Continuing
with the previous blog where I discussed my relationship to overhearing someone
talking about me and what revealed during the process of investigating this
points inside of myself. As well as the solutions and practical support I've
been practicing in real time moments. For context, please read: That moment when you hear people talking about you
(Part 1) - Day 538 and That moment when you hear people talking about you
(Part 2) - Day 539
In this
blog post I will talk about the importance of stopping the reactions towards
another person talking about you and how to take the 'negative' experience and
transform it to a life lesson from which you can empower yourself from.
Let's go
to the basics for a moment. To the root cause of why we are so afraid of one
another; why it is so easy to break someone's trust; Why we fear being
vulnerable with each other; why we react to judgement so much.
Here, I
ask you all to move yourself for just a moment, to a point of self-honesty when
answering the following questions:
Is it
because of us knowing how deep the rabbit hole goes? Meaning, seeing the extent
of our own mind and how nasty we can be when no one is hearing/watching our
thoughts? And because we know how Negative and judgemental we can be in our
mind, we assume that other people's mind is exactly the same. Isn't that so?
So yes,
sometimes our nasty thoughts are coming into the open in a form of gossiping
about someone with another. And Yes, it is not valid.. These thoughts need to
be removed by each one of us taking personal responsibility for our own mind.
But we are not yet there as it is a process that needs to be walked by each one
of us individually.
What took
me so long to realize was that when someone gossip about you, it is another in
their mind that is speaking.. It is not the deep real being that is so
suppressed underneath the layers of their mind. Meaning, it is not personal
towards you, it is just the mind being exposed to the extent of its automated
programming that they need to step out from with awareness. But the question is
- how to create that awareness? Can they be aware if you are reacting to them
instead of supporting them to be aware of that one singular point they have
exposed themselves to?
As long
as we react to the words spoken in that moment, we are not just compromising
our relationship with others, we also compromise the other's personal growth,
and the chance that they have to change in that real time moment when we stand
up and show them what they have accepted and allowed, in giving their mind
absolute control over their physical reality.
It
is time we move ourselves from reaction to solutions.. To walk out of the
reaction and to stand up as the solution. I know it is easy said than done but
we have to start practicing this skill. Like with any skill, mistakes are going
to be made and we are going to stumble until we find our feet within it all but
eventually we would; I am ready to start. Are you?
--
Art: Gossiping by Itzchak Tarkay
