Parenting Support - a point to consider - Day 398

 

I've noticed that many parents tend to teach unconsciously their babies to blame others instead of taking self responsibility and here is an example that I've seen many times before -

When the baby for instance start standing up and then start walking, they tend to fall a lot. It's a natural part of their process of learning how to walk.

Sometime the fall is soft and they laugh about it and sometimes they get hurt for a moment and start crying.

The tendency of the parents is to blame the object that the child was holding for balance or the object they fell on so if for instance, the baby stood up and balanced themselves on the wall and suddenly, they lost balance and fell on a Lego cube that was on the floor; The Natural reaction of the parent is to take the Lego cube and hit it and even go further and say, "shame on you Lego Cube, why did you hurt Johnny?".

Here the parents are showing to the baby 2 things:

1. It is ok to hit others = It is ok to be abusive towards others.

2. That blaming instead of taking responsibility is valid.

Have you considered that? Have you realized that you are teaching your child to be ineffective human being that is abusive towards others and cannot be trust worthy due to not being able to take self responsibility but to instead, developing the instinct of immediately blame others?

 

So Parents, realize that the fall is in most cases not so bad and if anything, the child is crying because you have reacted and within that, what you haven't realized is that in that moment of reaction, you force the child to connect a fall with the act of crying, with the experience of negativity and fear as your reactions derive from Fears.

A tip that I received from a mother is to simply distract them from the fall and not react to it at all.

If the child is persisting in crying - don't panic, breathe and teach the child to take the pain out of their body and return in to earth. Here, they are taking self responsibility, supporting themselves with removing their pain and then let them walk the same point again so that they will not connect falling to something negative which will prolong their process of learning how to walk. Let them learn and develop their Natural Learning Ability while you direct, support and do not React.