Jul 19, 2012 | By: A Woman

The Chameleon Character in my Movie as my Life - Day 97

camo-1-600x594A few days ago, within the Earth's Journey to Life blogs, the Chameleon Character was explained which opened up many points within and as myself.

While reading the blog and discussing the point with other being in my environment, I've seen, realized and understood HOW I am the Chameleon Character within and as the Movie that I've created as my life.
I saw pictures as memories of the moments that I've changed my colours/characters to protect myself, to protect the view that others have about me and within that, willing to diminish and compromise myself so that I won't dare to question and challenge my environment because I FEARed to be outcaste, I feared being a disappointment to others, I feared being angry at, I feared ending up alone and behind that all - feared conflicts that may emerge when and as I stand as who I am, without all the characters that I've carried with and as me, the characters that I was defined as by myself and others.

What is fascinating that within the Chameleon Character that I have become, I've lost myself, lost self expression as who I am in every given moment because who I am in every given moment is conditioned to my environment and how I see to be the best to act/play to maintain a perceived stability, harmony and peace even though within and as me, I KNEW that I'm playing, I knew that I'm the one who decide to act and yet, I've accepted and allowed myself to keep the play within my Movie because I feared facing the consequences that may lead to frictions/fights with my environment.

Wherein now, to stop the Chameleon Character, is quite a time line to walk as I've layered all my characters and suppressed some of the characters, hide them from myself so that I could automated my play where I am no longer 'thinking' of how to act/play, I'm already on auto pilot - a walking organic robot that act/play according to a specific script that I've written for myself throughout my life as stored memories that I can automatically choose from in any given moment and accordingly play the role I see to be the best.

However, I see, realize and understand my own creation of my Chameleon Character, I see, realize and understand that it was always my decision to make and as the decision making of the Movie I choose to play, I have a say as no one is pulling a gun onto my head and force me to continue the script that I've written for myself. I am the one who Decide. And I'm the one who Decide to STOP, to get back to myself, as who I am as LIFE that is here, in every moment of every breath and it is me who Decide to assist and support myself to take out all the layers/dimension of my mind, and walk myself into purity wherein memories are no longer my directive principle and it is me, as what is best for all, direct, move and express myself, Here, as Life.

Within the blogs to come,  I will take a part the various derivative of the Chameleon Character to be able to stop the automated script within specific scenarios, to clear and delete the associated/connected memories to assist and support myself to face the physical reality as WHO I AM, as breath, as Life, to Physically correct myself and Prove to myself that I've changed in fact.


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