Dec 18, 2015 | By: A Woman

Do I have the right to judge myself - Living in fear of being judged by others - Day 534

For context, please read:

Continuing to explore the consequences of not being honest with ourselves and thus accepting and allowing self-judgement to exists inside of ourselves, mostly projected through the eyes of others. In today post, we'll have a look at another potential consequence of participating with self-judgement projected as living in fear of being judged by others.

Fearing of being judged may starts in a very young age where you feel that you need to hide or do things in secrets because other people may have issues with what you do and you didn't have the courage to speak up and open this point in communication. It is mostly as a teen when the parents are trying to protect the child from the dangerous of the world, not understanding that the children will go and rebel and do exactly what the parents are trying to control. I personally went against the feeling of being judged by doing things in secret and only shared with those who I knew to not have any issues with it.

Living with the fear of being judged creates the experience of being controlled and although you will go and do the things you want to do, you will always feel you need to do these things in secret and that in itself compromises the integrity of your relationships with others.  The feeling of being controlled is due to the fact that you project your own judgement (with regards to the things you do in secrets) to the people in your environment, believing that if they would know what you do in secret, they will either look down at you or reject you in one way or another.

The consequence outflow here is that you will always blame and judge other people for allegedly judging you; and you may feel that you need to get away, to run away because your environment is closing down on you; you will feel trapped in your own environment and you'll have a growing force to leave all together and try making it in a new environment. 

All along it is you, living in fear in your mind, not willing to be honest with yourself in what you stand for and who you are to a point of respecting yourself enough to be able to communicate about it with others. Once you reach a point of self-honesty, you won't live in secret anymore because you'll stand very clear in who you are regardless of what anyone can potentially think of you.

So, if you want to develop relationship of worth with people, it is of utmost importance you become honest with yourself and stop judging your own self-honesty. The integrity with people you have relationship cannot be compromised by secrets and hidden information/expression because of fears that may only exists in your own mind.

The first step in assisting and supporting yourself to reach a point of self honesty as well as stopping participating with self-judgement is to apply this: when you think another is judging you, ask yourself: "Am I clear within this point or is it me that is judging myself through the eyes of the person who is in front of me?" This is to identify whether you are dealing with self-judgement or not.
The second step is to identify the source of your self-judgement and in the case you need additional support with that, you can always leave me a message or join the self-mastery free online course by clicking HERE. You can also visit a very cool free support forum


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