Dec 7, 2015 | By: A Woman

Do I have the right to Judge myself? Potential consequences #1 - Day 532

Do I have the right to Judge myself?
In my previous blog, I asked the question: "Do you have the right to judge another" but the real question that I had to ask was "Do you have the right to judge yourself?" because on a practical level, you can only judge another when you are still accepting and allowing your own participation with self-judgement.

Looking at my own process as well as the process of others, the root cause of all judgement starts with self-judgement.
Within this blog post I would like to start opening up the awareness of the potential consequences that accepting and allowing self-judgement to exists inside of ourselves may cause:

Potential consequences #1: Self-Judgement can sabotage/compromise and even end your relationships with others.

Hidden and suppressed self-judgement can sabotage and compromise your relationship with your environment. How?
Have a look - How many times in your life, you felt that your closest people to you, the people that supposed to stand as your pillar of support, the people who love you the most, are judging you. Judge you as too fat/thin; stupid; untrustworthy; introverted/extraverted; and so on and so forth. But let me ask you - was it them who judged you or was it you, in your mind, projecting your own self-judgement onto them? With believing they are judging you in every interaction you have with them, you are keeping enough space in between, you keep your relationship with them in an arm's length - Not getting close enough or going too far away. You never absolutely commit and allow yourself to be you. You will always behave and act out in a way that will cause the least possible judgement that you could possibly think of.

With the belief everyone is judging you, you start being paranoid with everything and everyone - when you see two of your friends talking, you immediately think it is about you isn't it? Because you are always wrong, you are always been looked down at, you are always being laughed and gossiped at.. And so, you start believing everyone is against you and you eventually isolate yourself, to minimize your interaction with people, believing it will minimize the judgement that is placed on you while all along, it was you who have been judging yourself this all time.

But! You didn't see your own self-judgement and you had to make yourself right to believe that everyone are against you.. How else will you suppress your own self-judgement? You'll make yourself right and others as wrong. Isn't it so?
And all this time you believed that others are wrong and can't be trusted because they are judging you and gossiping about you.. All this time, you missed the very crucial point - you were the one judging you.

With this mind set, you cannot develop and create supportive and effective long lasting relationships with people; In many times, you will not sustain the relationship, you'll run away and start another relationship with people until the inevitable happens.. You'll compromise and sabotage the nature of the relationship with you believing they are judging you and looking down at you while it was and is you who are doing it to yourself.

Will continue in my next blog with more potential outcomes when accepting and allowing self-judgement to be hidden but very much existed inside of ourselves. We will also look at solutions in how to change this type of behavior/pattern to be able to practically develop long lasting relationships of worth with others.


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