Locking yourself in your mind through Expectations Part 2 - Day 524

As explained in the previous  blog post, expectations are coming from our memory data base. Each memory can either contains a negative (example: fear), a positive (for instance: excitement) or a neutral experience.

For instance, we can expect that the baby who is with us in the kitchen, will want to explore everything that we do in the kitchen and therefore, they would reach their hands towards the oven's door.

In this scenario, our expectations would either carry a negative reaction such as fear that the baby will get burned by the oven's heat; or we would be neutral to the experience and we trust ourselves that we would calmly direct the situation to the best possible outcome as explained in the previous blog.

We want to get ourselves to a point of neutrality where our past memories do not shape, hold power and create our present and future moments. Where we can look with common sense at any given situation and decide which/what direction to take, that would bring the best possible outcome to whomever is involved as.

Where and how to start -

Step 1:

Look at your day and identify 3-5 moments where you had an expectation that something NEGATIVE would happened.

Look at your day and identify 3-5 moments where you had an expectation that something POSITIVE would happened.

(Note - At this step, all you need to do is write down a list of the Negative and Positive expectations)

Step 2:

Take 1 Negative expectation and 1 Positive expectation from your list that you wrote down in step 1 and identify the memory that is associated with your positive/negative expectation.

For example, say that you identified in step 1 that at one point during your day, you expected your baby to touch the oven's door and you reacted in fear to the situation.

In step 2, you will investigate the memory that is associated with the expectation above:

"When I was 3 years old, I was with my mother in the kitchen while she was cooking and I wanted to see what she is doing with the tray in the oven; so I opened the oven's door to take out the tray and check out what is inside BUT, the tray was super hot and I got 2 degree burn. My mother started shouting and fricking out; I remember how painful it was and I have a scar till this day… So now, every time I see a little child/baby by the oven, this memory comes up of how my mother rushed me in the hospital.

This step is to support you with identifying how a past memory that is contaminated with negative emotion is locking you in your mind because whenever you see a child nearby an oven, you are kind of fricking out and expecting the child to do what you did as a child.

Step 3:

Preparing for a real time correction - Take your writing from step 2 and see how you can prepare yourself for the next moment you see a child by the oven.

For example, write down a corrective statement - Every time I see a child nearby an oven, I firstly take a breath.

"I remind myself that holding onto my own past memory is like locking myself in my own mind where I am unable to assess my direct environment and decide on the best approach at any given moment.

In fact, as long as I react in fear to the situation, I most likely create that which I fear and the child will get hurt. Why, because I am not standing as a support structure for this baby where I take them through the time lines of potential consequences and provide them with possible solution. And thus, Instead of standing as a point of guidance for the child, I am reacting in fear and the child is not educated on WHY they must not touch the hot surface without protection devices/tools like for instance, silicon gloves.

This is why, I commit myself to, in the best of my ability, discuss the point with the child and share with them the consequences of touching hot surface without designated tools to protect the hands/body from the heat. "

So here are a few steps to help you identifying your negative/positive reactions to past memories that are controlling your day to day reality as you expect the memories to manifest again. Once Identified, you can start structuring your correction to get yourself to neutrality in these specific situations.

Together we are not Alone–Day 512

 

 

The night before last was an immensely cold night and even though I had the heater on and a nice thick duvet, the cold got into my bones and my body was shaking from the inside, trying to get itself warm. When my body started shaking from the cold, I couldn't stop thinking about those people, just here down the road, who sleep with no heater on, no nice thick duvet or cement walls to isolate the rooms from the cold.

 

I started looking that night at how the hell can I personally support these people - obviously, I don't have the budget to buy all the people in this world an heater or a nice thick duvet or build decent housing; and even if I do have that money, how are they going to pay for the electricity for the purpose of turning the heater on for example? And I mean, having a heater is just one small thing - these people and so many more are facing a moment to moment survival in a world of abundance which to me is not acceptable way of living is it?

 

Honestly I felt sad - it is clear by now that on my individual capacity, I cannot make sure that all people in this world has decent and worthy housing, electricity, food, transport, education and so forth. It is clear that 10 people cannot make sure that all people in this world has a decent and dignified life as how we would all want for ourselves. It is clear that 100 people cannot help everyone on this world to have access to their basic human rights. It is clear that 1,000 people cannot make sure that this world will take a turn in implementing the necessary change that is required to maintain and sustain a life that is worthy of living. But, don't you think that 1,000,000 people that are coming together can be so powerful source in making sure what needs to be done is done? And how about 1,000,000,000 people standing together as a powerful unity?

 

What worth does it have if we all stand alone, wishing for a change or wishing that suffering will end one day if we don't practically do something about it - TOGETHER?

 

There are so many people in this world who would want to do something but in some way or another, most of us feel that we don't know what or how to practically do it. This is because we each try to invent the wheel while there is no real need to invent a new wheel as everything is already here and ready to be changed in the way that is best for all. All that is really needed is our understanding that together we are NOT alone in this vision and mission of creating a dignified life for all people and animals and when we pull our resources together, all our individual skills, our individual power, we will become one unified force that has the power to demand and implement a change in this world.

 

So this is a call for myself and others - to come together with our individual skills, forces and powers and to together implement encompassing solutions on all levels of life within the vision and mission of creating a life that is of worth for every creature on this planet.

 

Would like to take this floor to share the following:

The Equal Life Foundation – Bill of Rights

The Living Income Guaranteed Proposal

Fundamental Human Rights by Equal Life Foundation

Fear of Ending up Alone

 Day 1

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed my starting point of making decisions to be based on competition and jealousy instead of common sense decisions which I require to take the following points into consideration: where I am in my process, where is my potential partner in his process, whether it is practical in terms of living conditions, whether it is practical in terms of future plans of myself within the group and the existential process.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed the fear of ending up alone without a partner to influence my decision to get into agreement/relationship and within that, compromise myself through being in agreement when I’ve not yet aligned myself to myself where I can stand in stability with no matter whom I am with and the consequences thereof will be slowing me and my process down.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed the fear of ending up alone to develop into desire to be in relationship and thus, I’ve accepted and allowed myself to make decisions according to this one single point of fear of being alone, to enslave, control and direct me and in that, I’ve abdicated the responsibility to face the fear of ending up alone through participating in energy as desire to be in relationship in my mind instead of be and become the directive principle of myself and my world and practically and physically face that which I’ve become in separation of me.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed the fear of ending up alone to be my starting point of my decision to engage with potential partner and in that, I’ve accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from myself through instead of facing and walking through the fear, I’ve went into my mind as the desire to be in a relationship, not even willing to admit to myself that fear is what I have become and what I’ve existed as.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed the belief that I must be in a relationship with a partner so that I won’t end up alone for the rest of my life to influence, enslave and control me and thus as the time pass by, I’ve build up stress within me through thinking “I must be in a relationship already”, “I’m 31 and I still don’t have a partner”, “I must have a partner as soon as possible”.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed building up pressure and stress within me in relation to not having  a relationship/agreement yet because of the fear of ending up alone and thus, I’ve accepted and allowed myself to compromise for a partner that will fill the spot, not considering or willing to see how I’ve compromised myself within those decisions wherein I’m making a decision based on my fears instead of making decisions that are based on common sense and practical physical alignment that will support me in my process.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed the decisions with regards to agreement/relationships to be based on what will support me the best in my process and instead, I’ve settled for everything that came by so that there would be no chance of me ending up alone.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to occupy my mind within the desire of being in a relationship/agreement, to not face the core/source point of the fear to end up alone.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that through the fear of ending up alone, I allow myself to manipulate men in my life into being in relationship/agreement with me when and as I feel threatened that another woman will “win” the guy as well as regret that i would later on feel through thinking that I could do something to get what I want but I didn’t. Within that, I forgive myself that I have NOT seen that the jealousy which I experienced towards the woman was generated as a defence mechanism that I’ve activated through believing that the woman is compromising my chances to get the object/man that I require to hide behind my fear of ending up alone.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to make decisions based on my perception of losing time before I end up being alone without considering the real physical reality as well as what would be practically support me and my world in my process.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that through fear of ending up alone, I miss the answer that was always here – me. I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe and perceive that I can end up alone, in separation of me and all that exists in this existence and within that, I’ve limited myself to such an extent wherein, I’ve continuously and consistently only focused on one point which was the desire for relationship without realizing that this one point can only exists through my accepted participation and preoccupation in my mind as energy personality, instead of simply being here, in my human physical body, embracing, Worthing and supporting me.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed the fear of ending up alone to exists within and as me and in that, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed my existence of fear of ending up alone to direct my life and my world.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to attach the belief/thought: “those that end up alone are losers” to the fear of ending up alone.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘unworthiness’ to ending up alone and thus, due to me being alone, I couldn’t embrace myself as worthy and allowed self abuse and sabotage through compromising for any male that would agree to be with me, just to be able to define myself as worthy.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to define myself as unworthy as long as I don’t have a relationship/agreement because I’ve attached worthiness to having a partner. Which within that, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to desire, want and need agreement/relationship to be able accept myself as worthy as well as being validated as worthy by society.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the extent of separation that I’ve allowed to exists within and as me through the fear of ending up as well as not realizing that aloneness is a limited perception that I’ve believed in through separating myself from myself and this physical world.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to see one of my relative who is single and old and assumed that she is miserable and lonely and thus, made the decision in very young age that I won’t end up alone like she did, not realizing that the decision was made in separation of me due to the allowance of fear that I’ve accepted to exists within and as me.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to see my older sister when she was 28 years old depressed and lonely for not being in a relationship and thus, I’ve made the decision to not end up alone when I was 28 years old, not seeing and understanding that the decision was made out of fear of ending up alone, in separation of me.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that ending up alone will make me be lonely and depressive, because I’ve not realized that those emotions are self created decisions that I’ve decided to live as, in separation of me through participating in my mind consistently and continually instead of remaining here, in my human physical body.

When and as I see myself thinking about a potential partner, I immediately stop, breath and making sure that I’m within my human physical body. I use this opportunity to test my application in relation to letting go of the fear of ending up alone and thus, I’m assessing my starting point within engaging/walking towards an agreement with this person.

When and as I see myself in a process of manipulate a being to be in agreement with me, I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back here. I will not accept and allow any decision that is based on the fear of ending up alone and thus, I’m the directive principle of myself and my world and will not take any shit from myself. I’ve realized how I’ve sabotage and abused myself within decision making that where based on the fear of ending up alone, I see where those decisions took me and thus - Till here no further.

I commit to myself to NOT accept and allow myself to participate within the fear of ending up alone because I see and realize that I’m Here, with all that exists and that aloneness can exists ONLY within one’s mind in total separation from oneself and one’s world.