This is a continuation to:
Walking Breath by Breath - Part 1 - Day 160
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to place my trust in my mind, in my memories, in my beliefs, in my opinions, in my morality structure and in this, completely gave away my power to walk breath by breath, finding out whether it is possible to live a fulfilment life that is best for all without using the mind as the memory structure that I became to be and exists as. And in this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear stopping my mind and finding out for myself whether or not, one requires memories as knowledge and information to sustain a substantial Life and through not giving myself to permission to test this point for myself, I've accepted and allowed my own limitation, my own anaesthesia within and as the imprisonment that I've set for myself - the very same jail that I've accepted and allowed to direct myself and this world, without ever questioning its authenticity, its nature, its foundations.
I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to make the definitive decision to accept and allow myself to walk breath by breath and within this, to essentially give up before I even started my process of stepping out of my mind, so that I could see for myself who I am when the mind stops.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to look and seek for a quick fix to stop my mind because I've believed that I would be some magical human being that is able to do the impossible and within that starting point, I've separated myself from really be self honest with myself and walk the time/space path, breath by breath, to see for myself, who I am when the mind stops, without having any idea or perceptions about it, with no desires attach to the common sense practical application of really looking and investigating myself and my relationship with myself, when the mind is not longer my accepted and allowed directive principle.
I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to walk breath by breath, stopping each and every single thought that comes up because the thoughts gave me the security that I came to believe to be necessary to sustain my life and thus survive. In this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to ever question the nature of the thoughts, where thoughts comes from, why do I have these thoughts, what trigger the thoughts; and within NOT accepting and allowing myself to question my relationship with the thoughts, I've accepted and allowed myself to live in automation and thus, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to place value and trust in my thoughts as if the thoughts are GOD and I must listen, obey and follow the thoughts, not seeing, realizing and understanding the religion of SELF that I've blindly establish within and as myself.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to desire others to tell me what is that I'm experiencing and in that, basically giving up on myself, within realizing my capability and ability to see for myself, in self honesty, the point that I'm facing. In that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself when and as I do not clearly see the entire point that I'm facing, without giving myself a moment, to breathe, to become the point so absolutely, in equality, and through the physical equality and oneness, giving me the permission to see myself, to see the picture, to see who I am, in breath. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to see the point in its entirety from a starting point of a desire, as knowledge and information, because I've defined this seeing as MORE, as something that is special instead of establishing equal and one starting point with myself - to assist and support myself to simply see, as this is what is here, as my living presentation that is determine my decisions, my expression the who I am in every moment and through this seeing, taking responsibility and change myself, breath by breath.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must understand the point in all its dimensions to release myself form the ties of my mind and I haven't seen ,realized and understood, that in that moment, when I accepted and allowed the belief that in order to change, I must understand, I've sabotage myself in not giving myself the permission to simply BREATHE and stand HERE and release the energy holder that I've used to further separate myself.
I commit myself to TEST for myself Life where the mind as the memory structure that I've accumulated throughout my life, as the directive principle that I've accepted and allowed to direct and decide for me, STOPS, so that I could see for myself Who I am when the mind stops, Who I am as the directive principle in every moment of every breath. And so, through testing the point for myself and utilizing the tools to assist and support myself with stopping my mind such as self forgiveness, breathing, self honesty and self corrective application, I Stop, check, assess and evaluate for myself, who I am without a mind and through this, I would see, for myself as a point of cross reference without having to base any belief on other people's experiences.
I commit myself to STOP looking for a quick fix, for a miracle path that will end my negative experiences as I see, realize and understand that this desire in itself is based on a polarity charge that I would accumulate slowly but surely until the energy would eventually discharge itself, and so, I would use another source of energy to recharge the experience until again, the energy would discharged and the cycle continue. I now see, realize and understand that within walking breath by breath, one do not require any energy to move self but it is self that is here, moving and directing self and within this common self realization - I commit myself to assist and support myself in any given moment, to move myself as breath, discharge the energy when and as it comes up, for as long as it takes, for as many times that it takes because I see, realize and understand that when walking breath by breath and stopping the endless journey of finding energy to charge myself with, stopping my existence as energy and start living within and as the physical.
I commit myself to assist and support myself with educating myself regarding the Quantum Mind in understanding the organic machine that I've accepted and allowed myself to be and become. In this, I commit myself to Question myself, to challenge my beliefs, ideas, perceptions, judgements etc. through seeing the relationships that I've formed with these mind components so that I could finally get to know myself, what trigger my personalities/characters that I've accepted and allowed myself to become equal to; what makes me decide what I normally decide; and through getting to know myself, as the entire programming of myself, change is possible as I stand as self movement, as breath, as the one who decide.
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