A Woman's Journey to Life: This relationship is BORING - Self Forgiveness

This is a continuation to:

My Partner is Boring - Let's breakup - Day 129

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how I've created within and as my mind, the idea, perception, belief and opinion of how my relationship should be like, according to what I've observed within my environment and accordingly made the decision of what I LIKE and what I DISLIKE my relationship to be like.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand and investigate WHO I am as a relationship, WHY I am within a relationship and WHAT is a relationship to me and accordingly, create, develop and establish a supportive relationship (Agreement) that is bases on PRINCIPLE of What is Best for all as I see and Realize that what is best for ALL start with me as what is best for me; thus, I see and realize that for an effective agreement, I must first structure for myself HOW will I support myself within my relationships within my process of stepping out of my mind to be able to stand, Breath by Breath according to that which is best for all as a physical Living Expression that in time would be the Example for many to walk their process to bring about a world that is in fact best for all.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want and desire DRAMA in my life because I've defined LIFE without Drama as boring and accordingly, I've created and manifested for myself LIFE full with Drama as a negative experiences because I've not realized the principle of " Be careful of what you wish for" from the perspective that - the Drama that I've desired for was a created within and as my illusionary mind domain with no foundation within and as the physical reality and so - the drama that I've seek for was Energy rush that I had to manifest within and as myself to keep stimulate and activate my illusionary reality in my mind.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed to judge a prospect partner according to components that I've created in my mind and accordingly, made the decision whether or not this person has a chance to fulfil my desires. However, what I've NOT consider within my desire to fulfil my desires was the practical physical aspect of establishing, forming and developing an effective relationship/agreement with the being that is based on principles that we have both stand for and as, within and as ourselves.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to give value to the Drama that I desired to have within and as my LIFE, not seeing, realizing and understanding my starting point within the establishment and the creation of the fantasies/illusions wherein, the point that I desired for was to keep my enslavement within and as my mind through energy that I must attain to keep me going and within that, bind myself to never discover who I am as a physical living being and accordingly, supported myself to step out of my mind and establish a supportive agreement with MYSELF and my partner, equal and one so that together, we could individually and together would bring about a world that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear having a boring relationship within the definition that I've gave to relationship as what I've seen at home and thus, had made the decision to never have the same type of relationship my parents has which led me to self abuse/sabotage cycle of being that I was not aligned with as I've tried with them to live the illusionary/fantasy relationship that I've created in my mind through the Dislike and Like that I've formed within and as myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to define my relationship as boring according to my future projections that were not aligned with what was 'here' and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that the relationships that I had, I created; and as the creator of those relationships, I could recreate the relationship from a new and fresh starting point where I communicate the points with my partner and we come to a mutual agreement within ourselves and each other were we agree on what we will accept and what we will not and together, come up with an agreement that is best for both and as such, best for all.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize and understand the effectiveness of Physical Communication where I share with my partner that which is in my secret mind so that my partner can support me to see what I've accepted and allowed within myself; Obviously, it would be up to me to either make a decision that is best for all in self honesty or not but what is certain is that making decisions before I lay out in writing all the points that I've accepted and allowed in my mind and correct myself within and as myself, is not acceptable; I now see, realize and understand that acting on my mind without writing the point out and instead, going to the quick way, as the quick fix, as breaking up, would not solve the problem but I would instead, recreate the same point with a new partner and would remain forever enslaved to my own mind.

Also, I suggest listening to:

What is Sex - Who am I as Sex - Part 30

What is Sex - Why am I as Sex - Part 31

For more context, please read -

Sexual Expression – Overview Day 112

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Forgiveness Part 1 - Day 113

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Commitments - Part 1 - Day 114

Investigating Sexual Expression - Part 2 - Day 121

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Forgiveness - Part 2 - Day 122

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Commitments - Part 2 - Day 123

Spilling semen in vain - Day 115

Spilling semen in vain - Self Forgiveness - Day 116