Stopping Regret, Becoming Physical - Day 139

This is a continuation to:

Sexual Journey - Regret as Fear of Loss - Day 136

Life Journey - Regret as Fear of Loss - Self Forgiveness - Part 1 - Overview - Day 137

Life Journey - Regret as Fear of Loss - Part 2 - Day 138

 

As well as:

This is a continuation to the Blog post:

The Self Diminishment Character - Day 94

They are Better than me, I'm so fucked up - Day 95

Taking responsibility for my creation - Day 96

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create an idea within and as my mind as how my process should be like already in terms of the amount of thoughts/reactions that I'm participating with and accordingly, when a thoughts comes up, I immediately react in judgement towards myself not seeing the opportunity that I have to stop, investigate and change.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for the regret that I've experienced through the stipulation of the environment that I'm currently in and within that, instead of facing the reaction as regret and walking through self correction, I've diminished myself through self judgement based on the idea that I shouldn't have experience regret within and as myself by now.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT realize that in every moment of every breath, I have an opportunity to change myself through changing my starting point of how would I assist and support myself to step out of my mind.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to unconditionally assist and support myself to step and walk out of my mind because if I had, I wouldn't allow myself to diminish myself through self judgement when and as a thought/reactions comes up and I immediately compare myself to an idea I've created about myself and whom should I be right now in my process, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that in that moment when the thought/reaction comes up, I have an window of opportunity to correct myself within and as breath through applying Physical Self Forgiveness and bring myself back here, to my physical reality, in breath.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that there is nothing WRONG with me when a thought/reactions comes up and so, instead of supporting myself through self introspection of what I have accepted and allowed myself to participate with, I've judge myself for having thoughts/reactions and in essence further separating myself from myself as I now see, realize and understand that every moment is a opportunity for change which means that instead of judging myself, I would Breathe, see the time line that led to the thought/reaction and accordingly support myself to stand in alignment with the thought/reaction and Change, in self honesty practical application as how I would see to be the best in that moment to assist and support myself.

 

I commit myself to Embrace, be humble and supportive for myself and in that, when and as I see myself accessing self judgement upon a reoccuring thoughts that came up within and as myself, I stop, I breath, and I investigate within and as myself the time line that had led to the thought to be manifested within and as myself because I see, realize and understand that the existence of this thought is to assist and support myself with seeing my acceptance and allowences and accordingly, take the responsibility to change.

 

I commit myself to stop hating and disrespecting who and what I have become as I was always the one who decide and within that, instead of fighting with myself, I embrace myself, support myself and caressing myself within this process of self change.

 

I Commit myself to Remind myself that in every moment of every breath a window of opportunity for self change is emerged and within that, I have the power to decide whether I would walk through this window, support myself and change or whether I would allow myself to time loop, close the window and wait till the next window would open up.

 

I commit myself to Remind myself and others as myself that when and as we accept and allow self judgement within and as ourselves, we in fact, accept and allow our own diminishment as we can in that moment, transform self judgement to self change and support ourselves to step out of the mind and delete the pattern/character that we have created, through investigating and seeing the time line which we have created the character into full participation and it's up to us to decide to stop, change and LIVE.

Life Journey - Regret as Fear of Loss - Part 2

This is a continuation to:

Sexual Journey - Regret as Fear of Loss - Day 136

Life Journey - Regret as Fear of Loss - Self Forgiveness - Part 1 - Overview - Day 137

 

As I was walking the Self Forgiveness yesterday and went back today to review my statements, I've noticed that the main point that I were accepting and allowing within and as myself was self judgement to control, enslave and take myself down into absolute self distrust, disrespect and in essence - Went into the Diminishment route.

 

When I looked at the Self Diminishment character, I've seen that this character is bases on Comparison which lead to Jealousy, competition and the polarity that would balance me between Jealousy as the 'down' and being spiteful to others as my 'high'. However, what I haven't covered in specificity is when the Comparison is bases on the Idea that I have about myself and what happen when my idea about myself isn't in alignment to my physical reality or where I am within my own process.

 

And so, yes, moments of regret had emerged which I've covered yesterday but what I haven't seen was how through regret, I judged myself to such an extent that I "lost" my own self respect to myself by judging myself for accepting and allowing thoughts of regret and accordingly, through the idea that I had in my mind of who and what I should already be in my process, I judged myself as I couldn't accept those thoughts and I haven't even seen my own struggling that indicated that the point wasn't a self realization point but rather energy fight that I've participated with myself so that I could justify the diminishment character within and as myself.

 

The point is that - There isn't right/wrong; the idea that I have in my mind about who and what I should be is an enslavement by itself because who I am isn't an idea that I must stand as; who I am is who I am in every moment of every breath and in absolute self trust, I would stand when I fall when participating with thoughts/backchat/feelings/emotions. I mean, I should be grateful for myself for seeing the backchat/reactions/thoughts in comparison to suppress and ignore and believe life is perfect and I'm perfect. If I wouldn't see the thoughts/backchat/reaction, that would be a problem. lol

 

So what I have I done? I totally diminished myself through self judgement for having thought of regret because I felt ashamed of myself. But instead, I'm here to assist and support myself to stand equal and one with what I've accepted and allowed as my mind and in that, not taking myself personally as I see, realize and understand how and why I've created those backchats/reactions/thoughts. So seriously, Enough - no more self judgement but rather seeing those moments of opportunity to change, Here, as and within breath.

 

Life Journey - Regret as Fear of Loss - Self Forgiveness - Part 1 - Overview - Day 137

This is a continuation to:

Sexual Journey - Regret as Fear of Loss - Day 136

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed within and as myself thoughts and backchats in the nature of Regret as Fear of Loss which indicate that my decision to walk in every moment of every breath according to that which is best for all wasn't in absolute self honesty and there are still layers/dimension that I must look at and in this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for having those thoughts/backchat within and as myself instead of embracing that which I'm showing myself through the thought/backchat and accordingly, assist and support myself with going deeper in my self investigating, to be able to change myself as my starting point in making sure that I'm walking in clarity and stability, in self honesty.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for experiencing Regret as Fear of Loss without seeing, realizing and understanding the years of programming, influences and brainwash that I was busy enforcing myself into and as and in this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to embrace myself as the process that I'm busy walking, acknowledging the space and time that I walk as the time line of each and every single program/system that I've created within and as myself and in essence - when and as a thought/back chat comes from within me, I have an opportunity to see that thought/backchat for what it is, see the trigger point, the activation point and the time line that led me to experience the thought/backchat and accordingly, support myself through Self Forgiveness and Self Commitment to Step out of the programming/systems that I've placed inside myself and to Breathe through it, bring myself HERE and simply LIVE as a physical expression, breath by breath.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience Regret as Fear of Loss when and as I hear/see that my past partners are already settled-in in the world system with a jobs, wife, kids and I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to automatically compare them to where I am within my life at this moment and projecting myself to the past and future, imagining how my life would have looked like if only I wouldn't make the decision that I made. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to - in that moment of comparison as future/past projection, to only look at one side of the polarity, as the external life that I might have had, without seeing within and as myself, my internal world and what I would have gone through if I would have allowed myself to continue suppressing and sabotaging myself, as I am now starting to see, realize and understand who and what I have become through years upon years of suppression and character creations and what my future would be like if I wouldn't make the decision to assist and support myself in getting to know myself as the mind and accordingly, rebirth myself as a physical living human being.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience Regret as Fear of Loss when and as I see my life in comparison to the Life that I might have had with my ex partners and within that, assuming that my life would have been much easier if I would stay in those relationships however, I now see, realize and understand that when and as I project the words: "Easier Life" it is only from the perspective of having Money and thus, I see, realize and understand that I must stand for that which is best for all and make sure that all would have an "easy life" in terms of stopping all experiences of survival so that everyone would have the opportunity to in fact Live a Life that is worth while instead of only a few in this world that were Lucky enough to have some money in their hands to support them in fulfilling their desires on the expenses of the Majority of this world.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to attempt to elevate myself through justifying why I have decided to walk the path that I'm currently walking and why I shouldn't have the Life that was prepared for me by my parents and I forgive myself that I haven't seen, realized and understood that my need to justify my decision, reveal that I'm not absolutely walking unconditionally the path that I'm walking and that in essence, my directive principle is still Regret as the Fear of Loss, because I fear that if I won't walk the path I'm currently walking, I would live a life of real regret, and I would lose myself and the support that I'm receiving from my fellow Destonians. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to walk my process and the path that I have chosen to walk, based on fear  that I may regret not walking my process once I died when I would realize that I had the chance to walk in the physical and yet, I haven't and within this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that my process isn't absolutely unconditionally walked in every moment of every breath by me as the living principle of myself and my world and now that I'm seeing this point very clearly, I Commit myself to change the starting point and bring the decision back to myself, walking this process for and as myself because I see, realize and understand that accepting and allowing myself to walk my automated characters/personalities/reactions etc. is not a life that I would want for myself and I commit myself to STAND as the Directive Principle in every moment of every breath through continuing assisting and supporting myself in writing, self forgiveness, self corrective application, sharing myself with others from the starting point of having cross reference to minimize the time loops that I may walk as well as supporting others through my writings to minimize their time loops so that eventually, together, we could stand and recreate a world that is best for all, internally and externally.