, what we tend to miss is the practical 'How-To' support ourselves to stand as a specific point as an equal and one living expression of ourselves.

 

In other words, if I look at my own life, I never wanted/desired to be a gymnastic or opera singer because practically, I didn't see that I had the potential skills to stand as these points after I tested these expression in my early years. Same with for instance, I never had the desire to be an engineer or a pilot like my father and brother because practically, I didn't see the potential of me being extremely good in standing as either of these points. With Yoga, I could see the potential and from seeing the potential, the desire emerged.

 

What I am showing here is that the desire of being someone/something that we are not indicate a potential we see within ourselves which is a pretty cool point to become aware of however, if we don't see the potential within ourselves to stand as a specific point as an expression of ourselves, the desire will not be our directive principle.

 

That leads to the next point that I wanted to discuss here - when we want to express ourselves as a specific point, as we see the potential within ourselves to stand stable and effective as who we are, it is extremely important to first look at our starting point and clearly define the starting point within ourselves. If we don't do that, we would blindly follow our desires and would compromise ourselves and/or out environment but if we are clear and stable within our starting point wherein our starting point is aligned with the principle of that which is best for all life, we could be effective human being that utilize our true potential for the betterment of us all. 

 

For example, let's say that we see our potential to stand as a leader in this world - if there is any slight of desire to stand in the position for example, due to the perceived idea of all the benefits and rewards that we would receive as leaders, we won't stand as a supportive and constructive leaders as an expression of ourselves and accordingly, our leadership skills would be contaminated with our self interest. However, if our potential is genuine and our starting point is within the principle of that which is best for all life, than we must realize that we are working with a potential and to nurture a potential, we must walk a specific path, develop ourselves and our leadership skills till we stand as a leader as a natural expression of ourselves.

 

Within that context, mimicking another leader's expression would manifest consequences such as for instance, people would resist us and/or ignore us because they could sense that there is no substance within our expression and therefore, they would not trust us. However, if we slowly but surely first walk with ourselves, become self leaders as a proven application of ourselves, than we could expand our skills we have built within ourselves and stand as an example that is trustworthy.

 

That is in essence the realization that we must create our potential within a solid, trustworthy, genuine stance within ourselves, when/as we recognize a potential to stand as a specific point within ourselves and/or within the world system. A potential would remain only a potential unless we recreate ourselves as such through making a commitment to stand absolute in how we walk the path to develop our potential and transform it to a skill as an expression of ourselves.

Manipulation - the Art of Control - Day 418

Continuing with discovering the Art of Control that we so much got used to and without our direct awareness are walking our life within the starting point of Control. In the Previous 2 blogs I was showing examples of how we control specific situations in our lives, as a reaction within ourselves to a specific outcome and how little do we actually embrace moments in assisting and supporting ourselves to step out of our mind and actually investigate and discover who we are in relation to these moments.

 

Today, I will share a short story of a moment that had happened a few weeks ago, a moment that opened up for me an entire ray of pre-programming that I became aware of.

Esteni and I went to the mall and while we were driving there, I remembered that I needed to also buy a fabric softener in a specific store. To understand the time line of events, I have to give you an idea about this mall lol. This mall is not structured effectively from the perspective of - to cross the mall from one end to the other, you have to walk quite a bit and if you don't have much time, you have to calculate everything specifically to be able to manage your time effectively. The store that I wanted to go to is in the other side of where Esteni and I planned to go to and so, I asked Esteni: "Where do you want to park the car?" but what I really wanted to say was: "please park in the under parking because I need to buy a fabric softener". Before she answered my questioned, I made sure that I will get the answer that I wanted to get and to thus, control the decision to suite my momentary desire. So I said to her: "I'm asking because I would like to go to Dis-chem to buy a fabric softener". Esteni said "Ok" and I felt quiet weird within myself so I took a moment to investigate why the hell I couldn't be direct? Why wasn't I direct by saying: "please park in the under parking because…"?

 

When investigating the point I have realized that: "OMG" my entire design of communication is of Control and to Control I had to use manipulation. One would think that this is not a big point because no one is getting hurt from such "small manipulation" though, looking at my entire life, how I communicated with people, how I tend to get what I wanted without being direct, by manipulating my environment to get this "little" points as a desired outcome of events.

 

So I kept investigating and I looked at fears from the perspective of - What is the Fear through which I have programmed myself to communicate indirectly with other human? Is it that bad to get 'No' as an answer? Is my Ego will crash if I be direct and get a 'No' as an answer? Is it that I fear that others will see me as control freak? Is it that I don't want to be perceived pushy?  Gush, this was a revealing point in my process - to see how I have structured my communication with people by manipulating moments to be able to control a moment according to how I wanted the moment to play out.

 

Obviously there are many dimensions that are connected to the pattern of not being direct in a communication, which I will write about in the future though, here, what we must become aware of is our tendency to indirectly attempt to control a moments.

 

The fascinating thing was that - when I shared with Esteni what I've seen myself doing, she suggested that I will correct the statement and ask her directly to park in a specific place. You cannot believe how hard it was for me. I felt embarrassed to speak the question directly; I have tried so many times to structure one simple question in a direct way and nothing authentic came up. This showed my how rooted this design is within me - this is how I have expressed myself throughout my entire life so now when I attempted to speak directly, I met with resistance because, as all of us know, change usually start with resistance. So now that the point is 'here', I'm assisting and supporting myself to change the design that I've created as myself and be direct in my communication - there is no magic cure, it is a process that started with a decision to will myself to be direct with myself and others and I commit myself to moment by moment assist and support myself to change my living application, as a living expression of myself where I no longer accept and allow myself to communicate indirectly but instead, assisting and supporting myself to stand as expression of integrity in every given moment within clear and direct communication.