Jun 16, 2013 | By: A Woman

Why children do not respects Parents? - Day 389

This is a continuation of the previous blog: Why did we stop questioning our reality? (Part 1) - Day 387 and

Why did we stop questioning our reality? (Part 2) - Day 388. For the full context of this blog, I suggest reading through these blogs for context.


In the previous blog I ended of with the following quote:

So - why did this memory came up. when I was looking at the memory and asked myself why this memory came up, a word flashed in my mind: "Respect". I realized that my relationship with my grandfather was of respect and integrity because he always took the time to explain to me a point when I asked: "Why". And as I go through my data base of information as I write here, I see more and more events when I asked him a question and he answered me while others did not. I also remember that when my grandmother for instance said: "No, because I said so", he expanded on the point and explained me the reason behind the answer: "No".


How can a parent expect their child to respect them if the parent do not stand within the principle of give as you would like to receive and within that context - treat with respect and you will be respected. If one do not respect the child in taking the time to walk them through the time line of understanding, and especially when  the child ask "why", one's action indicate that one do not respect one's child but rather acting as a dictator in controlling and forcing the child to absolute submission and suppression by using one's parental authority.


So now the child understands the meaning of the words: "No, because I said so" and the child will slowly but surely start to disrespect and distrust the parent because a relationship of integrity was never established. The child by now already realize that there is no common sense in the words: "No, because I said so" and the child already realize that there is no use to try and ask for clarification because there isn't much chance that the parent will suddenly change their contaminated habit and start explaining the reasoning behind the decision that had led them to speak the words: "No, because I said so". This is when the Rebelling stage comes in play.


With the child desire to walk a specific path and the parent saying "No", the child did not associated the path they wanted to go with the word: "NO" but they have associated the word "No" with their parents and therefore, from the child perspective, all they have to do is to remove the parent from the equation and the path is clear to go. Now they will walk the path behind the parents back. Do you know anyone who didn't do what ever they wanted behind the parents' back? Do you think that your parents did not do the same - did what ever they wanted behind their parents' back?


But later on, consequences will come to the child's doorstep so to speak and at the end of the day, they will have to tell the parents what they have done which by then, in many cases, it is too late and one can no longer prevent the consequences but face them.


Now, all of that is not understood by the parents in this world despite of the fact that we, when we were children, disrespected our parents, did things behind their back, told them about it only when it was already too late and consequences emerged and yet - once we become parents, a funny thing happen - we forget that we were children, we forget that we didn't trust our parents and we repeat the same mistakes our parents did with us even though we swear so many times that we will never be like our parents. But the fact of the matter is that there is only one thing we never did as adults - question our reality in terms of looking at how is it possible that despite of our agreement with ourselves to not treat our children as our parents treated us, we still repeat and walk our parents' foot steps. Bizarre.


More to come in the next blog


Joy Jacob said...

Respect, like any other, will be returned with interest. Learn to give and the reward will come.

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