My Relationship with my Dog - Self Forgiveness - Day 254

 

Continuing with investigating my Relationship with Yalda, the dog I used to have before I moved to the Farm.

This is a continuation to my Previous blog: My Relationship with My Dog Continue - Day 253 where I shared the Time Line of my Relationship with Yalda after walking the previous write-ups: My Dog as my Comfort Zone - Day 251 and Pets as a reflection of Self Intimacy - Day 252 which was also a direct continuation to the Series:  'How to Cope with the Death of a Pet'.

 

I would also suggest to listen to the Interviews: Pets and Owners Relationship Review to have a better understanding of the relationship connection between Human Beings and Dogs.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to in Self Honesty look at my starting point of having a dog and within that, ignored and further suppressed the Emotions I had accepted and allowed myself to experience within and as me. In this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that my decision of having a dog was a reaction to the emotions and feelings I experienced inside myself, which means that it was a matter of time until my Physical reality would knock on my door and force me to face the things I was so busy suppressing and ignoring, which in this, I only prolong my process within a time-loop that I could have prevented if I would have taken the responsibility to investigate, explore and sort out that which I've suppressed within and as me.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to suppressed, ignore and deny the Negative experience that I've created within and as myself through having a dog and develop a relationship with her so that I won't have to 'Feel' alone. Within this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to Investigate the Nature of the Negative Experiences of and as Aloneness within the Self Realization that in common sense, one is never alone within and as this physical reality and it is only through One's Mind-Interpretation of Aloneness, within and as Emotional Negative Charge that one had Separated oneself from all that is here, into and as an Isolated Version of oneself, within and as One's mind.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to Accept myself as Who I am and thus, I had Believed that I required External Forces to Validate me and so, through the Presence of a Dog, I could Respect, Accept and Care for myself, not seeing, realizing and understanding that Who I am as an Expression of Respect, Acceptance and Care is not dependent on anything or anyone but myself, as a decision that I make within and as myself. Thus, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to Learn by the Example I've set forth for myself, of who and what I am, when and as I was in the presence of my Dog - An expression of myself, of who I am under all the Layers of the Mind, Without any protection mechanism, absolute vulnerability and Self Intimacy and thus, When and as I remove these layers of the mind and accept myself as Who I am as Life, I will Find myself - that which I was always looking for but couldn't find because I've separated myself to the extent of which I couldn't even grasp that - that which I was always looking for, was myself.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that What I miss with regards to my Dog's presence is Who I have been as an expression of myself, as how I've experienced myself when I was with her, when I didn't have to become a specific character to align myself with my environment and I could have been simply Me, as an Expression of myself, without worrying about being judged, mocked, harmed or Compromised. In this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realized that I've CONditioned myself to my environment and gave Value to what other may say or think about me instead of accepting and allowing myself to simply be the expression of myself, as who I am in every given moment.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that what I have perceived and projected as Intimacy with my Dog, was in fact a level of intimacy that I've had with myself which was lost when I gave away my Dog. In that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to React to my Dog not being with me any longer instead of investigating my relationship with her - who I am within the relationship, How did I experienced myself, Why and How have I separated myself within my relationship with my dog and according to what I've seen through self investigation, I change, correct and align myself within the Principle of Investigate all points and keep that which is good.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to Give myself Unconditional Love, Respect and Worth and have accepted and allowed myself to instead project these components onto my Dog, believing that she gave me Love, Respect and Worth and thus reacted when I believed that I no longer have it instead of realizing that I can stand in alignment to Self Love, Self Respect and Self Worth, as an Expression of myself, in any given moment.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to seek for Love, Respect and Worth from my external reality, in separation of myself, not Seeing, realizing and understanding that I've separated myself from such expressions, within the belief that only someone else, in separation of myself, can give me Love, Respect and Worth. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to Desire being Loved, Respected and Cared for while Expecting to find someone or something that would give  me the Love, the Respect and Worth instead of me First Establish Self Love, Self Respect and Self Worth that is not Defined by anything or anyone; that is Not Conditioned to having a partner or a pet, but simply an expression of myself that would be measured by the Decisions that I make in every breath. Thus, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to Project Love, Respect and Worth onto another and in doing so, never considered to Develop and Establish Self Love, Self Respect and Self Worth, as Who I am, as an Expression of myself that can be proven and validated by the Decisions that I make within what I will accept and allow to myself and what I will not.

 

I Commit myself to Show that Attaching and Associating Energetic Charge to our Pets and/or Partners, either Positive or Negative, indicates a point within and as ourselves that we haven't yet sorted out, through which, we suppress, ignore and deny our responsibility in sorting ourselves out by Projecting these Energy Experiences with onto our pets and/or Partners.

 

I Commit myself to Let Go of the Energetic Mind Components that I've associated, defined and attached to my relationship to my Dog and accordingly, keep on investigating the things she was busy showing me about myself, that I wasn't willing to see and take responsibility for.

 

I Commit myself to Develop, Establish and Stand as an Expression of Self Love, Self Respect and Self Worth that would be Measurable within the Decisions that I make within that which I accept and allow myself and that which I won't.

 

I Commit myself to - When and as I see myself accessing Inner Emotional Turmoil regarding my dog, to first make the decision to Stop, to take a Breath and See in self honesty what is the Nature of the Reaction and Who I am within this reaction. In this, I commit myself to assist and support myself to see where, how and why I have separated myself from the Physical through/by Energy acceptance and allowances and accordingly, I take Self Responsibility, Apply Self Forgiveness with Specific Practical Commitment which within that, I transform my application from Mind to a Physical Living.

 

I Commit myself to - When and as I see myself projecting Experiences on other beings in my world and my environment, to turn the point back to myself and to investigate where, why and how I've separated myself from such experiences, where, why and how I've defined myself as Lacking in relation to such Experiences.