From Disempowerment to Self-Empowerment - Day 459

The feeling of disempowerment either in intimate relationship and/or partnership is detrimental on the individual level as one is accepting and allowing one's reaction of being disempowered to be one's directive principle and within that, one is in fact placing oneself in a disempowered position in how one is then directing the relationship/partnership.

 

Now, when/if one do not take absolute self responsibility for one's reaction of feeling disempowered, the mind will take responsibility and perpetuate the experience within oneself, making the experience worse than what it actually is within one's eyes. Obviously, within that scenario, where one do not take responsibility for one's experiences, the relationship/partnership will lead to devastated path as one would keep justifying for oneself why one feels disempowered within the relationship/partnership and would in essence, give up on oneself and oneself in relationship to the relationship/partnership.

 

What I have found for myself was that as long as I'm reacting as an experience of feeling disempowered, I am creating myself as disempowered and within that, abdicating my responsibility to direct the relationship/partnership within the principle of that which is best for all. I also found that as long as I'm reacting, I'm unable to direct points effectively because within the reactions, I'm not seeing everything clearly - I don't see the source of the reactions, I do not see the other within their own process and I do not see what is best for all within that moment in time.

 

The interesting thing is that when I go and "direct" the point with another, while still being in a reaction, I would then perpetuate my experience of disempowerment because in my mind, I've now tried to direct the point and I failed again or in other words, I feel even more disempowered than before. The fact of the matter is that it is not so much that the outcome is being more disempowered, but rather the physical reality is showing me is that it is useless to direct points with another when I'm in a reaction, even the slightest reaction, because the direction that I'm giving to the point is limited since the reaction is creating a narrow view of reality which do not allows me to direct a point within the principle of what is best for all but rather, what is best to perpetuate my own self-definition of feeling disempowered.

 

In many cases, I found that I would justify for myself my experience of feeling disempowered in relation to another by telling myself things like: "it's already to late, the point had already moved" which is a statement of giving up however, the next thought would be "we'll have to now wait for consequences to manifest" which is actually a very interesting design because what this type of thoughts represent is  an attempt to empower myself within my own mind as in waiting for consequences to manifest so that I can then "prove" my original point and in the future say: "I told you so" as a mean of taking back my authority and power. The other dimension within these type of thoughts is Spite whereas, waiting for consequences to manifest is another way of saying: "fuck this, I am willing to let this all thing fall" without realizing that harm and damage that the spite holds whereas I am willing to destroy what we have build together so that I could through consequences, gain my power within the point.

 

So, what does it all show - firstly, we are the only ones who are creating our experience of self-disempowered as we have accepted and allowed ourselves to define ourselves as such when we accepted and allowed a reaction to exists within and as ourselves. From this moment onwards, the direction that we would give to the point would be from the starting point of wanting to feel empowered again and so, the direction isn't aligned with what is best for all but rather, what is best for us to feel empowered again without realizing that this is based on a feeling, an experience, instead of walking the path of creating ourselves as self-empowered as a living expression of ourselves and the only way to walk the path is to stop the reactions within oneself so that one can actually see what is best for all on a physical level, in any given moment.

 

The next point is - what can we do when a direction was already given by our partner without our full clarity, agreement in relation to a specific point? Here, what I found is that I must again, first stop my reaction in relation to a direction being given without my full consent because if I allow a reaction here, I am not able to assess whether the direction that was given is in alignment to the principle that I stand for/as - walking the direction which will manifest the result that is best for all because the reaction in itself manifesting a veil within my mind that is blinding me from seeing the physical outflows of the direction that was given and if I cannot see all the possible outflows, I cannot determine whether the direction is best for all.

Then, when I'm absolutely clear within myself, and I've looked at all the points/outflows/outcomes I can direct the point whereas, if the direction that was given is aligned with what is best for all, I would do everything possible to support the way forwards and if the point is not aligned with what is best for all, I would discuss the point with  the other, share with them what I see  so that together, we can consider all the points and align the direction.

 

The next point of direction within that scenario is to align our relationship/partnership where we make sure that all decisions are made when the point is clear within ourselves and within that, we stand by our commitment to make the relationship/partnership strong within the principle of "2 or more in my name".

 

What does it mean 2 or more in my name – will discuss in blogs to come.

 

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Artwork by Johanna Harmon