Aug 11, 2014 | By: A Woman

A year passed by - Day 481

Gian was mentioning the other day that when ever someone speak about Bernard, they speak about him in a present tense; and I was looking at this point for myself of how to me Bernard is still 'here' as the principles that he stood as and lived by - this, could  never die with him.


His death was a challenge to say the least - having to 'grow up' from Bernard's protective shell and finding my own feet within myself. Learning to trust myself, learning to direct and move myself, learning to develop communication skills that are based on support to one another, learning to live independently and yet interdependent with the people around me; learning to consider myself and others, learning to care for myself and others, learning to be patience with myself and others.


Bernard, in his presence, showed us the way and the tools to develop these potentials inside ourselves but it was up to us to stand up and walk these potentials, as principles for ourselves and each other. With his death, we had to make the ultimate decision of who we are and what we stand for though for and for us, there was never a question - we just stood and continued walking, together, with absolute support to one another.


Cerise mentioned today in her blog:

In order for us to really grow we had to step out from under the protection that Bernard gave us. It may not have been his intention to shelter us, but he did nonetheless. He would weather a storm if it meant another wouldn't have to. We got too comfortable in the safety and guidance he naturally gave out, we did not move ourselves. The only way that we could really stand up on our own was for him to die - we were not doing it on our own


Indeed - those who knew Bernard realized this point for themselves - that for us to grow and expand ourselves, he had to die as we didn't take the responsibility to stand up when he was alive - we were all hoping that we could find a ways to change without actively and physically changing ourselves.


Bernard's death in many ways showed us the consequences of when waiting for someone else to walk that which we have to walk ourselves. Realizing this now will not change the past but we can change the future where we no longer wait for consequences to manifest but instead we walk the prevention process as solutions that can be physically applied.


Therefore, I will not repeat the same mistake again in waiting for someone to pave the way for me instead of me paving the way for myself; I will not sit back and wait for the world to fix itself, I will become the solution myself. I will not wait until the world reaches the point of no return, I will stand up and create a future that is best for all.


So, in looking at the past year - what we have created together thus far and whom we have become - I am grateful for having Bernard in our lives and more so, I am grateful for the opportunity to walk with the people whom are walking with me. we have walked a long way and the road ahead is not an easy one to walk but I am certain that together we will pave the way to create future that is worth living. If anything, this was what Bernard showed us in his death.


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